Rev Momma

Twas the Night Before Christmas

2011-12-27T12:13:00.000-08:00

Twas the Night Before Christmas at the Preacher's House...
There was a very cool article about how pastor's do Christmas that was floating around Facebook that I thought was pretty good.

For a lot of folks Christmas can be stressful, especially for Clergy, Clergy Moms and Dads, and I believe especially for Clergy Couples. Churches can do a lot to ease the stress off the pastor so that the pastor may be the most effective s/he can be-- especially on the night that is most the most highly attended church service of the year!

I am very very thankful for the amazing church I serve!

Messiah United Methodist Church is an amazing community of faith sharing the joy of Jesus Christ!

I've had both of my babies here. In fact we found out the day after we moved in the parsonage that we were pregnant.

I thought they would just be so disappointed! Here they brought on this young vibrant pastor and I was exhausted.... But no, they never thought or acted this way. Once my church knew that Kevin and I were expecting our first child- they were as ecstatic as we were! Then when sixteen months after our first we had our second, they joyfully welcomed her too!

Messiah has always been wonderful at offering childcare at church events, worship, meetings, etc. They were like this way before I was here.

But here's the huge thing- if I'm the only one who needs childcare at a meeting...it is still made available for me. That is huge! (Some of you will really know this!)

We have wonderful families, but neither Kevin's family nor mine live close by.
At church events, worship, etc, we do not have family who can help with our children.
One year, our children were in the nursery until 12:30am on Christmas Eve!
(We have the most amazing childcare/nursery workers ever!!! They love our children and we love them!)

We are a clergy couple- so we usually both need to be at church at the same time.
Currently, we serve at the same church (which has advantages and disadvantages to child care needs--for ex we once were both leading retreats (me for the Women's Ministry, him for the Youth on the same weekend- Aghh!)

For Christmas Eve this means four services 5, 7, 9, and 11. I lead the 5pm service for children and families. This service used to only have the children's Christmas pageant and children's music.... which is great--but I added a sermon when I came on board. Mostly because I figured that for some folks this may the only church service they attend all year, but also because every opportunity I get, I'm going to preach the Gospel. Dr. Teresa Fry-Brown used to walk into the classroom, shout out a text, and give us 3-5 minutes to preach a 3-5 minute sermon.
Even if I've got only a small window of time...its still an opportunity...

Kevin preaches at the 7pm Youth Service and then we're both at 9 and 11.

For a couple years now, one of our friends who also happens to be a staff member (although this is not part of her job!) has offered to be at our house with our children (and her kids come over too) we turn on the fire and they hang out enjoy watching movies, and our kids get to bed.

They did this again for us this year and it is a huge help- an enormous relief!

So after I finish preaching the 5pm service, I get the kiddos, take them home, get them in their Christmas pjs, and we put out Santa's cookies (milk will come out later).

I am so thankful for our friends helping us with this!

A few other kids have joined in this tradition- folks involved in the music ministry (who are also at church all night) have dropped off their kids.
SO in addition to my two-- our friends watched 2 other families' children!
With a total of 5 kids.
Before we left for church earlier in the afternoon on Christmas Eve-we pulled our pack n play out for one baby and cleaned the guest room up for another child to sleep.
Of course now- it still looks like a tornado hit our house --- post-Christmas....

Also for the past few years, one of the amazing women from our church, a Mom, and a friend, and a leader out of our PoLO's Parents of Little Ones ministry has organized "Christmas Eve Lunch" to be brought to our house on the 24th.

This is amazing and overwhelming, and I fight back tears as swarms of loving folks ring our doorbell bringing food. We were brought, turkey, ham, potatoes, green bean casserole, pumpkin bread, pumpkin cake, apple pie, salad, fruit salad, a Breakfast casserole! SO So much food!!! We ate a bit for Christmas lunch... but we are so go-go-go... that we don't tend to fill up too much on Christmas Eve... We really eat this on Christmas Day!
We have nothing to worry about on Christmas Day because of this joyful and kind service! And we are SO THANKFUL!

On Christmas Eve I tried to clean most of the day- we're having visitors coming in town this week... and since folks would be over in the evening of Christmas Eve I wanted things clean and organized... and I just wanted it to look nice for me- especially before the whirlwind came Christmas Day.
I cleaned until around noon ish-- then we ate a bit of lunch and then I put the girls in the bath by 2 ish. Gracie thought it was hilarious that she was taking a bath in the middle of the day!

I got the girls in their dresses, hair done, tights, shoes, and Kevin and I got ready and then we read "Twas the Night Before Christmas."

I wanted to be at church by 3:30 but didn't make it till 4 (still needed to print out my sermon and go over it a bit)-- even when its 5 minutes-- you still want it good! :)

Kevin was going to drop off girls at the Children's Choir room by 4:30 and get them where they needed to be. I had enough time to print sermon, pull my hair up, get my mic, robe, and stole on, put the nursery workers cards and gift cards together (and asked someone to take them down to the nursery for me- yay for delegating!) and got in the sanctuary to greet folks coming.

5pm came and the service went great! I'm pretty sure we had about 1000 folks at the Christmas Eve Service (but that's a "preacher's count" lol) Folks went out to the narthex...

The greatest part of service this year? After preaching my sermon- I sat with my family and together we watched the pageant together. We even got a picture!

Afterwards one of the youth helped Kevin get girls in settled in stroller to go home while I said goodbye to folks. Then I walked the girls home and got them settled with our friends.

I made it back in time to see the 7pm service. I wasn't participating in this service, so I had the great joy to sit in the pew and hear my husband preach!

You might be wondering - do preacher's eat dinner on Christmas Eve? I'm not sure how other's do it-- but I only eat and the other pastors and musicians and those involved in services at Messiah eat because of the love and generosity of the SPRC (for non Methodists- that's Staff Parish Relations Committee --they're like HR) The Staff Parish Committee sets a spread for all of us in the parlor. We have caffeinated drinks (a must), sandwiches, hors d'oeuvres, sweets, etc.. Everything is delicious and we graze all night.

One of the best Christmas Eve's -- it was right before the 11 o'clock service and I said something that sounded really Southern and I laughed at myself and said, "Wow, I'm tired my Southern accent is really coming out!" And Ralph (our Sr. Pastor said), "I hate to tell you this, but you always sound Southern!" We all were rolling! He has an incredible sense of humor!

The greatest part of Christmas Eve is singing "Silent Night" seeing the light of the Christ candle spread throughout the congregation and as the light is spread, Mary, Joseph, and baby Jesus come up the aisle and stand with the pastors. I love sharing a hymnal with my amazing husband, holding my light high, and seeing the light throughout the congregation knowing that Christ has come!

At the end of singing Silent Night, Pastor Ralph gives this benediction:

"O holy Child of Bethlehem, descend to us we pray;
cast out our sin, and enter in, be born in us today!"

We sing "Joy to the World" and process out of the church with the acolyte leading, then Mary and Joseph, then Kevin and me arm in arm, and then Pastor Ralph and Pastor Jose side by side (they tend not to walk arm in arm!).

I love Christmas Eve! I love being a pastor and a mom and a wife-- and I love that God and my church have called and equipped me in all of the above!

12 Days of Christmas

2011-12-27T09:56:00.001-08:00

Its sad to me that most people seem like they are done with Christmas... It is still Christmas! :)
I am seriously not trying to be a liturgical snob here.

Most of us are burnt-out on Christmas because decorations came up after Halloween.

So many people have taken down their trees and decorations. And our tree is looking a bit of a fire hazard and will have to come down soon... and I totally understand the desire to have everything neat and packed away so that vacation time can be enjoyable (as some folks are doing.) But it is Still Christmas! We have 12 days to celebrate the birth of Christ!

The 12 Days of Christmas is not just a song that is played on the radio...
It has real meaning.
Delia Halverson points out in her book, "Teaching and Celebrating the Christian Seasons" that the origin of the Twelve Days of Christmas song was actually a device to teach Christianity.

The meaning behind the song is :
True Love---------------------- God
Me------------------------------ Baptized Christian
Partridge in a Pear Tree--------Jesus (a partridge acts as a decoy to save its babies)
Two Turtle Doves---------------Old and New Testaments, witnesses of God
Three French Hens--------------Faith, Hope, Love (1 Corinthians 13:13)
you know this one its what we read at all the weddings...
Four Calling Birds----------------Four Gospels (Matthew, Mark, Luke, John)
Five Gold Rings------------------Torah of Old Testament (the first five books)
Six geese a-laying----------------Six days God created (Genesis 1)
Seven swans a-swimming--------Seven gifts of Holy Spirit (Romans 12:6-8;
1 Corinthians 12:8-11)
Eight maids a-milking-------------Eight Beatitudes (Matthew 6: 3-10)
Nine ladies dancing----------------Nine gifts of Holy Spirit (Galatians 5:22)
Ten lords a-leaping----------------Ten Commandments (Exodus 20: 1-7)
Eleven pipers piping---------------Eleven faithful apostles (minus Judas Iscariot)
Twelve drummers drumming------Twelve points in Apostles' Creed

Epiphany does not come until January 6

We still have time to be in Christmas! My husband, Kevin preached a great sermon on Christmas Eve titled, "Doing Christmas" where he shared how we get so caught up in doing Christmas that we do not "feel" Christmas.

Perhaps it has been a rush getting ready for family and Christmas, and gifts, and baking, and cleaning.

Advent and Christmas are quite hectic in my house- but I am thankful for these 12 days. I do not take vacation during this time- I'm usually one of few in the office this week. Kevin and I usually take the first week of January for vacation so that our Senior pastor and Director of Congregational Care can be away this week. I actually love being in the office. It is quiet, I have time to clean, to reflect, to prepare for future sermons. But most of all- this week allows me space to truly BE in the power of these 12 Days of Christmas. To allow space to soak in the power of the Incarnation.

So Merry Christmas!

Prayer for Bullies and those they bully

2011-12-14T12:27:00.000-08:00

Lord, soften the hardened hearts of bullies. Tame their harsh tounges when they threaten and puff themselves up. Restrain them in their haste to tear others down. I cry out and wonder why they are the way they are? Help me Lord to be strong, make me a fortress in their assault. I do not know why they do what they do. I do not understand why others follow them. I am hurt and angry by their weapons of intimidation, fear, and manipulation. I teach my children, “Bullies have a hurt in their heart and that is why they hurt others. Maybe we can show them love. Maybe we will teach their hearts to be kind.” And yet, Lord, often” killing them with kindness”, only seems to fuel their agenda. This is too big for me. I give you the pain. I am too small to handle them. I feel too small to shine your light in their darkness. I do not feel equipped. I cannot teach their hearts to be kind. Thank you for your Son, who came for all. Your love came down on Christmas to save us all. Let the love of your Son Jesus Christ dwell in the hearts of all your children. Let bullies cease their desire for a control which creates chaos and disunity. Let your love rule over our hearts, let us let Jesus be our Lord who guides us, let your love unite us all. Amen.

What's the Deal with Santa?

2011-12-06T14:12:00.000-08:00

There are a lot of posts these days about Santa. There are articles, there are news reporters blurting out the "truth" about Santa on the local new s, there are teachers telling their 2rd graders...I've seen folks share they don't want to lie to their children by telling them to believe in Santa.

Some believe that if you talk about Santa it takes away from "keeping Christ in Christmas."
They may be the same people who get upset about using X in Xmas.... I remember the gasps across my Christian Thought colloquy when the TA wrote "Xian" on the board to shorten it. The TA said to all of us - get over this- X- means Chi- for Christ....This image has floated around Facebook:

I have no judgment (? that's even probably too strong) towards those who love Santa or demonize him. Nor do I think that my words will be the all wise words of how to deal with Santa...but I do have an opinion about Santa, so I thought I'd share.

I actually love Santa. I'm a pretty optimistic person- I do not believe optimism means naivite either. (Perhaps that will be another posts someday...)

I never grew up feeling like Santa and celebrating Jesus' birth were mutually exclusive.
I don't really feel like Santa means commercialism or consumerism.
Yes, manufactures, toy stores, etc have manipulated the Santa image to sell products.
I do believe parents have used Santa to manipulate (read here scare) their children into good behavior.
I think sometimes children may have a wrong view of Santa--like he'll bring them whatever they want... but I don't think that's their fault. I think they just haven't been taught who Santa is.

So- Who do I think Santa is?
Santa is Saint Nicholas- someone who loved Jesus and gave to the poor and shared his love of Christ with others. Saint Nicholas was a bishop and a saint.
See: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saint_Nicholas (I'm having trouble with this link- but its wiki)....
Kevin and I loved reading this historical fiction book a few years ago- "The Autobiography of Santa Claus" It was a fun historical novel to read that we greatly enjoyed reading to each other. Whenever I talk to my girls about Santa- I say that Santa does what he does because of his love for Christ. We may meet people who dress up like Santa who do not reflect this, but it does not discount the core of who Santa was/is. I talk about how the wise men brought gifts to Jesus. I talk about how Jesus received three gifts. I talk about how the greatest gift we have is that God gave us His Son to save us. We watch the Veggie Tales "Saint Nicholas: A Story of Giving."

For parents -- I loved this response about Santa.

We also love watching Charlie Brown Christmas, we love watching Rudolph, we love watching Frosty, The Night Before Christmas- and pretty much any Christmas special out there (we even have a He-Man/She-Ra Christmas special!
We watched Rudolph the other night- what a phenomenal movie about rejection, grace, redemption, who are the misfit toys today??? We talked about these things with the girls as we watched the movie. God calls us not to judge others, but to see their gifts and know that God has made them for a purpose. These are the conversations we have. There can be good and powerful teaching conversations that are helpful and that do not overwhelm them with too much info.

Why should I deconstruct the world for them before they have yet experienced it? I believe it is important to deconstruct things - for sure! I had a solid and wonderful liberal arts education! I've read Foucault, Derrida, Heidegger, Lyotard- I took Postmodern Theory, Philosophy, etc.. Much thanks thanks to incredibly smart and caring professors at Birmingham-Southern College and more deconstructing as a US-2 Missionary thanks to the General Board of Global Ministries and Central UMC in Detroit. I continued the joy of deconstructing in seminary.

Deconstructing is fun- interesting, intellectual, important.
It shouldn't be done for our own agendas... b/c then we'd just have to deconstruct ourselves!

Which.... really- at the end of the day that is what theology should do... we need to deconstruct ourselves...

We deconstruct, we tear down, and what do we find at the core? Truth. Incarnation. Christ.

There is more than us-- we are made in the image of God.
We are made to point to something more.

I loved loved loved this wonderful article about the power of Incarnational Theology!

The power of believing is important- but we don't believe just to believe- we don't believe in an idea or an idol, or a concept, we believe in a person- Jesus Christ.
A real person who came and lived, and died, and rose again for us.

Who came so that we may have life- and not just any life, but a life transformed and abundant.

And we have wonderful wonderful amazing persons who help point us to the person of Christ and help us live more like Jesus. Saint Nicholas was one of those persons.

So what do I tell my girls?
I tell them to believe -in Jesus, to believe in Saint Nicholas (Santa) and to believe in themselves and what God can do through them to give, to share joy, and share the love of Christ.

Advent Prayer

2011-12-06T13:43:00.000-08:00

Almighty God of light and hope and healing,
in this advent waiting time
wrap the power of hope around each of us.

Fill us with the expectancy of joy and love
and the miracle of the incarnation.

Let all your people know that you are with them.

Your love is being birthed anew throughout the world.

Wrap love and prayers us like swaddling clothes
and rock each of us in your nurturing care.

Amen.

Christmas at Home

2011-11-23T08:27:00.001-08:00

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving and then Sunday we begin Advent

I hope you have a wonderful and safe Thanksgiving!

I invite you to come to Messiah to celebrate the beginning of advent:

What is Advent?

As we begin the Christian year, we also celebrate the holy season known as Advent. It is a time when we prepare ourselves for the coming of our Messiah. Advent means "coming." We celebrate these days of Advent in expectation and preparation for Christ's arrival.

Through the centuries, Christians have observed a time of waiting and expectation before celebrating the birth of the Savior at Christmas. The Advent season is a time for reflection and preparation, but its mood is joyful. Advent has been enriched by Christian tradition to reflect its distinctive Christian meaning. It proclaims the revelation of God's love as expressed in Christ's birth in a humble stable, His sacrificial death on the cross, and His victorious resurrection! It points to the hope of Christ's coming again as the King of kings and Lord of lords. Advent makes innkeepers out of all of us, asking each of us to make room for the arrival of Christ the King. Let us, prepare room for Christ in our hearts, our lives, and our homes!

We offer Christmas at Home at Messiah -an afternoon filled with ways to prepare for Christmas!

From 3-5 We’ll have Advent Workshops (gingerbread houses, snippets, gum drop tress, advent wreathes, etc.) followed by our crock pot pot-luck!

Bring something in the crock pot to share or bring a yummy dessert!

Come then to worship with our Hanging of the Greens and prepare the church and your heart for Christmas!

Afterwards, we’ll enjoy hot cocoa and watch “A Charlie Brown Christmas!"

Below are some pictures of Christmas at Home last year at Messiah! I hope you'll be able to join us this year!

The Journey

2011-11-21T09:10:00.000-08:00

A simple girl

An ordinary man

An unforgettable destination

The Journey

Christmas! We know all about this wonderful season- we have bumper stickers, t-shirts, Christmas sweaters, wreaths, and decorations. The house becomes prepared with delightful smells, joyful music, and the colors of red and green abound! We know about Christmas! The story has been told and retold, we’ve read the story, seen the movie, and watched pageants of children in shepherd bathrobes, “yet, its very familiarity may keep us from fully grasping its riches.” Adam Hamilton shares this powerful sentiment at the beginning of his book “The Journey: Walking the Road to Bethlehem.

Beginning next Sunday, Messiah will offer a five-week sermon series and study you won’t want to miss where we will journey to Bethlehem from Nazareth in the footsteps of Mary, Joseph, the shepherds, and others, gaining insight into our own journeys with Christ. Whether you are a long-time Christian or simply curious about the story of Christmas, you are invited to join us on this inspiring journey.

Someone once said to me, “I don’t need to go to church- I’ve heard the stories, I’ve read the bible… I know it. I don’t need someone to tell me what I already know every Sunday.”

I may have faith, and I may be familiar with the stories of the bible, but God’s word is a living word, my life is ever-changing, the world is in constant motion, and God has more for me to learn, understand, grow, and do. I need to come and hear and be on this journey.

Every advent we travel to find a child born in a manger for us. This advent, we explore this journey deeper, aware that there is so much more God has in store for us. We invite Christ by singing, “O come, O Come Emanuel” and Christ invites us come to a little town called Bethlehem. Join us on this journey as we begin advent. Let us journey together to Christ!

Turning off....

2011-11-20T19:46:00.000-08:00

Up at 4ish after a child wet the bed.
Snoozed with said child till 6.
Church by 7:15 -- all of us.

Amazing Day! Food Pounding-- We have tons and tons of food brought by everyone for families in our area in need of Thanksgiving and Christmas. Christmas Shoeboxes were collected, College Care packages were sent out. Nothing But Nets collected money.
We sorted all the food after church- This year the girls were old enough to help, but I truly felt worried we wouldn't make it through when I got them from the nursery at 12:10... they were melting down!
There is a sorting party in the sanctuary, I told the girls! We're invited to help! :)
They had a blast! It was so awesome to see Sophia- 3- excitedly taking stuffing, potatoes, canned goods, soup,and other groceries. I helped her up and down the stairs, found food for her and together we sorted. Gracie (4) went right to work and seemed to know just what to do. A 6 year old handed Sophia some food to deliver to its correct place and Sophia said, "Mommy, that was so nice!"

We waited to get the name of our family we would deliver to. We got a family with a 6 and 4 year old girl! Gracie was very excited about this! We packed a full bag for each person in the family, one set for Thanksgiving and one for Christmas. Lots of food was there- veggies, fruit, pie crust, filling, yams, marshmellows, gravy, ....soups, pasta, sauce, rice, potatoes, pancakes, syrup, cereal, oatmeal--- everything for Thanksgiving and everything for every day

We picked up our turkey, milk, and bag of fresh produce. And off we went to meet our family! Gracie played with the girls instantly and the Dad from the family helped me unload the car while Kevin entertained Sophia who was half asleep. Grace and I, the Mom and Dad and two girls and I prayed together. It was so wonderful. I wished I spoke Spanish- the Holy Spirit interceded and prayed with, for, and through us.

Home- Sophia and Kevin napped, Gracie watched a show...and I worked on prepping for Disciple Bible Study.

Fixed Dinner- Fed Kids. Walked them with the help of our "adopted grandma"/ nursery worker- to the nursery.

Amazing Disciple 2 Class- Talking about what it means to wait for the Lord, trust, and have patience like Joseph! Before we focused on the study- we ordered ourselves for ministry to the Hypothermia Rotating Shelter-- We're giving each guest Christmas gifts (20 guests) a $45 payless gift card (for good shoes), the Prayer Shawl knitters/crocheters of the church are making hats for the guests, one wonderful person in the class offered to make gift card holders, we are going to give inspirational little books along with our gifts. We'll be keeping their heads warm, feet warm, and hearts warm too.

Kevin texted to me to have someone walk home with me b/c there was a weird guy outside in the parking lot... Thankful for the fellows who made sure I got through the dark parking lot safely!

Home and cannot shake conversations from Disciple 2, the day, thoughts about church, vision for church universal, UMC, and all the places and ways God is leading the church and me.

It is hard to shut all of that down....

I'm also thinking about the visit I need to make for someone having triple by pass surgery... thinking about the Thanksgiving Eve Service I need to work on, thinking about the Hanging of the Greens Service for Saturday evening. Calling folks who are going to read and participate... Hoping that folks signed up for the Crock Pot Pot-Luck Saturday before the worship service (We have Christmas at Home: advent workshops, crock pot potluck, hanging of the greens service, and watching the Charlie Brown Christmas movie).
I'm thinking about updating the new 20Something class email list... and our new study. Their questions, vibrance, the way they inspire me...

There is so much- so much in my head and my heart.... and my feet are aching and my brain is like a ricocheting ideas and thoughts....my heart is overwhelmed with joy and gratitude...

It is so hard to slow all that down and know I can stop....
There is so much to do and plan and prepare and process...

And yet I need rest and I need to stop and I need for a moment to not be planning and preparing and processing-- sometimes I just need to be. Sometimes I do not need to be multitasking.... and going, going, going....

Lord, help me, even the midst of such overwhelming joy, even when everything is good and worthy, and exciting... to calm down and to stop.... to rest in you. To honor you and the life, body, mind and soul you have given me-- but giving me- part of your creation-- time to be renewed. Amen.

The Cat in the Hat

2011-09-21T20:09:00.000-07:00

I'm excited to be speaking at St. Stephen's UMC on Monday to their Mom's group. They've asked me to come and speak on balance. I did a retreat on this almost two years ago for our Women's Retreat at Messiah. I called the retreat "Living God's Creation in a World of Chaos."
The retreat is based on Genesis. Creation- and what God does in creation- God creates out of chaos. There is always chaos.... what do we do with that?
Do we control it? or do we allow God to create out of it?

Tonight I mentioned to someone that I'd be doing this on Monday morning. I've written about this kind of thing before.... but I said that I was doing this talk on balance and the person responded laughing, "Oh do you know anything about that?" I "joked" back-- Yes- I know a lot about juggling for sure!

Example:
Today I had a meeting in Richmond. Because of this I missed our District Clergy Meeting- but Kevin still needed to be there. Preschool for the girls didn't start until 10- but Kevin actually needed to be at meeting by 9:30 (but that's only the coffee and doughnuts...part). The MOM's group at church meets at 9:15 and had childcare so I asked if Kevin could drop them off then and if one of the Mom's would walk the girls to school at 10 for us. I arranged a ride for Kevin with someone who was willing to leave a little late. I left around 8 to get to Richmond after setting out clothes for the girls. I was so very happy when Kevin called me and all of it worked out :)

Someone may say - why did you do all that- someone may say I'm codependent--someone may say-- why should I find my husband's ride yada yada.... coordinating schedules, making sure calendars mesh--- that kind of works to my gifts, so I do that. I do not feel burdened by that.... but I juggle it - I organize it - I make it work (kind of feel like Tim Gunn when I say that :) I do not make it work alone... :)

But back to the the person's laughing response - "Do you know anything about that?"
I'm not hurt by the comment, but I wonder when I hear this - and I write about this because I hear people say things like this to other folks a lot-... what is it that others expect? Do you ever wonder that when you hear a response like this?

What is they expect when it comes to balance? What do we expect when when we say balance?
Sometimes comments like this do bother me a bit- if I'm completely honest, only because it is a slight put down-- or it could be taken that way. It hits my overachiever button-- where I want to prove to you (whoever the you is) that YES I am balanced- YES I have it all together- YES I DO- and I'll show you!!! and then you'll see!

Why do I care what they think? (It's like I want their gold star...) This is silly, but I think anyone who is an overachiever type person may understand this desire.

My balance may not look like your balance-- my balance is not status quo, static (and truly my life will never looks like level scales)... but that is not peace for me. My balance is about taking the chaos that life throws at me and letting the Holy Spirit sweep over it the way God swept over the dark watery chaos of the beginning and creating something new and good!

Tonight I read "The Cat in the Hat" to Grace and Sophia for the millionth time.

Tonight, as I read these words:

Look at me! Lookat me now!" said the cat. "With a cup and a cake
On the top of my hat! I can hold up TWO books! I can hold up the fish!
And a little toy ship! And some milk ona dish! And look!
I can hop up and down on the ball! Butthat is not all! Oh, no.
That is not all... "Look at me! Lookat me! Look at me NOW!
It is fun to have fun. But you have toknow how. I can hold up the cup
And the milk and the cake! I can hold upthese books! And the fish on a rake!
I can hold the toy ship! And a littletoy man! And look! With my tail I can hold a red fan!
I can fan with the fan As I hop on the ball! But that is not all. Oh, no. That is not all....".
That is what the cat said...Then he fell on his head!
He came down with abump from up there on the ball.

The thought occurred to me that we are all we are all on a giant ball-- and we are trying to balance it all-- and it doesn't work. It doesn't work if you're trying to do it by yourself. The only reason I "balance" at all - is because I am held by the power of God, the Holy Spirit guides, comforts, instructs, holds it all together, holds me accountable, and makes something new...something I would not be able to see. God surrounds me with people who help me to hold it all too- people who creatively help me see, create, and do. There is no way this day would have worked had I not had the community and supportive, amazing, people around us. This is the church! This is the body of Christ. This is what tells me every day that I am not alone. This is what tells my silly overachiever button that life is not about me being an overachiever- life is not about me saying, "I can do it all by myself." (Which my mother will tell you was my first full sentence).
Life is about saying look at me look at me look at me now- I fall and I am broken- and look at we look at us- look at Christ- and see how we are now whole. Whole from brokenness, created new out of chaos.

John Wesley said, "The best of all---God is with us." The other night I was at a workshop where they asked us to think about what it is we love most about our church. We thought about that, talked about it, wrote it down. Then they said, "What if you didn't have that?" The words that came were : devastating, lonely, isolating.

Without God, without church, without community, we'd constantly be falling down with a crash.
But because of God we're whole, because of church we're loved, and because of community we're held together.

I would add to Wesley's quote- that the best of all is that God is with us, and so is- the church.

Listening

2011-09-20T11:58:00.000-07:00

It has been forever since I've posted! Lately- every quiet moment is taken up with cleaning, organizing, bill paying, sermon prep, --- and every other moment is visiting folks, email replies, congregational care calls, playing with the girls, story reading to the girls, cooking, laundry, meetings, etc.. life....
I came across this quote posted on Rachel Held Evans' blog-- and it made me smile!
Most Relatable:
Emerging Mummy with “In Which I Can Feel Like Sisyphus”
“When I'm picking up for the eleventy-billionth time, when every one needs to eat and it seems like wejust ate, when we are wondering what to do with our one wild and precious life that sure isn't feeling very wild or precious right about now, when the laundry is piled unfolded and someone spills their full glass of milk on the floor I just washed and the bickering and noise enters its second hour and the house is too hot and there isn't much time for the things that I want to do on the day off, I feel like Sisyphus, futile, pushing a rock up a hill that will never summit

Everytime I turn around - I've cleaned the kitchen to find that shredded cheese is now spread all over the living room... (how did this happen?) Juice has been spilled on the dog.... play-doh is stuck to my toe....
We're still working on potty training our youngest - and that has lots of fun challenges.. While cooking dinner I hear the girls going upstairs and playing dress up- they come downstairs and do a "fashionista fashion show for us"

We're getting back to a rhythm with the girls going to preschool- back to preparing lunches, back to the dash for finding our school bag in the morning because it was not hung up in the "spot"
-- The other day in the car Gracie told Kevin- "Daddy we need to hurry." Kevin pulled over and told her that we did not need to be in a hurry- and all would be well. He wanted her to know that we didn't have be rush, rush, rushing... as we so often feel... We don't want to live in a attitude of go go go stress- but in receive receive grace and give give abundantly....

All this balanced with being a full time pastor at an incredible church. My children are around a lot- and thankfully everyone at church seems to love my children. It helps that they are just awesome awesome kids-- but it can be a little crazy when at the Wednesday night dinner they refuse to eat and only want to run around the Fellowship Hall. But I listen... and I hear joy and laughter. Last Wednesday the girls had some stickers and ran throughout the fellowship dinner giving everyone stickers and hugs. What did I hear- expressions of joy.... contagious....

I took Gracie with me on a visit recently- we took a woman a prayer shawl and Gracie prayed, "Dear God please heal, Ms., Ms. Ms... and I filled her name- Yes, heal Ms. XYZ. Make her feel better. Give her peace. Thank you for Jesus. Amen."
I listened and I hear- the Holy Spirit move as the woman we visited, her husband, sister and I held hands and continued to pray- but no one needed to say anything after that.

I was headed to take communion to a retreat I was leading and Gracie heard me talking to Kevin about getting communion supplies-- Gracie said, "I want us to have communion." We stopped and had worship and communion in our living room. It was awesome. Then they dropped me off to do my retreat.

I have this wonder, chaotic, filled, and blessed life!

I haven't been writing lately- but I've been listening to God, experiencing the power of joy, and doing pretty good. Yet I have been going and going-- and doing and doing and living and living-- I'm thankful for a moment to make myself stop - and share and reflect on all that I am experiencing and hearing. I need this too. I need moments of reflection so that I can listen to what my life and to what God is saying. Thanks for listening.

God Is

2011-06-23T07:54:00.001-07:00

Dead Man Walking

2011-04-11T08:28:00.000-07:00

Rev. Elizabeth Anderson
John 11: 1-45
“Dead Man Walking”
April 10, 2011

Shut--- up in the tomb, bound, cold, buried, dead--- he laid.
Light all of a sudden began tearing into the darkness of the cave and a voice shouted, “Lazarus! Come out!” Not just any voice- not just words but life- He could hear—ears unstopped, breathing begun. He awakened, he rose, he stood—still bound and wrapped in funeral linen. Groggy and disoriented, but hearing the call—compelled —he walked out.

Lazarus – a dead man walking.

We hear about death -it is in the news. It has been our companion especially in recent months-Egypt, Libya, Syria, a bombing in Israel, Iraq, Afghanistan, Japan, Haiti, friends, loved ones… Death stares at us when we read the newspaper, when we drive on our commute listening to the events of the day. We cry out to God, much like Mary and Martha did, “Lord, the one you love is sick. The world is sick. Lord we fear. Lord, we don’t understand. Lord, we need help and healing.”
We know that Jesus loves his friend Lazarus- and we know that Lazarus is ill- we are told this several times. Mary and Martha honestly speak their minds- they send word to Jesus- they reach out. .
We too cry out.

But most days our cries are not centered so much on death.
Most days we are more focused on survival. On getting through…on making ends meet.
We survive, we get through, we stay busy---existing-- but are we living?

We wait as Mary and Martha waited, hoping, wondering- Where is Jesus?
The themes of waiting and God’s timing are woven all throughout the Gospel of John. The cross constantly looming, Jesus always speaking about his time. Upon hearing the news of Lazarus- Jesus stays for two more days and then we read: “and then” ---- Then Jesus says “Let us go back to Judea.”

Jesus, even though away, knows what is happening. Even while not physically present with Lazarus, he knows that he has “fallen asleep.” Jesus is going to GO He is going to AWAKEN him.
When Jesus arrives, we are struck by another theme heavily entwined throughout the story—He comes and there are “many Jews” who had COME to Martha and Mary – they had come to “comfort them.” The Community is active and real and present and here with them.

“Lord, if you had been here, my brother wound not have died.” Martha says. If only you had been here? If you only you had answered me? If only…
But Martha doesn’t end with this…she continues, “But I know that even now God will give you whatever you ask.”

Jesus tells her, “Your brother will rise again.”

Martha knows this- Yes—“he will rise in the resurrection on the last day.”

She has a future hope, a promise, but that doesn’t help her NOW—right now- in this real and raw present moment. She does believe it, it does give some hope, but she can’t touch that or feel it- she can’t see it.
Jesus then reframes her understanding to the NOW- to the present—eternal life- resurrection is not just some distant future—it is now- for it is in him, “I am the resurrection and the life. Anyone who believes in me will live, even though they die; and whoever lives and believes in me will never die.”

Do you Believe this? Jesus asks her.

Martha says, “Yes, Lord, I believe that you are the Messiah, the Son of God, the one coming into the world.”

I am moved by her words.

Her belief is not some obscure, intangible, distant theological doctrine- her belief is in Jesus who is the Christ.

But I am struck--Why does Martha say he is “coming into the world?”

He is here now…. He is in front of her. He has come now- he is with her.

We know that Jesus is, and was, and is to come.

We know he is always seeking us and He is always coming to each of us and calling us to come to him! This too is what Martha knows and proclaims.

This is the constant activity of Christ.
He comes and calls you to come forth.

Martha goes to get Mary who is at the house surrounded by the community who have come to comfort and mourn with her. Mary comes and falls at Jesus’ feet. She weeps and the community has come with her also weeping.

And Jesus asks this crowd, “Where have you laid him?”
They say to him, “Come and See, Lord.”
And here—at this –the sight of all – taking it all in
Jesus wept.
The community reacts in two ways:
1) Some are moved- “How much he loved Lazarus!”
2) Others are angry, skeptical…He healed others- why couldn’t he have come and saved Lazarus.

Jesus comes to the tomb instructs the community—He says something most unexpected, “Take away the stone.”

What would you think? You’re standing at the tomb—you are weeping. You are sad. You are angry. You had hoped for a miracle and it never came.

I want you to think about who you are in the story.

Everyone is here now- Mary and Martha, the community who have gathered around them, some moved by Jesus, some angered by him, the disciples, Jesus, and a big stone that is over the cave entrance, and there is a dead man inside.

Martha speaks up- “But Lord, he stinks!”

Jesus said, “Did I not tell you if you believe, you will see the glory of God?”
“So- they took away the stone.”

The stone is rolled away and Jesus prays, “Father I thank you that you have heard me. I knew that you always hear me, I said this for the benefit of the people standing here, that they may believe that you sent me.”

Jesus acknowledges that God is present, always hearing, always knowing- always listening for our cries, our words, our needs.

Then Jesus calls out, “Lazarus, Come out!”

Jesus commands- and creates new life.
God is always sending Jesus to us.
His only Son, to come to us and to call us to come and follow him.

“Lazarus Come Out!”

The Dead Man came out----- The Dead man came walking out---
His hands and his feet are bound with strips of cloth and his face is wrapped in a cloth.

Jesus said to them, “Unbind him, and let him go.”
Even though he is awakened, Lazarus is still bound by signs and stench of death.
Lazarus has risen, he is resurrected but the community must come and unbind him.
Jesus has freed him from death, but still he needs to be released from its grip.

So -- Who are you? Where are you? What would we do?

Would you still be in the tomb? Would you rise and come out?
Are you one of those who have rolled away the stone?
Are you weeping Mary and Martha? Confronting and yet praising Christ?
Are you loosening the bindings?
Are you on the ground fallen down weeping?
Are you holding your nose? Gawking at this strange event?
Are you the dead man walking?

The community is called to come and be part of this resurrection- Unbind him! Jesus says.
Lazarus is alive, and yet still tangled still in burial clothes. He is living, yet not able to fully live.

Do you know what that is like?
Perhaps not dead----but not fully alive? Stumbling towards life…Surviving, breathing—and yet trapped up bound by old bondage, wrapped in past wreckage, stuck in old sin?
At some point we may be all of these people.
No matter how much we try to bind up the dead places, perfume the smell, or cover our deadness and dryness with stones and tombs—Somewhere, sometime, we are dead men walking- our faith has been lost, we have become weary, we have given up hope, we see only dried up bones, and no new breath of life seems possible.
Why does Martha say Jesus is coming?
Because he never stops coming to us. And He will never cease calling us to come forth.

We stink- we are bound- we hide buried in a tomb.
But still- Jesus calls each of us to come forth.

What tombs do you hide in?
What bindings do you need to be released from?
What stones do we need to roll away?
Who are the dead men walking around?

Lazarus heard the call—the call from Jesus—Jesus who is the life and the resurrection- Jesus is LIFE!

Awakened he came--- ready for a new life and yet still held in the bondage of the old….

Here Christ calls- he commands the community to be part of the redemptive and restorative work of his creation.

They come to the Dead Man Walking and they help release him.

Jesus said, “Unbind Him and Let him go.”
Where now will Lazarus go? What now will he do?
Can he go back to an everyday life when he has experienced new and eternal everlasting life?
What will the community now do?
Some undoubtedly celebrate after they have removed the funeral bindings.
Others flee to town telling the Pharisees and chief priests what had happened.

What about Mary and Martha?
They now understand life, death, and Jesus in a greater way. For Mary will anoint Jesus with perfume, preparing him for the cross.
Much changes now. The cross no longer looms in the distance.
Ironically, Lazarus’ empty tomb is now the entry way to Jesus on the cross crucified.
The chief priest and Pharisees gather, worried about what they will do. They say, “If we let him go on like this, everyone will believe in him, and the Romans will come and destroy both our holy places and our nation.” The high priest Caiaphas says, “You know nothing at all! You do not understand that it is better for you to have one man die for the people than to have the whole nation destroyed.” And Caiaphas did not say this on his own, but being high priest that year he prophesied that Jesus was about to die for the nation, and not for the nation only, but to gather into one the dispersed children of God. So from that day on they planned to put him to death.”(John 11: 50-53).

Jesus --no longer walked about openly- but goes now to Ephraim and remains there until Passover. He returns to his friends Mary, Martha, and Lazarus for a meal before Passover and Mary anoints and prepares him for death. Crowds of people will soon shout Hosanna and Crucify in a matter of days.
Lazarus’ life is different now.
He has come forth from death, for death as the Sanhedrin decide to pursue him.
They seek to also put him to death—because so many people are believing in Jesus because of him.

Mary and Martha had sent word to Jesus, “Lord, whom you love is ill.”
Jesus wept at the tomb of Lazarus as those around said, “See how he loved him.”
And Jesus loved him and called him forth and created new life rising up in him.
Lazarus also loved Jesus. Lazarus’ love for Christ is a real love with sacrifice.

Unbind him and Let him Go!

Go where?

To the cross with Christ.

A sacrifice that is willing to go with Christ.

To go with him to the very end.

Having Jesus at our tombs means that we must follow him to his.1

We practice dying when we are living in Christ.

We die to sin, to shame, to prejudices, opinions, stagnant ideas, dying to one old life and then another, ever striving toward new life. [And we] consciously practice rising from whatever tomb we’ve have holed ourselves up in lately. ”2

We practice dying…not because we are afraid of death but because we are called to Come forth into life! To witness to an eternal life that begins NOW. It is real and powerful- for it makes dry bones rattle, become flesh, and breathe, it makes what we think is impossible, what we have buried, come alive, come forth, out of the tomb, out of depths, out from the grave into a life in Christ!

We began our worship today singing, “And Are we Yet Alive?”
I ask us-- Are we?
Are we dead men walking?
Are we existing? Are we yet alive?
Christ has called us to come forth and live in Christ Jesus!

And when we come forth and live—we walk out to this community – a community that is here to unbind each other when we rise.

Christ awakens
We will unbind
And we will Go!
We will go to the cross.

As end our worship we sing “Are Ye Able”

Jesus asks us – are you able to be crucified with me? To die to sin and to live in me? No longer a dead man walking?

Let us stand and sing and say – as Paul says, “I have been crucified with Christ; “ it is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me " (Gal. 2:20).

Come Forth and live!
Thanks be to God! Amen!

Footnotes
1 Commentary on Gospel by Meda Stamper
2 Suzanne Guthrie

Images
First Image
THE RAISING OF LAZARUS
Duccio Di Buoninsegna

Second Image
The artist name is listed on the bottom, but I cannot make it out...

Third Image
"The Resurrection of Lazarus"
Giotto di Bondone (c1267-1337)
Scrovengi Chapel, Padua

Fourth Image
I do not know who or where this image is. If you find it and know the artist, please let me know. This is my favorite of the images because it reveals the intimacy of the community who comes to unbind him- you see the people up close.

Playing as Spiritual Practice

2011-03-28T19:34:00.000-07:00

Almost 9 years ago- my husband took me on the best vacation of my life- our honeymoon! When we arrived I started planning, thinking, scheduling-- what day should we do this or that, budget out our money for eating out, etc. There was so much to do- parasailing, kayaking, going to the beach. Kevin said, "Nope- we'll eat when we want to eat, sleep when we want to sleep, and play when we want to play." That is probably the first time I really really played and rested. Kevin has taught me how to rest and how to play!

But I don't know if anyone has taught me how to play better than my girls. My youngest especially! Sophia knows how to play! She has the most amazing imagination. Both of my girls do- but I realized that when Gracie was Sophia's age she was always instructing her little sister to play. "Sophia follow me" and "Sophia let's go do this." Gracie is often content to do her own thing and lead-but Sophia has no one to teach--except me and Daddy usually! And she does! She teaches me how to play!

Saturday Gracie napped as she recovered from her fever and Sophia and I played and played. Yesterday when we came home from church Gracie said she was going upstairs for a nap and Sophia said, "Mommy! Color with me!!" I wanted to just check on Grace and Sophia just screamed "No Mommy! Stay! Sit! Color!" After a brief meltdown where I checked on Grace and I came back- we began our coloring.

Sophia put a crayon in my hand and said- here Mommy you use this one. Draw a princess. Now draw a prince charming. She is coloring with me. She took a pink crayon and said, "Now the monster comes." and she draws a monster. Then there was a wolf, and a pig, and then a wicked witch, and then another prince and princess and I think some other characters too! She created a whole storyboard!

Here's a closer picture:

We then had to go hide Sophia said! Because a wolf was coming! (They love playing wolf and pigs and singing a song about the Big Bad Wolf that they learned at school!) She loves to hide behind the big chair in our living room and its a house! And then she brings everything and dumps it back there. I was directed to stay. I propped myself against the buffet and the wall and she covered me up and brought me pillows and we had a tea party, called Grandparents, sang our ABC's, and played and played.

Then all of a sudden Sophia said- Okay Mommy- You be a alligator and I'll be a dog- Now you're a pig and I'm a horse- I'm a princess annnnnnd you are now a monkey!
Hilarious!

Then Sophia said- Mommy let's go play with our dolls! We go upstairs and play with barbies, princesses, McD's toys, Shrek, stuffed animals, little people, and my little ponies, and one random dragon. All came together in a brilliant story Sophia orchestrated and directed me in. (Seriously- Toy Story got it right!)

Then it was time for dress up! She flung open the trunk and began pulling clothes out left and right until she found what she was looking for. She was determined and had a plan!

All along- Sophia taught me to play and dream and imagine. Playing is pure joy. Play is a spiritual practice- it opens us to discover to dream- to aspire. Not to have a plan-- not to figure everything out- not to schedule but to enjoy one moment at a time. I am so thankful that my wise Sophia and my sweet Grace pull me out my moments of thinking--- "but I really need to clean this or do this or go fold this laundry..." Sometimes what I really need to do is "Sit down Mommy!" and play!

Momma Love Power

2011-03-28T11:43:00.000-07:00

Thursday I ended up calling my doctor- thanks to the encouragement from a friend. I was coughing to much that I couldn't keep anything down and was most likely close to breaking a rib! So I called my Dr who sent me to a Pulmonery Specialist (Lung Specialist). My friend stayed with me through the day! Loaded me and my kids in the car and took me to the Dr. She entertained my kids and fed them at McDonald's while I saw the doctor. The Dr was awesome! She perscribed more steroids, another antibiotic, and gave me a samples and a script for more breathing treatments. She also gave me a spacer- it helps your inhaler do its job better. And she wants me to get an x-ray of my sinuses (which I have not yet had a chance to do). While I was getting the breathing treatment- I just laid down- it was the first time the pain lifted. My friend took me home, helped get my kids down, and offered to get my scripts for me! She is amazing. She brought me such peace on that day! I am so thankful for my friend being with me.

Friday the whole family rested- one child with a fever and Kevin not feeling great and I was doing the breathing treatments every 4 hours. But Kevin had to leave at 4 for the Confirmation Retreat- I had to get it together.

Some of my amazing co-workers brought us lunch and that became our dinner- sandwiches and soup from Panera! I got the kids down- and I rested too and kept doing my breathing treatments.

Saturday we had a lovely and easy day. I played with the girls, we rested and cuddled, and I kept on doing the breathing treatments. I managed to make food for us, to call and catch up with some folks, and even by the evening to do dishes and pick up the living room before going to bed.

All day Saturday I was sort of in awe of how I felt. I still had tightness and a coldness in my chest- I didn't quite still feel like a sumo wrestler was sitting on me - but I still felt pain and it lifted during the breathing treatments on the nebulizer. But the energy to do- to be awake and alert with the girls- I was shocked that I was mobile, breathing, alive, functioning! All I could think was God is so good! I am able to be their mom and see them play with play-doh and dress up, and take care of my four year old's fever!

It is healing work of God and it is healing work of medicine- but I think there is more to it too. I couldn't let this pain and illness keep me from loving them, taking care of them, playing with them, reading books to them (between my hacking cough). I had the energy- the will- the desire- to do this.

I think that there is power in Momma Love-- when your mom takes care of you there is healing power in that-- but there is more to Momma Love-- your love for your children as a mother is powerful- and it can heal them but also heal you! It was healing me- it was Holy Spirit filled Momma Love power.

I think Momma Love is quite biblical and has the power to heal and restore much. Julian of Norwhich talked of Jesus as Mother Jesus who gave us new birth on the cross-- Jesus says he longs to gather us a mother hen gathers her chicks. Jesus's mother love for us is healing for the world- healing, reconciling, restoring us to be in real and right relationship with God and with all the world.

My love for my girls holds power.

I've just finished reading Shayne Moore's book "Global Soccer Mom." You can learn more about Shayne here http://www.globalsoccermom.com/

She talks about her love as a mom hurting for the world and I feel that too. My love for my children is powerful and I connect that love with and all the other children of this world. I may not be their Mom, they may not have a mom and I may not be able to adopt them- but my love can do something- it can be healing- and it work in the healing love for living God's kingdom now. Christ is seeking to gather us - his little chicks- to be well.

What if all the moms in the world - we're busy- wiping bottoms and noses, making sure our kids eat enough vegetables, and brush their teeth- what if we also did something about the rest of the children of the world too. That's what Shayne talks about in her book.

I finished this book over this time I've been sick. Resting was like forcing myself to stop- so I stopped and I read. (I'm sure that someone will say I didn't really stop- but reading felt renewing and restoring too).

Our love has healing power. In these days I am feeling that very personally as I heal from this illness, but I realize too that my love for my girls does a lot more in me too. Let your love - especially your momma love have power- Shayne talks about how it has power to change the world.

Learning Wholeness

2011-03-16T19:43:00.000-07:00

I have not written in quite a while. I returned so full from our Holy Land trip- and I still am- I am filled with peace, with joy, with smiles and memories- and looking at pictures, reading my journal, I am back there. I even have an App on my phone that tells me the weather in Jerusalem! Part of me is still there... I've planted a part of my heart in the Holy Land and with the people there.

I have been ill since I've been back fighting off bronchitis and sinus infections. I pushed through and got exhausted and rested and pushed again and fever, headache, sinus pain slowed me down. I'm not good at resting. I feel like I should be able to take the medicine my Dr gives me and poof! be better. It seems that I have to learn this over and over again- that- this isn't quite how healing happens. I cannot keep doing and keeping a normal pace.

My husband is good at this or at least he is good at holding me accountable to this. I feel guilty when I rest- when I miss things- when I can't keep up my normal pace. I am a high energy person and I really can't stand when I can't keep up my regular pace. There are many people I haven't had a chance to catch up with since I returned, there are things I haven't had a chance to get done...I'll finally have energy and clean the whole house, do five loads of laundry and then I'm back to being exhausted. Kevin just looks at me and says- "You have to rest." Yesterday he said, "Hey- you promised to do this when you were ordained." I said, "How so?" "Well, he said, "you committed to self care too." It is really amazing and wonderful and even little frustrating... to have someone who holds you accountable. I need it and I am thankful- the frustrating part really is not being able to be as productive as I'd like. There's a lot to be done.... and I enjoy doing it too...

But I'm learning. Lent is a powerful time to be held accountable. I find that one of the things I have to learn is to slow down- to focus on Christ- and to be still. I do not do this naturally... or easily. But I have a best friend in my spouse who reminds me of this and teaches me. I can rely on him when I need to rest and there is no guilt and this is amazing. I especially felt guilty resting after being gone for 10 days on our trip- and now I'm back-- but not fully back like usual!

But this has also taught me- I'm more than what I do. There is more to me- to those I love than what I can do for them. Sure, they love my energy, and my doing-ness- but they love me first.

God loves us first- God is not satisfied with sacrifices and what we do-- Our actions are important and necessary- but there is more that God wants.
Psalm 51 says, "For you have no delight in sacrifice; if I were to give a burnt offering, you would not be pleased. The sacrifice acceptable to God is a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise."

I think sometimes I feel so filled with the joy of Christ that I think I can just go forever and not tire... and yet I do - I get really tired, I get exhausted, and I get sick-- these past two weeks- evidence.

I pray that in this Lenten season, I may learn to have my heart, my soul, my body, my whole self broken for Christ and healed by Christ, and made whole by Christ. That I may listen and be still for what it is God is calling. Let me then bring forth my energies, my sacrifices, all my service-- for then I will be filled and able to give more freely.

Holy Places, Holy People

2011-02-28T12:42:00.000-08:00

Today was truly amazing-- I feel like we have had several days in one. I am quite tired and we leave very early for Massada and the Dead Sea tomorrow-- but I just want to run through all we did:
Our AMAZING tour guide (and truly this is not an effective description of Mike- he is teacher/professor, preacher, evangelist, care taker, a very wise, generous man!) took us to the Dome of the Rock (which was not on our schedule- but he took us anyway! We left at 7:15 this morning!

The Dome of the Rock was incredible- so beautiful and I felt so honored to able to come and witness this place.
Right after the Dome of the Rock --my camera died (I was so tired last night that I forgot to charge my battery.... I laid in bed and thought about it...but I was just so tired [guess I was charging my own batteries instead!]

But really- in many ways- not having my camera liberated me- I no longer worried about documenting-- I found a few folks and asked if they would make sure to take pictures of our readers (at every place we read scripture and I want a picture of those who are reading for them and for our story too). I no longer felt like I had to remember to take pictures- I would just be in this holy place. And I could also focus on keeping our group together.

Keeping 44 people together walking through the Old CIty of Jerusalem is quite a feat!!! But we did it! Wow! Ralph and I have definitely become better shepherds and we now have a completely new perspective on the Parable of the Lost Sheet!

We went through the Lion's Gate, also called (Sheep Gate, Mary's Gate, St. Stephen's Gate, and I think there were some more) we were already inside the walls, but upon getting to the gate, Mike had us walk out so that we could see the lions on carved on the gate and see it fully before we walked around inside.

We went to the Pool of Bethesda where we read scripture (John 5: 1-9), had a devotion and then wondered into the Church of St. Anne's - It was here at the pool of Bethesda a man was lame and Jesus asked him "Do you want to be healed?" And he said yes- but he couldn't get to the pool- people would jump ahead of him, no one would help him down.... and Jesus said to him, "Get up , take you mat and walk." Jesus healed on the Sabbath and healed in a way this man was not expecting. His paradigm of healing shifted- his paradigm of life shifted.
St. Anne's is a beautiful church!!! It is not covered in mosaics or gold, or stain glass like some of the others- it is raw and pure and clean and beautiful with high amazing arches.. Here we sang. We sang the Doxology, we sang "Jesus Remember Me," and we sang "Hallelujah." I sat down and I prayed for those who God has healed-- praising God for all he has done-- I also thanked God for those who have gone home to him- who have been healed in a way I cannot fully understand. I prayed for my sister whom I had prayed to God for a miracle, I had prayed for healing and the Lord did heal her by making her whole and bringing her home- it was not the healing I wanted, but I know that she is with God and at complete peace and complete wholeness and healing. I praised God for healing my mother- who is a survivor and has been healed from so much illness in her life. I praised God for having her in my life. I prayed for healing and for wholeness in the brokenness I see and feel. I prayed for marriages that are hurting, for those in my church suffering, for those in all the world who seek healing. I just prayed and prayed and prayed and wept and praised and praised God. It was truly powerful-- I just sat to the side and prayed. No camera- no exploring- no pictures- just stopped and was still. I came outside and they asked if I had gone downstairs-- there was a downstairs? So I had a few minutes before our meet up time and saw downstairs-- beautiful down there- with powerful altars, icons, pictures, candles lit, prayers stuck in walls, prayer in the air being lifted to God.

We left from there and went to the 1st and 2nd Stations of the Cross- two churches there- the Chapel of Condemnation and the Chapel of Flaggellation. So very powerful- it was hear that we gathered in the 2nd station of the cross that we read scripture Mark 15 and then sang "The Old Rugged Cross" and "Amazing Grace." Here in this place you can literally see where the Roman soldiers were playing a game as they mocked Jesus- the game is carved into the stone. (Thankful for those with working cameras who got he shot- I'll add later).

We continued on the Via Dolorosa- the Way of Sorrows- through the Old City. Mike led us to a cafe where we rested- some of us had freshly squeezed pomegrante juice, orange juice, turkish and arabic coffee-- YUM! A great pick me up!

We continued through the Old City- walking through the souk- I wish I could give you the sounds, smells, sights of this! These are narrow passage ways- passing places that sell clothing, food, jewlery-- we saw everything for sale- this is where people shop. This is daily life for many.

We continued through to the Church of the Holy Sepulchre--Golgatha - the skull where Jesus was crucified. Inside the Church of the Holy Sepulchre are stations 11-14 - they are incredible. Here you can touch the stone that was known as the skull. There are many holy stones in the Holy Land- the stone where Jesus was born, John the Baptism born, the stone where Jesus died, the stone where they laid Jesus to be annointed- all so powerful. My dear husband had warned me of the frentic nature of the Church of the Holy Sepulchre- and I was prepared- but still amazed - amazed at all I saw- and amazed by all the pilgrims here. There are mosaics that over the walls, arches, and way high ceilings that are made of tiny stone/glass/ceramic-- amazing!!!

We exited the Church of the Holy Sepulchre and Mike gave each of us delicious seaseme bread! So so good- I could see the fire of the bakery as we stopped to take a breath and smell the the breads all baking! We climbed the bus and headed for the area of the Dead Sea. We love to be below sea level! Mike says that we get happy! You breathe better- it is lighter, and warmer, and wonderful! The Dead Sea is the lowest place on earth! We went to Qumran --where you can see the caves where the Dead Sea Scrolls were found. As you look over these caves behind you is the Dead Sea- behind that the Jordan Mountains where Moses would have stood looking over and where Joshua would have come over into the land of milk and honey. Here in this area was where John the Baptist was living and preaching. We saw an area at Qumran where they made date honey-- and we thought about how John the Baptism ate locusts and wild honey and thought he probably ate date honey! wow!

We then went to Jericho. Jericho is a beautiful city- filled with palms- and oasis. Jericho is a Palestinian City, walled/fenced where you go through a check point to go in. The people who live here cannot leave w/o a special permit which is quite difficult to attain. Here in Jericho is where Jesus came to the Mount of Temptation after he was baptized by John the Baptist- you can take a cable car to the top (we did not do this today-- perhaps this is for our next trip!) By now it was almost 2pm and we had lunch! A wonderful lunch! And people did a bit of shopping in the store- where you can purchase Hebron glass, the best olive oil I have every had in my life (truly truly amazing), and Dead Sea products... We then walked up to see Jericho and read about Zaccheaues and Joshua. We sang (with the help of Jan's kazoo!!!) "Joshua Fit the Battle of Jericho" and "Zacchaeus was a Wee Little Man" It was the day for children's songs!

As we came down the mountain there were lovely vendors selling poster panorama views of Jerusalem and Jericho for only $1 and I met a lovely man who also sells things--and we talked about America. He would like to go, but I said I would send him a postcard. So now I have his address and will send him this. He and I spoke for awhile about life in Jericho. I am overhwhelmed by the kindness, hopsitatliy, graciousness, and outpouring of grace of the people here. I literally felt most of this day that my heart would explode out of my chest. I cannot process the places I have been- but I cannot process the love of the people here-- it is more love- more hospitality from a people-- all people - than I have ever experienced. In every place you can meet pockets of people who are nice. But everywhere in Jericho and in Bethlehem especiallly-- the people were so so kind -- so happy to be with us. They were happy to sell their things- but they were happy to be with us- to ask about Virginia- about the States --to Bless us.

We crossed over the street where we met more vendors- drank juice (yum pomegranete) and rode camels! Yes- I rode a camel- everyone took a picture! It was so awesome! I have ridden a camel once before at a church near us at Christmas- this was nothing like that-- I think that camel I rode before must have been asleep or old.... Very funny when Ishmael (our bus driver) said "Go faster go faster-- 10 times!" I am on this camel and it feels like he is just all over the place--- I think I had my mouth open in laughter and amazement at the experience the whole time! My cheeks hurt from smiling today- my heart is so full...

We then saw the Spring of Elisha-- and we were able to go down and touch the water.

And then we were off to come back home to Jeruselum tonight.

We had dinner and then there was a lecture about Israeli and Palestinian Reconciliation- WOW- they had a Christian Palestinian man and an Jewish Israeli man speak and answer questions. This was quite enlightening and powerful.

This is the fourth of EO lectures-- Apparently there was one in Tiberius about Jesus' Ministry in the Galilee (but it was the night we arrived and at another hotel-so we missed that). Our first night here in Jeruselum there was a lecture on the geography of the the Holy Land. And last night there was a lecture on Jesus' Ministry here.

Today- I am filled-- I am filled with holy sites- with holy power from these sights falling afresh on me as I pray, sing, sit, watch... but today I am also filled by these holy people-- holy people who live in a holy place that struggles to be holy. The Lord says, "Be Holy" I am in awe of the people as much or more as I am in awe of this place.

Tonight and every night- my prayer is: Lord you are holy. Help us to be holy and make us holy and let us live in holiness and peace all our days so that we may fulfill your call for all your world. In the name Holy Jesus, the Prince of Peace, we praise you and thank you, Amen.

Praying

2011-02-26T13:29:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow we go to the Wailing Wall and we pray. We bring prayers with us. I will bring prayers for you- I bring prayers for you with me whoever you are- for all the world. I bring prayers for those who cannot sleep at night- for those who worry, for those who fear, for those who lie awake in desperation searching for answers and direction. I pray for you.
I pray for those who praise and sing, and shout of joy- for all who feel the joy, the love, the peace of Christ in their lives and refuse to let anyone shame them or steal from them this hope that is real.
Tomorrow I go and I pray for Mothers, and Fathers, and Children, and orphans, I pray for those who are alone in this world and those who feel overwhelmed.
I pray for the sick and the dying, I pray for healing and miracles, I pray for safety, for peace, for understanding, for love to abound.
Once my chaplain in college told me how monks rise at 2 in the morning wherever they are and pray for those who they do not know. He said this so we would know that when studying, when stressing out at 2 in the morning we would know- someone was praying for us.
I write names on for of people on these pieces of papers but I also write in space for you who I do not know throughout this world- I leave space- knowing that Christ fills the space - fills in the space with the holy -- fills in the spaces that we do not know - do not understand-- fill in the spaces of our lives with the holy-- so that we may be holy- the holy that will reach all and is with all- that already surrounds you who already knows your need.
I will call you by name- even when I do not know your name- I call you sister and brother and Jesus calls you beloved. And your name, your prayer, is written so that you may know I prayed for you tomorrow at the wailing wall.

Holy Ground

2011-02-26T12:58:00.000-08:00

There is so much to tell. Every day we go and we are standing on holy ground. Everything I see is a sight of awe and reverence for where I am and who God is and who I am supposed to be.

Today we went to the Holy City of Bethlehem. I cannot even sit here and write to you without tears and with out a thunder growing in my chest-- I literally can feel just awe in my heart...

Bethlehem is a paradox- as you stand in Shepherd's Field - you can imagine the angels and the shock- the awe- the holy holy holy moment the shepherds' experienced, you can feel the breezes that the shepherds would feel, touch the rocks, see the poppies, hear dogs barking as the dogs would have who herded the sheep..walk through the caves that were their homes- and across the way you see the separation wall and settlements, you see fence, barbed wire, division.

You walk in this Holy City where there is truly a spirit of Christmas, you meet lovely wonderful people - kind, generous people-- and you go through checkpoints seeing both Palestinian and Israeli soldiers carrying big guns...here in this place where wise men brought gifts.

I say none of this to be political-this is daily live here- and it is only that my heart is so full-- and yet strangely here in this place where so many may expect conflict-- I see peace.

I see the other too- yes it is here- yes there is division....but there is great unity too.

For Today in Bethlehem, a son is born- he is Emmanuel, God with us and he has been born for ALL the people.
All people come to the Church of the Nativity here in Bethlehem. It has never been destroyed as others were.... all who came and conquered here revered this place. As we stood in the church- you could see both Muslims and Christians coming to prayer in this holy place. I feel peace in my heart. These holy places, are not merely sites - no where we visit is it merely an archeological place, a historical place-- it is sacred space-a sight to behold and be filled with- and it seems to me that this sacredness, this holiness is filling me-- I feel as if I am soaking it in and up--- I will take it with me and yet there it is never ending.

So much of me is feeling like I want to stay here and simply listen more learn more be still here more. Already I know I must return - Today I kissed the rock where Jesus was born -- many places say, "Traditions says this is the place..." but here (as Mike said)-- "Here, there is no tradition, there is no doubt- this is where Jesus was born." This is why this place has not been touched... it is revered by all who come- no matter who conquers the land here-- this space is sacred and all revere it. I think it must be because this is the place where the Prince of Peace was born-- perhaps this peace-- this understanding, this reverence, will grow amongst all people-- that we also will come to see the image of God in each other- that we may come to listen more and tell less, that we may come to seek first understanding, rather than to be understood--That we may see awe and angels, where we once saw confusion and anger, that we may remember all who gathered: Shepherds, wise men, animals, and all -- all -- this child who was born for all people-- is bigger than all of us- is bigger than the mess we make and the conflicts we create---God is sovereign, God is real- God reigns. May this Holy City of Bethlehem and all of Israel allow the Holy Child of Bethlehem to descend on us we pray, cast out our sin and enter in be born in us today!

Wow

2011-02-25T12:44:00.000-08:00

I am so glad to finally have a chance to get online and share a bit about our trip! Its quite late, so I may not be on long... Finally I have internet working- so I had to take the opportunity!

We arrived in Tel Aviv on Wednesday, February 23 in the afternoon at 2:30 pm-- it was 7:30 back home. We drove from Tel Aviv to Tiberius. Our wonderful tour guide is Mike- he is absolutely amazing!!! We are the "Wow bus" we have lots of fun- he encourages us to say "wow!" and believe me -- we do!!! Wow- We are in Awe of what God has done! What God is doing! And what God continues to do here! How powerful to walk in these places where Jesus walked! Wow!

We arrived at our hotel, had dinner, unpacked and went to bed. By the time we got to the hotel- it was noon back home-- a full 24 hrs after we began our travel we arrived at our destination.

Tiberius is located on the Sea of Galilee-- it is absolutely beautiful here!

We left at 7:30am Thursday morning and took a boat ride across the Sea of Galilee. The Sea of Galilee is a very big "lake" but you can see how it is like a sea- it is far across to the other side, quite hazy, and the wind and weather can change easily. Quick changes in weather are common- b/c it is 685 feet below seal level. This day was relatively calm and peaceful. The boat stopped and I read from the Gospel of Matthew 8:23-27 and preached on the Sea of Galilee! Wow!

Then we sang together, "Here I am Lord!" How powerful to sing this song- How powerful because here in the Galilee was where Jesus called his disciples and they answered the call-- and we too say, "Here I am" and answer the call to follow! This day was so powerful - especially b/c originally this was to be our itinerary for Friday- but we switched b/c the it is an easier day jet lagged and our last stop was the Jordan River (and the Baptismal site closes early on Friday) so Thursday was better. But Thursday was better b/c we started our journey that day- and here was where the disciples started their journey- at his baptism was where Jesus started his ministry.

As we stepped off the boat we went to see the Jesus Boat- which is a boat that was found in the Sea of Galilee when there was a drought. This boat is 2000 years old and is - or like the boat that Jesus and his disciples would have sailed on.

We then hopped on the bus to the Mount of Beatitudes. Wow! So beautiful! It is so fertile here- orange trees, bananna trees, mango, such green and lush- even in a drought they have- you'd never believe how beautiful the land is! Wild flowers scatter the hills- yellow flowers and red poppies. Matthew 5: 1-19

We then went to the Tagba -the Church of the Loaves and Fishes where Jesus fed the 5000!
Each place we went Mike shared so much with us and painted a picture- it was as if we were there and then just as he had us on the tip of our toes convinced we were there - he would lead us right into the place where the scripture was read. At every place I had someone read scripture. Here we read from John 6: 1-15

Off then to the Church of Peter's Primacy - "Do you love me?" Jesus asked Peter and he said, "Feed my Sheep." Here we could walk down and put our feet, our hands, into the Sea of Galilee- here we could pray and place our prayer into this holy rock. John 21: 15-19

Next we went to Capernaum - this was amazing! Capernaum is called the hometown of Jesus- (But wasn't Jesus from Nazareth? you ask?- yes- but they rejected him). Capernaum was where Jesus spent most of his time. This is where he stayed. This is where the disciples stayed with Peter's mother in law. There was so so much here! Here we read John 6: 30-33, 47-51, 59-- Jesus is the Bread of Heaven-- (we read this b/c on the doorway to the synagogue here God's provision was memorialzed by a carved manna pot-- remembering God's miracle of daily supply-- and excavations at Capernaum have unearthed such a manna pot. Jesus is the bread of heaven - He supplies a gift that lasts forever.

We then ate in a kibbotz (I'm totally spelling this wrong) and many of us ate St. Peter's fish.

And then we were off to the Jordan River to remember our baptism! Wow! This was amazing! Ralph and I waded into the water and together we all remembered our baptism and were thankful! We renewed our covenant with God, reaffirmed our faith, and remembered our baptism! Ralph and I splashed the group as we remembered our baptism and we all felt the spirit fall afresh on us! A few brave folks sang "Wade in the Water" together!

Today- Friday - was amazing!
We went to Megiddo, Caesaarea by the Sea, the Church of the Annuciation, and Cana.
There is so much to tell...
Highlights: From Megiddo we could see Samaria looking one way and Mt. Carmel looking the other.
Caessarea was unbelieveabe! The Mediterranean Sea is just astounding!
Ampitheatre- here we sang together "Rock of Ages"
so much more!

The Church of the Annuciation left me speechless as I was in awe of Mary and in awe of Jesus coming back here to Nazareth to preach and be rejected. I had no words and only tears. Perhaps it is the connection I feel with Mary as a mother-- and also a woman in ministry- one who was called and with such boldness, such courage.... We heard the scripture read from Luke 1 and sang the first and last verses of the Summons-- I asked the group, "Can you say along with Mary, "I am the Lord's servant and I am willing to do whatever he wants." God summons us - Let us follow-- and we sang together... My tears came long before as Mike spoke of Jesus returning to Nazareth after his baptism and preaching.... upon entering the church he asked me if I was okay- and I could only shake my head- so filled, so in awe- so unable to speak. There are not words for the power of this place. Here in this place I thanked God for the privilege of calling me to motherhood and ministry- for bringing Jesus into the world and for Mary who answered the call. I prayed for my friends who are expecting- for their journey as mothers and for their children.

We then went to Cana - the place of Jesus' first miracle. Those who were here with their spouses came and renewed their vows- those of us w/o our spouses renewed our vows as well (only our spouses were not with us :(
As Mike spoke to us about this holy place he said, "Why did they run out of wine?" Because Jesus was there and people came to see Jesus! More people had come because Jesus was there. For some reason that had never really dawned on me why they ran out...just that they did. People heard that Jesus was coming to this wedding- this Jesus they had heard of - and so they came to see what all of this was about. And here the people saw and believed!

As we left Cana- Mike ran into a bakery and bought us all baklava! Wow! So so good!

Pictures to come!!! Perhaps when I am not so tired... all I can say is that I am constantly in awe- always taking a breath of the spirit breathing in- which reveals ever so much more of my faith to me in this holy place. Wow-- God is awesome!

Pilgrimage - In Christ's Hands I go

2011-02-22T04:29:00.000-08:00

Today I leave for the Holy Land. I go with 30 other pilgrims mostly all from my church. The lead pastor of our church Ralph Rowley and I are hosting this trip led by Educational Opportunities and I am packed and I am ready.

There is such anxiety with packing because you begin to worry that you are leaving something behind.... I am leaving behind my very best friend, my soul mate - my husband and my two girls-- (the longest [10 days] that I have been away from them). But I know- in a very deep and a very real way that they are going with me. Yes- I know that is very hallmark and something everyone says- but I actually can feel them with me as I go. I cannot really explain it other to say that- the other night my husband came home from leading UMYF and I was bathing the girls.

Gracie started to sing, "He's got the Whole World In His Hands" right before he got home-- they sang that in Sunday School- and Sophia and I joined along. Kevin came in the bathroom and sat next to us- and there in the bathroom we all sang together. As I walk the Via Delarosa to Calvary I will feel that in an intensely real way. He has the whole world in his hands. He came into the world to save the whole world and saved us on the cross. I am in his hands, you are in his hands...

When I pray- I will hear the voices of my children when they say their prayers. When I go and pray I take with me prayers of those who are joined to me in this great faith- those who are a part of me because we are sisters and brothers in Christ.

I will pray at the Church of the Annuciation, and at Bethlehem, remembering how Christ came into the world and lifting up those I know who are pregnant, about to, or recently had children- my dear friends who live and walk now as mothers, and I will pray for them as I feel the joy Mary felt.

I will pray at the pool of Bethseda remembering those I know who have experienced healing and will pray for those who seek healing.

I will pray at the wailing wall and I will learn about prayer more deeply.

I will pray in the garden of the Gethsemene remembering Christ prayer- seeking to stay awake and aware of His presence in my life and I will pray at the Garden tomb remembering that He is not there- for He is risen!

I will remember those whose generosity has made it possible for me to be on this pilgrim journey. Those saints who have gone before me- the church where I was baptized- where this journey began, the people who have inspired and enriched my faith, the church where I serve now- where Joy is ever visible, truly present, and reverberates in and through all who are there. It is the joy of Jesus Christ that fills me and will sustain me as I continue this journey- held in the hands of Christ journeying closer to the heart of Christ.

Pray for our Pilgrim Journey

2011-02-09T14:14:00.000-08:00

Almighty and sovereign God of the guiding star and of the bush that blazes, You call us to follow, you ignite us with relentless grace and yet, too often we resist. You calm us over turbulent seas, and you nourish us with bread for the journey. You guide us through deep valleys and mountaintops. We confess that too often we see only what we want and we chase after fleeting happiness. Give us eyes to see, ears to listen, feet to move, arms to embrace your call, hands to reach out, and lives that flourish. Make us pilgrims Lord, who find our home in you. In the name of our Savior, Amen.

Justice and Identities: Thoughts after a Great Disciple Bible Study

2011-02-09T09:15:00.000-08:00

What does it mean to be a good Christian?

What does it mean to be a good American?

Can you be both?

Are they the same?

Are they different?

These are wonderful and hard questions.

They came up in a great discussion in my Disciple class last night.

We talked about the book of Daniel. We talked about justice.

What makes us work for justice? How do we know something is just? When something hits us hard and we say, “That’s not right?” Why do we say that? How do we know that?

Where in us do we make that call?

A very wonderful and wise man in class was bold enough to ask hard questions last night. One question he said was, “But when we stand up for justice – is it always because Jesus has called us to?”

I said- and way too quickly reacting. Usually I’m better at waiting, leading, asking questions. Last night in bed I couldn’t stop thinking about how I wished I had silenced myself more in class…. (I had a long and hard day and I was tired, hungry—but I wished I had done a better job.)

I quickly said, “I am. When I work for justice it comes out of my faith and out of my belief that Jesus is leading me.” Yes that is true for me—but I worried that it sounded like I have it all together- which I don’t. I worried it sounded as if I always do what Jesus call me to do – which I don’t.

I spent some time dissecting a recent issue that I felt was a justice issue—I felt angry about it and felt it was wrong. But why? Where in me said “This is wrong!” Where did I get that? Who put it there?

And to be completely honest with you—I can’t put my finger on it exactly. There were a number of reasons I thought it was wrong—but none were stand out search light shining—this is it. But they did all hit me from a faith place. As I went deeper and deeper- I’m angry because of this—why? – Well – because I believe…. That’s how it went. Why do I believe this? Ultimately came from my faith in Jesus Christ.

I am also sure that others who also have a faith in Jesus Christ may come to a different conclusion on justice issues than I do – also guided by their faith—so where does this leave us?

How do we go forward?

Where do we gain traction in decisions? How do we have unity? Where can we agree?

But there are also other justice issues- that I’m realizing probably do not come out of my rootedness in Christ. I am realizing this as I write and process. I may not always know what is just strictly from my faith… For instance- I believe that democracy is a good thing, that freedom of religion is a good thing. Why do I believe that? Does that come out of my faith? I think it comes out of my being raised as an American.

I believe that respect and tolerance are important. I do not think everyone must think and believe like me. Where does that come from? Is it because I am an American? Is it because I follow the Golden Rule to “do unto others as I would have them do unto me”? Is it both?

And yet I do also believe that Jesus is the way, the truth, and the light and that he is the way to the Father. I preach good news because I am called to make disciples. I have a hope that people will come to believe in Jesus Christ and that I can be part of leading them to know Him and accept salvation. And yet- if someone does not believe I do not attempt to force them to agree with me. I am respectful. I am tolerant that we are different and yet, I do not accept that they are right.

Does it even matter where my reason for thinking about justice comes from?
I think it does. I think that that awareness is very important.

I think that when people stand up and say they are doing something because God has called them to—it carries a different weight.

Sometimes I wonder if they truly are being called by God or if they are manipulating a “God-Message” for their own self-interest. Sometimes I question their theological and exegetical integrity for the way some may “proof-text” their way to proving God is calling them.

Who am I and what is my identity?

I am a Christian.

I am an American.

What do they mean together and separately?

What responsibility do I have in these identities?

I am so thankful to my class for teaching me. For forcing me to evaluate my own motives, my own reasons for justice, belief, faith... I am thankful for the ability God has given me to be with others who challenge me to grow. Thank you God for my Disciple Bible Study!

Also-- I am definitely taking up the suggestion to read "American Grace: How Religion Divides and Unites Us" now! If you have suggestions and/or discussion- I welcome it!

Redeeming My Time

2011-01-31T07:08:00.000-08:00

I preached this last week-- Our Sr. Pastor became ill with the stomach flu, so I was able to step in and preach in this sermon series. Thankfully he is much better now!

Sermon Series “The Me I Want to Be”
Week 3 “Redeeming My Time”
January 23, 2010
Rev. Elizabeth S. Anderson

Ephesians 5: 15-20

NKJV
“See then that you walk circumspectly, not as fools but as wise, redeeming the time, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be unwise, but understand what the will of the Lord is. And do not be drunk with wine, in which is debauchery; but be filled with the Spirit, speaking to one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord, giving thanks always for all things to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.”

I love Ephesians- because it is filled with practicality. Paul is not just sharing some nice, pat answers, this is not just a good idea—this how you should live—this is about a practical divinity in your life—this isn’t theology for the sake of heady theology- this is about right living- allowing God’s word and God’s presence to make a difference in your life—its about living into the me God wants you to be—the very best me you can be….

The Greek word used here for redeem is “ex-a-gor-ATZ-o" (I wrote it this way to help me say it better!)
Ex-a-gor- ATZ- o is a marketplace term. When you redeem someone from slavery, as Christ redeemed us, you are purchasing them – purchasing them out of their slavery. You are paying the price to take them out of a bad situation.

We are to take back- time—take it-- out of the hands of the evil days.

The word for time being used here is karios, which means time- but not just any time kind of
time. Karios isn’t about minutes and seconds and wristwatches and sundials (that would be
chronos.) It’s not about the flow of time or a specific measurement of time—rather kairos is about being in the flow of the Spirit --- a right time- an opportune time- pre-determined time.

It’s about being in- aware, open, intentional, to God’s presence in time.

Karios is a time prepared for, directed by, and appointed for you by God.

Redeeming the time, you are purchasing out of slavery the fleeting opportunities that you are
presented with. In other words, you “make the most of every opportunity” or “make the most of
your time”

But as I read through this text, I couldn’t help but wonder—why didn’t Paul say, utilize your time, or seize the day!—why was it this imagery of purchasing from slavery?

The why is found in the because – “the days are evil.” Paul looked around and saw evil times—Impurity, covetousness, idolatry—we look around and see this too- we see resentment, anxiety, greed, superiority - we see horror, we feel shame, we experience insatiable desires… The days, the time is not evil- rather it is all that seeks to steal time and turn it into anything other than God’s glory.

Picture a tug-of-war where opportunity (kairos) is in the middle, and we’re pulling one way while the evil of the days are pulling the other way.

US-------------------------------------------Karios------------------------- Evil

But you see—That’s not what’s happening here.

Opportunity to make the most of your time- Karios- is not in the middle. It is not the in neutral ground – it’s in hostile territory.

US-------------------------------------------------------------------Karios--Evil

Because of the evil in these days, the opportunities we have to do good and to bring glory to God are already on auto-pilot and on a course to be swallowed up by busyness and our worldly mindsets.

So pervasive is this evil that our opportunities to do good (our kairos) are slipping away—they will be consumed by darkness unless we act.

Can you sense the urgency here?

A rescue needs to take place—it’s us—our time—it needs to be rescued – to be redeemed.

We can “go with the flow” of busy culture and time- chronos- or we can “be in the flow of the Holy Spirit.”

What is the evil of your days?
Where and what does your time need to be redeemed from?

Maybe you heard the news this week that DC traffic has won the award as being the worst in the nation. Perhaps you have not attempted to total the number of hours wasted/ lost in traffic, but the Texas Transportation Institute has, and the number isn't pretty. According to a recent study, people in the Washington area spend 70 hours a year sitting in traffic -- that's nearly three days!

Perhaps you have purchased time saving devices- as an attempt to redeem your time. And yet,
our smart phones sometimes seem to chain us to more work and give us less time with the ones we love.

OUR TEXT “Be very careful then, how you live---See then that you walk circumspectly (exactly, with accuracy and awareness), not as fools but as wise, redeeming the time---making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil.”

Walk intentionally—live in the flow of the Spirit—for “When the Spirit flows in you, you are giving power to become the you God designed.”

Paul says, “Therefore do not be unwise, but understand what the will of the Lord
is.”(Ephesians5:17).

How do we do what Paul has exhorted us to do?

We understand the will of the Lord through prayer.

Prayer
1 Thessalonians 5:17 Paul tells us about time and prayer-- we are to, “Prayer without ceasing.”
Whenever most of us hear that- what do we think?
Impossible, how, etc…
—we always feel guilty…

When someone says, “How is your prayer life?” How do you know? How do you answer?
How to you measure the effectiveness Prayer?
Is it how long you pray- how often- how many hours- how many answered prayers?

You know, if you believe in God, you have already begun to pray—because believing in God means believing he is always present, always listening to what you say. If you even think that there is a God- if you even breathe a hope of “Help me” or “I’m scared” or “I need to know I’m not alone” you are praying—and you already know God is with you.

That’s faith. It is believing and knowing. It is assurance.

Prayer isn’t about measured time and statistics, rather “the goal of prayer is to live all of my life and speak all of my words in the joyful awareness and presence of God.”

In the flow of redeemed karios time – God opportune time-- we have a constant understanding of
the constancy of God’s presence.

This is what Paul means when he wants us to “to be filled with the Spirit speaking to one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs” (Ephesians 15: 18-19). That’s how we are to act—and speak- and live.

Temptation

So why aren’t we in this flow of prayer? Why are we not always aware of the presence of God?
If our time needs to be redeemed, it means that somehow we are pulled out of the flow of the Spirit…by something else.

Have you ever been fishing?
I used to sit on bridge down the hill from our farm and fish with my Dad.
If you want to fish= you have to think like a fish. To a fish- life is all about the maximum gratification of appetite at the minimum expenditure of energy—so, to a fish, life is “see a fly, want a fly, eat a fly.”

A fish only thinks about what he want wants in that moment. The fly… The fly—pulls the fish in that moment to focus on nothing else but the fly—who notices the hook? Nope- fish sees fly- fish goes after fly—oops- there was a hook…

What are we tempted to do- what are we tempted to go after in this moment are the next? We stray from a flow of listening in and being in the flow of the Spirit and we chose the flow we want- whatever will quench our current desire.

“Temptation seems to promise us that we can be free if we only give in to our appetites—“see a fly, want a fly, eat a fly” Temptation promises freedom, but it makes us a slave. There’s always a hook. Real freedom is not the external freedom to gratify every appetite, it is the internal freedom not to be enslaved by our appetite.”

Our soul seeks satisfaction—that is what we were made for “soul satisfaction.” If we do not find soul satisfaction in God, we will look for it somewhere else… because we will look for it…
And we’ll cling to it and let our lives get wrapped in it…. but it will not last and it will rob us and enslave us.

Augustine of Hippo wrote in the 4th century, “Thou hast made us for thyself, O Lord, and our hearts are restless until they find rest in thee.”(UMH 423) This is what Paul is speaking about when he says in our text that we should be “singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord.”

Later, a Christian Missionary in India by the name of Sundar Singh wrote, “In comparison with this big world, the human heart is only a small thing. Though the world is so large, it is utterly unable to satisfy this tiny heart.
The ever-growing soul and its capacity can be satisfied only in the infinite God. As water is restless until it reaches its level, so the soul has not peace until it rests in God.” (UMH 423)

There is a reason, the Devil is often called Tempter—tempting you, luring you to think you’vefound the cure, a false sense of peace, the end all and be all to what you want. But the devil isalso called the Accuser- because once you’ve given in—once you’ve swallowed that hook-- he’lltry to convince you that you’re too far gone—that you’re beyond redemption.

Yet this is never the case.

Recognize Your Primary Flow-Blocker
What is keeping you from knowing that?

What’s blocking us from experiencing life in the flow of the Spirit? Greek mythology….and of course comic books have taught us about the nemesis—that person who is your mortal enemy. Your nemesis is like you in almost every way, except that he is the ruined version of you. You are your own nemesis, your own biggest problem, because there is a relationship between the best version of you and the worst version of you.

What they have in common is that both of them are you.

For example- someone who is spontaneous is great at going with the flow and adapt—but they may also be prone to struggle with impulse control, gambling, addition, etc.

When we recognize what is blocking us from being in the flow of the Spirit, we can redeem our time and live in the karios time God has designed for us.

Jumping back in the flow

Psalm 90 says, Lord, “Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.”
Teach us to number the days—teach us accountability, awareness, - teach us to
listen – and be wise—to hear and take action!

We are to examine our soul and examine our days.

How is it with your soul?

I want you to turn to your neighbor and ask them--
How is with your soul?

What do you feel like saying?
It’s really hard isn’t it..
You may think… “I’m good—let’s move on…”

But its worth doing- We cannot do it alone--- “Trying to tell the truth about myself- is like trying to see the inside of my own eyeballs.”

“Who can discern their own errors? Forgive my hidden faults,” the psalmists asks of God in Psalm 19. We cannot always see it for ourselves.

Late, in the middle of the night there was a loud beeping sound, John’s wife elbowed him in the ribs and said, “What’s that sound?” He played dumb at first and did not acknowledge it—“What sound?” But he had to say it so loudly to speak over the thundering beeping. So he gets up and checks it out and comes back to bed. She asks, “What was it?” “The smoke detector,” he says. “Why did it stop?” “I took out the battery,” he says. //They had a discussion about this and he said, “Look there’s no smoke, there’s no heat—it was just a battery malfunction….go back to bed.” The next day he left early to go to a breakfast meeting and about a half-hour into his meeting- the server asked if he was John Ortberg—yes he said== “Your wife called, she’s asked that you come home. She said the house is on fire.”

It turned out that a few delinquent birds had settled in and built a nest inside the chimney casing.

It eventually began smoldering and set off that strange loud beeping noise they had heard the night before.

Because nothing was done—a fire started behind the wall and did unbelievable damage.

You see, we need help to examine and determine the loud beeping in our lives.
We need detectors in and around us.
We need mutual accountability, we need to give ourselves permission to be honest with ourselves, and we need to allow the Spirit to examine us and listen to what we hear.

In the new movie “Tron”, Jeff Bridges character often says, “I’m going to go knock on the sky and listen to the sound.”

Sometimes we knock and then put in the ear plugs.
Or we’ll talk really loud and say, “What sound? What beeping?”

When you become convinced and convicted of the loud beeping sound –when you listen and are ready to do something about it- know that you can be redeemed!

Life can be different---things can change.

You’ve heard the beeping- you know where the sin is- you
know what is wrong—the way to experience the redemption comes through repentance.

Some people think repentance means beating themselves up—Repentance is not low self-esteem.

Low self-esteem causes me to believe that my response doesn’t even matter.

With repentance, though, I understand that being worth so much to God is why my response is so important.

You’re worth so much to God- God created you, made you, God has redeemed
you- purchased you at a great price- brought you and bought you from sin.

The evil in this world—the days that are evil as Paul has said--- the days seek tempt you, pull you, block you from experiencing time as God desires--- they tell you that you don’t matter, that you can’t change, that your time is wasted and gone—but Christ says otherwise.

Christ says that change is possible, that redemption is real- that all the
chains that bind us,
all the debts that frighten us,
all the shame that hides us
—can and will be wiped away.

There is a you, God is wanting to claim!

This is the time God has appointed for you—a time such as this—a kairos time-- a time of living, being, breathing in God space-God time- God created opportunities for you.

The time is here for you to claim, to redeem, to take back – out of enslavement –release yourself from all that tempts you and experience true freedom— buy back every possible moment out of the hands of sin, and cast out all that blocks you from God.

Christ says no longer will you be enslaved by the evil days—Redeem this time—- Rescue your time—Do not be hooked by temptation—and swallowed by sin-- stay awake, be aware, Redeem your days from evil and flourish in the flow of the Holy Spirit!

Thanks be to God! Amen.

For Some reason- footnotes didn't copy throughout sermon...but here they are for the sake transparency:
Greek and Translation Here: http://www.scripture4all.org/OnlineInterlinear/NTpdf/eph5.pdf

Loren Pinilis- Great article
Posted by Loren Pinilis on December 17, 2010 Posted in: Foundational
http://www.lifeofasteward.com/redeeming-the-time-a-closer-look/#comment-76

Orbert lists these as R.A.G.S. (resentment, anxiety, greet, superiority) on page 161 and gives a helpful checklist

Pinilis
http://www.nbcwashington.com/news/local-beat/DCs-Time-Spent-in-Traffic-Worst-in-Nation-114278889.html

Ortberg – 40
In Ortberg’s “Part Four “Redeeming my Time” he lists four chapters, the first being Chapter 11 “Let your Talking Flow into Praying”

Ortberg- 132
Ortberg- 134

In Ortberg’s “Part Four “Redeeming my Time” he lists four chapters, the second being Chapter 12 “Temptation: How Not to Get Hooked”
Ortberg 137
Ibid.
Ortberg, 141

In Ortberg’s “Part Four “Redeeming my Time” he lists four chapters, the third being Chapter 13 “Recognize Your Primary Flow-Blocker”
In Ortberg’s “Part Four “Redeeming my Time” he lists four chapters, the fourth being Chapter 14 “When you Find Yourself Out of the Flow, Jump Back In”
Ortberg, 159
Psalm 19:12
Ortberg 165

Bringing our Best

2011-01-31T07:06:00.000-08:00

A few have asked for this- this is my sermon from December 26, 2010
We had four baptisms on this day- and I chose not to preach on the Slaughter of the Innocents...

Bringing our Best
Jesus Presented in the Temple
Luke 2: 22- 40
22 When the time came for the purification rites required by the Law of Moses, Joseph and Mary took him to Jerusalem to present him to the Lord 23 (as it is written in the Law of the Lord, “Every firstborn male is to be consecrated to the Lord”[a]), 24 and to offer a sacrifice in keeping with what is said in the Law of the Lord: “a pair of doves or two young pigeons.”[b]
25 Now there was a man in Jerusalem called Simeon, who was righteous and devout. He was waiting for the consolation of Israel, and the Holy Spirit was on him. 26 It had been revealed to him by the Holy Spirit that he would not die before he had seen the Lord’s Messiah. 27 Moved by the Spirit, he went into the temple courts. When the parents brought in the child Jesus to do for him what the custom of the Law required, 28 Simeon took him in his arms and praised God, saying:
29 “Sovereign Lord, as you have promised,
you may now dismiss[c] your servant in peace.
30 For my eyes have seen your salvation,
31 which you have prepared in the sight of all nations:
32 a light for revelation to the Gentiles,
and the glory of your people Israel.”
33 The child’s father and mother marveled at what was said about him. 34 Then Simeon blessed them and said to Mary, his mother: “This child is destined to cause the falling and rising of many in Israel, and to be a sign that will be spoken against, 35 so that the thoughts of many hearts will be revealed. And a sword will pierce your own soul too.”
36 There was also a prophet, Anna, the daughter of Phanuel (Fan-oo-el), of the tribe of Asher. She was very old; she had lived with her husband seven years after her marriage, 37 and then had been a widow for eighty-four years.[d] She never left the temple but worshiped night and day, fasting and praying. 38 Coming up to them at that very moment, she gave thanks to God and spoke about the child to all who were looking forward to the redemption of Jerusalem.
39 When Joseph and Mary had done everything required by the Law of the Lord, they returned to Galilee to their own town of Nazareth. 40 And the child grew and became strong; he was filled with wisdom, and the grace of God was on him.

Merry Christmas!
We have just celebrated the birth of our Savior!
For weeks we have anticipated Christmas morning!
We put up our lights, tree, prepared our hearts, and prepared presents for loved ones! We have sung carols, lit candles, raised them high, We have come to worship Christ the new born king!
Yesterday we woke up, we came and gathered around a tree, and opened gifts, we gathered around a table and stuffed ourselves on good food and fellowship, and today we come—still perhaps reverberating from the joy and festivities!
We haven’t even made it to boxing day, the thrill and excitement of Christmas morning may still be with us…but soon as the tree begins to dry, and pine needles fall, as the strewn pieces of wrapping paper are picked up and thrown out, and the newness our gifts wanes… as the decorations are put away, we’ll start to wonder…. Now what do we do?

Bringing Home Baby—Now What?
Mary and Joseph had some guidance as what to do with and for their newborn son Jesus.
They bring Jesus, to the temple following the Law laid out in Leviticus that on the eighth day sons will be circumcised. Circumcision is a sign of righteousness and a seal of the covenant Jews have with the Lord. Mary and Joseph are bringing the very best they have in this world- and placing him before God, before the temple, before the Law. Coming to the temple, Mary and Joseph have set Jesus on the journey of his faith. These are the ordinary milestones parents honor for their children—circumcision, naming, and presentation, but some extraordinary things happen too—there are prophetic responses from Simeon and Anna.
For those of you who are parents, there comes a moment when you are home from the hospital with your beautiful bundle of joy….
You have had weeks of preparation—busy nervous, joyful energy, you’ve nested and prepared-----You’ve had the baby showers, the nursery has been decorated, and now you’ve had the baby—
All those new clothes you had washed, dried, and folded neatly are now thrown in the laundry room—you go through four onesies a day, you are so tired you do not remember more than 20 minutes of consecutive sleep, if it wasn’t for good friends and church members bringing food you would forget to eat or be eating cereal or pizza all the time…. You have been going through the ordinary things parents go through each day with a newborn…

Eventually you’re in the middle of the night one night—you’re as tired as you have ever been- your baby is actually asleep and while your body may scream, “Sleep! —You do not even wonder, “Now What?” You know what to do—you just stare at this child in wonder.
How did this beautiful being come into this world? Wow! All you can think is wow! Of everything you have ever done… this is the very best!

You pray, you cry, you watch—its as if you can hear God whisper in that still small moment—you watch this little face, you listen at these breaths, until your eyes can no longer stay open…
A moment of extraordinary has happened in the midst of this new normal- ordinary life…
Names
In the moment that Mary and Joseph bring their child to the temple- a vast place, comprising of some thirty-five acres of buildings and open courts-the Law and the Holy Spirit work together to create an extraordinary moment. Luke tells us, “when the parents brought in the child Jesus, to do for him what was customary under the law, Simeon took him in his arms and praised God.”
Simeon identified who Jesus was, “a light for revelation to the Gentiles and for glory to your people Israel.” Simeon grounds this identification in words from Isaiah’s vision of Israel’s restoration- a restoration that would include the Gentiles. The prophetess Anna has complete devotion to God—she comes and sees him and begins to praise God and speak about how he is the one who will provide the redemption they were seeking.
Before Christ was born an angel of the Lord told Mary to call him Jesus, an angel told Joseph they would name him Emmanuel, meaning God with us. Simeon and Anna also named Jesus that day—they identified who he was and what he would become. The prophets had names for the Messiah who was to come, “Wonderful, Counselor, the Mighty God, the Everlasting Father, the Prince of Peace” The scribes and Pharisees would call him a Blaphemer, a liar, and a heretic. The Lepers, blind, and demon possessed would call him healer, miracle worker. His disciples would call him Rabbi, Teacher, and Friend. Upon his death he would be mockingly called “The King of the Jews.” A Roman centurion who watched his crucifixion would come to believe and call him God’s Son! On a road to Emmaus his disciples would see him and call him a stranger until their eyes opened!

For many of us- he has whispered to us in and through the Holy Spirit, His light has shown on us, His mercy has been known to us, and His grace has washed us and made us clean and we fall on our knees and call him Savior!
And it all started on a Christmas day in a manger long ago.
The wrapping paper may be put away…the decorations will soon be boxed up, returns to the store may happen, Christmas Vacations will end—but the beginning of our life- of our eternal life and of our salvation began in a manger over 2000 years ago.
At some point in our life- we too were given a name. But even before that, God knew us. My favorite Psalm 139 praises God saying, “for it was you who formed by inward parts; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.” We were named- my parents named me Elizabeth Ruth and brought me before Madisonville Presbyterian Church to be baptized. On that day I was initiated into Christ’s holy church, I was now part of God’s mighty acts of salvation, I was given new birth through water and the spirit, and I was recognized as part of the family of God. At baptism we celebrate God’s action- the Holy Spirit pours out the unmerited gift of amazing grace.
God knows us before our beginning and has known us throughout infancy, childhood, youth, and on into adulthood. Christ guides me now as an adult, as a parent, as a pastor, and will lead me through until I meet Him and feast at His heavenly banquet.
Mary and Joseph knew who their son was, but could they know all that he would be? All he would do? All he would accomplish for you and for me and for all the world? Could they grasp that for all people, for all time, Christ would be the One who lived, died and rose again for our sins?
When my mother gave birth and when my parents took me to church to be baptized- when my church made a covenant as the Body of Christ to nurture me in Christ’s holy church—they did not know who or what I would become- but they listened to God’s call to name me something even more than Elizabeth Ruth- they named me in through baptism in the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.

I may have just been an baby- but God worked that day!
God works no matter how old you are.
And God has continued to work—when I was aware and when I was not—
when I tried to hide from God and
when I -with tears streaming and cheeks grinning - praised God!
That was a beginning for me.
Mary and Joseph brought Jesus- acknowledging- knowing- that Christ, while Mary carried and birthed him, while together they would raise him, and Joseph would train him as a carpenter --Christ was not theirs
- he was more… He belonged to God- he came for the world.
They brought him to the temple acknowledging this- marking him with the sign of the covenant, naming him before the temple, presenting him for all to see.

The Maronite Christian, and poet Kahhil Gibron(Ka-Lil Gee-Bran) wrote “On Children”
On Children
Kahlil Gibran
Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.

They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.

You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.

You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
You are the bows from which your children
as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
and He bends you with His might
that His arrows may go swift and far.

Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable.

Whether we have children of our own or whether we share in the nurturing of children in our church and community- we see in them the future. We have hope- we see a beginning of newness, excitement, and opportunity.
Children have an awe that sometimes escapes the rest of us.
Some of us think when we look in a mirror- that we are no longer children- no longer able to have a new beginning—that we can no longer witness awe. Like the wrapping paper and the decorations that are being put away, placed on shelf, stored- we see our contribution…as somewhat limited.
And yet- we are still children, for we are always God’s children.
We heard Chum/Sara/Kevin tell us this good news from Paul that
“when the set time had fully come, God sent his Son, born of a woman, born under the law, 5 to redeem those under the law, that we might receive adoption as children. And because you are children, God has sent the Spirit of His Son into our hearts, crying, “Abba! Father!” So you are no longer a slave, but God’s child; and since you are his child, God has made you also an heir.” (Galatians 4: 4-7 NRSV).
You see-- No matter what you have been named, no matter what names others have called you, you are first and foremost God’s child. Isaiah proclaimed to us, “Instead of your shame, you will receive a double portion, and instead of disgrace, you will rejoice in your inheritance.”
Your inheritance as God’s child is the gift of grace, salvation through faith, and life eternal.
Perhaps you have sat up late at night and stared at your own child and felt so full of love that your heart cried out, or perhaps you stood in a sanctuary holding a candle looking out at your newborn Savior who has been born for you and all the world- this is a sign to you.
You are God’s child.
God is constantly seeking as Our Father to bring us to the temple- God is full of hope about who we will become, what we will do, how we will act.

God names us and presents us to the world.

And we are still being knitted together.
God is the archer whose hand is always stable,
And God is the wind who guides,
And God is target who will catch us in His arms.
It is still Christmas!

We’ve been given the very best.
Christ has been born ---born in our hearts anew
so that we may cry out Abba Father!
God made you and you are His child.
As his children you are the very best God brings in this world—
God is filled with hope
knowing that His creation—His very best --is His Body now on earth.
Will you bring your very best for him?
God brought his very best to us and gave us a Savior,
Mary and Joseph came and brought their very best, gave Jesus all they could -to prepare him in his journey.

One year is ending, but life can be just beginning—now what?

Bring your very best-
Be God’s children in this world
Shine your light--- let your heart cry out!
For Christ has come!
Thanks be to God. Amen!

Footnotes:
Kahlil Gibran was born to a Maronite Christian family in Besharri, Lebanon (then part of Syria and the Ottoman Empire). Because of the family's poverty, Gibran did not receive a formal education as a young boy, but a local priest taught him Arabic and Syriac, as well as the stories of the Bible and infused in him an awareness of Maronite Christianity. The Maronite Church is an Eastern Catholic Church in full communion with the Holy See of Rome (in other words, Maronites are Catholics). It traces its heritage back to the community founded by Maron, an early 5th-century Syriac monk venerated as a saint. The first Maronite Patriarch, John Maron, was elected in the late 7th century. Although reduced in numbers today, Maronites remain one of the principal ethno-religious groups in Lebanon and they continue to represent the absolute majority of Lebanese people when the Lebanese diaspora is included. Unique amongst Eastern Christians, the Maronites are Catholics, who have remained in communion with the Bishop of Rome since the Great Schism.

Closing Questions

2011-01-12T22:29:00.000-08:00

Back in November, I attended the New Church Leadership Institute offered by our Annual Conference. It was amazing, inspiring, reality filled, discernment pushing, powerful learning.... It was taught and led by Jim Griffith. He is amazing- and if you ever have the opportunity to attend anything he is doing--GO! Even if you are not interested in church planting- you'll learn a ton! Since 1996 he’s assessed over 1900 church planting candidates, trained over 9,000 planters, and coached over 1500 projects. He works with over thirty organizations.

I was supposed to attend this back in 2008-but I decided that it was more important for me to get away to write my ordination papers- and that worked out pretty well.

So I went this year- and I knew even a bit more about church development and planting because in 2010 I was asked to be on our Conference's Church Development Team. That's been a lot of fun and I've learned a lot.

So there are like 20 pages of exit interview response questions after attending the event. The questions are really good- and they truly help you reflect! The conference was held mid November- so we went into Thanksgiving, Advent, etc. and the exit interview questions were due last week-- I'm finally getting them in!Agh! (I did take a real- real vacation last week and pretty much did not work)But YAY! I have finally gotten it done. In some ways it felt like writing ordination papers again- but I was definitely more ...free flowing in this. No one is really grading me- this is for me... Yikes- won't it be horrible if it turns out differently? :)

No really- its a good thing- the whole thing was about discerning- are you a church planter are you called to do this... I found some answers that I was not sure I would have and some that were hard to accept. But isn't discernment like that-- when you really do it? You learn you can't agree with yourself like you wanted...sometimes the answer is a "yes, but".... (not like you thought it would be).

So the closing questions are:
1) Had I known you better, what question would I have asked that I didn't ask?
2) If money were no object, describe your dream job?

These are great questions! And so this is what I wrote:

If I am completely honest- I sometimes fantasize about what it would be like to be a stay at home mom… I know I would not last long- or I would just be taking on project after project in ministry anyway… sometimes it comes out of a mom-guilt thing- but mostly it just that I take so much delight in my children. I really love being with them! They are amazing people! They are kind and sweet and funny and smart and loving-- and they love learning and they remind me to be in awe of life and God and the world around me!

When I was a US-2 Missionary I loved everything about my work and was there 80-90 hours a week- I got married and pulled back to about 60-70 and my husband became essentially my biggest volunteer (as his youth director job only was 20 hours a week at the time). When I was a youth pastor I tried to convince my husband that we should move out closer to the church we served so that we could do more for the youth—but he reminded me that our reasons for coming to Atlanta were for school and that I would have plenty of time for full time ministry.

I love ministry still and I am still someone who works easily 60 hours a week. I struggle to not work on vacation! But these days- I have a much easier time saying no to work and yes to my girls—sometimes I wonder if that means I am not as passionate as I should be about ministry. But I have discerned that I am no less passionate for ministry, but my passion capacity is also filled by the greatest and most amazing part of my life—my children. My parents were busy a lot and not always available—I will not do that to my girls.

I want to be with them more than anything. I love and want to be doing ministry. It is never easy and I rarely – (read here) never achieve balance- and I do not believe an equilibrium would be a good thing anyway- that is what balance is - equilibrium taken literally-because that would mean that nothing is driving me.

The house is never clean, the office is never organized- there are papers and piles, and a million things that are never completely done. I am pulled in a million directions and every day is a decision of what matters most and how much can I handle and who and where can I get the help I need to make it happen- who can I delegate to- who can I empower- and how can we work together to make it all happen in the joy of Christ?

That is a very long answer. Essentially- I’m doing it. As long as I am delighting in my family, creating ministry, producing fruit-creating and transforming disciples who transform the world- what else is there?

Yes- there is money… and I need money- I would really like to not have student loan debt, a car loan, or any debt, I would love to someday be able to own my own home. I would like to do bills without feeling anxiety…but I feel confidant that step by step it all will work out and we will be provided for no matter what.

God is always providing for us. I like simplicity and most days- when it comes to finances- I miss the simplicity of our life in Detroit when I made $200/ a month and Kevin made just a bit more- our room and board were provided (although we paid half back to the church since we got married in my missionary term –but that is another story) but we had less stuff and less to worry about.

I do worry about my capacity to keep it up—I used to think I had never-ending energy—I’m beginning to learn I don’t. This time is about tough choices and how to find ways to live out all these calls God has given me and realize God will tell and lead me in it all.

I guess that is the question I would have asked—how do you keep it up? How do you not get burnt out from taking on too much? How do you say no when you love it all? I work on these things all the time—I’d like to see how others do it well. I learn from that.

So that's my answer to the Closing Questions.

I do not have if figured out- but I know that God is here, that God has called me, that every day God equips me, and that God is in control.

When there is chaos- God will create- when there is too much going on- God will take away- when I'm ready to listen and hand it over I will see that God will guide me and I need not worry. I am in the right place.
I can't not be who I am called to be- that means a wife and a mom and a pastor- even when it is messy and crazy- its beautiful and I delight in it. I delight in the joy of being married to my very best friend and the love of my life- I delight in my children, I delight in the joys and challenges of ministry!
And it is all from the Lord! I delight in the Lord!

"Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart." (Psalm 37:4)

God is Good, All the Time! All the Time, God is Good!

2010-12-22T14:32:00.001-08:00

Recently, my children have been singing and teaching me about Santa, “You better watch out, You better not cry, You better not pout, I'm telling you why: Santa Claus is coming to town!” Accordingly, Santa is checking to see if we are naughty or nice and, “He knows when you've been bad or good, So be good for goodness sake!” Why are we good? God is good, all the time and all the time, God is good. Are we?

My children have also recently taught me something about God. My daughter Gracie did not listen to me about something I was asking her to do, so we sat down and had a conversation about it. I told her that I wanted her to listen to me and she said, “But Mommy, I’m listening to you right now!” I said, “Yes, and I am glad for that, but I want you to listen to me all the time.” And I found the Holy Spirit filling me and heard God say, “See…that is what I want from you too…all the time.”

We are called to be good and to listen and to follow Christ. Why? Is it because it’s just the right thing to do? Is it for goodness sake? Is it out fear of not going to heaven? Life is God’s gift to us, what we do with it is our gift to God. How we live, how we listen, and how we do good is not just because God says so and wants the best for us (which He does) but it is also more than that. It’s because we love Him. Listening and being good is how we praise God, how we respond, showing Christ and the world that we love our Savior! In this New Year, on the top of our resolutions, let us remember that God is good all the time, all the time God is good, and let us resolve to respond with loving God all the time!

Prayer

2010-10-28T08:55:00.000-07:00

Lord Jesus, abide with us and in us.
Inspire all our thoughts, pervade our imaginations, suggest all our decisions and order all our doings.
Be with us in our silence, and in our speech.
Guide us in our haste and in our leisure, in company and in solitude.
Awaken and fill us with awareness in the freshness of the morning and in the weariness of the evening.
Give us grace at all times humbly to rejoice in your mysterious companionship. Give us courage and energy to cultivate relationships so that the isolated are invited, the wounded are welcomed, and your people made whole in your grace and salvation.
We pray in the name of Jesus our Savior who lives and reigns forever, Amen.

(Half taken from the 1945 Methodist Book of Worship)

Making Friends

2010-10-13T08:10:00.001-07:00

Two Sundays ago I did go to worship at a church in the evening but before that I took Gracie to a party for her preschool class- not a birthday party- but a getting to know you party. I was glad I could go to that because I didn't feel I could afford the big splurge of socializing at the local Cox Farms at $9/ person (2 and up)--especially when there are free places. I don't hang around and socialize with the other parents as much as I should on school pick up days... I should. I really should. And sometimes I do - but somedays I have to get somewhere. And some days- I just don't enjoy standing around and chatting when they are in the super cute work out clothes, with what seems like all the time in the world (I acknowledge that is not true... I believe whole heartedly that stay at home moms are amazing- Amazing! And I have my moments of thinking "wouldn't it be great if I could afford that" but then I love love love ministry to- and I do believe comepletely that my call as a mom and as a wife does not conflict with my call as a pastor. I also hate watching and worrying about my kids sticking their heads between these metal bars outside, or falling over bricks that are in the landscaping, or being run over by a car.... I would prefer to chat and have them play in a fenced in area....

ANYWAY- I went to the parent socializing party- and it was fun. I really had a nice time. I didn't completely feel wierd as pastor and working mom. There was at least one other working mom there. And I felt a buddy. I'm always worried I'm going to sound preachy or too churchy.... that I won't be able to be "normal." People started to complain at one point about taxes and I shared about a funeral I did for a woman who worked for the Federal Gov't for 64 years (31 at FBI and 33 at IRS) and I shared how incredible that was and how the people who came I thanked them b/c I realized that folks from the IRS most likely rarely get thanked- Thanks for roads, and schools, and EMTS, and libraries, etc. (seriously- I was not being political- I just thought they work hard and we all work hard and we can enjoy these privileges in our society). The conversation left the negative and that was nice. Hopefuly they didn't think I was too goody goody-- I didn't feel like complaining about the government or taxes... In general I just don't like to be negative...
So maybe they thought I was too Polyanna (wouldn't be the first time I've heard that)

The folks who hosted had a parrot and his name was Wendell. I said, "Oh cool- is it Mr. Wendell?" Everyone had a very blank face- and the owners said, "No." I was like- you know, like the song "Mr. Wendell-- by Arrested Development?" Okay - totally blank faces.
So maybe I'm weird hipster Mom-- or perhaps this is just saying- Beth- you're not in Atlanta or Detroit anymore--- no one got it. Really? Didn't we all grow up hearing "Mr. We-en-dell"? Apparently not.

Its all good though- In the end- my confidance, my understanding of me is stronger than what the others and other parents think of me.

It is hard to make friends as an adult.
Add being a pastor, being a working Mom, and that gets more tricky.

I am friendly- I meet folks at Costco! I met this one Dad recently waiting for pizza and we shared poop and vomit stories! We had just met and we're rolling with laughter over the parent/bodily fluid experiences we endure. I didn't even invite him to church (through conversation I knew he attended another) but I often do invite others to church. Its like I can't turn part of me off- I don't turn off the mom or wife part of me and I can't really turn off the pastor part of me either.

In seminary they say not to be friends with your parishoners. That you can't be pastor and friend. This is somewhat true- but not all true. Yes, you don't want to call them to vent about church or your spouse, whatever. But you can talk about your life, your kids.
You can be real. You can be authentic.

My church is not just the place I serve---my church is also my family--its part of my home.
They have held me through pregnancies, and births, through kids getting sick, and running through church, through my child throwing an all out temper tantrum. I have never felt a sense from folks at my church that "Those are the pastor kids- they shouldn't act that way." I truly haven't. Its pretty amazing. Because I have heard horror stories from other PK's (Preacher Kid's). I am friends with people at my church and especially with the other parents here at my church- I feel a particular bond with them- they have particapted in my children's faith development and my own, all the church made promises at my children's baptisms.

If and when I invite folks to church it is only because I want them to also experience this kind of joy and wholeness of having a community that cares. Yes, sometimes the church fails- sometimes people fall through the cracks- sometimes it doesn't work out -- but sometimes and I venture to say most times- there is an opportunity for real authentic friendship with others in Christ.

Somtimes I feel that so much- that it is hard to make friends outside of church. Not impossible, but hard. I still think its important. And its something I need to be better at.

I have a real heart for the unchurched-- I miss being out in the community more. And I want to be better at doing that. This is what church planters must do each day- they don't have a building to insulate themselve in- they must be out there. And I love that- I can talk to anyone anywhere -- usually-- but why- why is it hard to make small talk at preschool pick up? Its not hard so much as I don't always feel I fit in maybe...

They know I'm the pastor.... but that shouldn't make it hard...
Sometimes I think people hear "pastor" and automatically put certain labels on those of us who are clergy.
If you are a pastor you must be___ you have to _____etc. I have suffered this before. And lost a friend.

Those friends you have before you became a pastor are awesome. They know you- accept you- and sometimes are surprised---sometimes they say, "This makes sense." But they love you.

Or there may be those folks who knew you (not friends/ acquatinces, or even family) and then you go through seminary, etc. and they're like "who do you think you are? I knew you when..." Great stories on this in Mitch Albom's book "Have a Little Faith."
This may be true for others in other vocations too.

Either way-- no matter what- making friends as an adult is harder than when we were kids. Remember conversations like, "Do you like Spider man/Barbie/ He-Man? Me too- cool- we're BFF!"

College was the same. I met friends my first day at college in the cafeteria b/c we all ended up sitting down and having a long conversation around "Saved by the Bell" We could all relate...then there was rush-- but before we were all the same- all new- and all understood certain sacred things- like a crush on Zack Morris.

Today- you meet a friend and it can be more complicated. But not impossible.

At the core people want to be loved, wanted, affirmed, known, seen, and appreciated. We may not come together around the toys, tv, or shows we like (although we may) but we can come together around the fact that we are each made in the Image of God to love and be loved. We all want that and need that- crave it! We put up good fronts- but deep down that is our basic need- as much as food and shelter.

When they meet me they may think I'm a Polyanna- that I'm too bubbly- or that I have strange music tastes(a white girl who loves old school rap?)... those are true statments most likely-- but I'm also more than that. One of my best friends first thought, "Whoa- she is way too southern bubbly bouncy! But she loves me-- she even loves the optimism in me."

It is scary to put yourself out there- but you're worth it. You're loved.

Barnes & Noble

2010-10-09T02:50:00.000-07:00

Last night my husband and I went out for a date!! A date! Praise the Lord! Hallelujah! (this may sound like an over-reaction...and probably normal for some folks...and some day I hope it is more normal for us....) But for now- it was just so so wonderful!!! We do fun things a lot as a family, but some times it is rare for us to get out. (lol I sound like I'm breaking out of jail!!!)

Anyway- I wanted a free- relatively free date for us. And great friends gave wonderful suggestions. We attempted to make the free concert at the Kennedy Center- (it would have been cool)but kids, traffic, parking [yes if we were smart we would have used metro] were difficult-(and the point wasn't the concert- but time together) if we were really smart we would have taken the metro.... but still we managed to find wonderful free parking by the basin across from the Jefferson Memorial. Other couples were also doing the same thing-- having picnics outside...We had bought pizza fixings so the kids and grandparents (Hallelujah for grandparents!!!) could have fun making pizza and I asked Kev to make one for us earlier and we could take it with us. (I planned this date- so he had no clue other than- make a pizza)

We had a very nice picnic-- there was one couple near us that was very passionate- and I had this moment (if you've not seen the movie "Date Night" do- it is very funny) where I thought---"hmm.... I hope they're not having an affair....or there's no way they're married..." they were like teenagers! In some ways I guess that's sad that this is what I assume (and of course we all know we shouldn't assume...) We did not display similar antics, but we did have a very very good time. In fact I laughed a lot and it felt like the longest time since we'd had a chance to just sit and share w/o being interrupted. Ahh Quality time!! It was so so renewing!

We finished up and walked hand in hand around the Washington Monument where other couples and families and runners were about. Some nice running guys stopped to take our picture for us and we had fun leaning against the monument and seeing our shadows cast by the lights.

We brought our chess board and thought it would be fun to play a game. I had placed a book on hold at Barnes & Noble and so off we ventured. (Seriously, How wild are we? :) Walking into Barnes & Noble without children is a whole different experience. You're not chasing and you don't have the words, "Put that back," "Stop pulling those books out," "No- we're not getting that" catapulting out of your lips. You actually peruse... and browse... and laugh at silly books like one we saw filled with Awkward Pictures (so hilarious- but not spending $12.50 on it!) It felt like an experiment in placing your finger on the pulse of culture.

We had a lot of fun reading and looking and then sat and each had a small (or I guess tall) cup of coffee (the one expense of our date). We came to the table with books we had found that looked interesting to us. I had ended in the Christianity section...
(hmmm Beth- maybe you should read something other than theology...)
And seriously- I do... really-- but I should do better- I am just drawn there.
But I also loved looking at the displays, etc. (that's the whole pulse of culture part)

What is on display? What are people reading? I think I can often and way too often become insulated in "church." I can even become insulated in my own denominational church - I went to a United Methodist college, was a United Methodist missionary, attended a United Methodist seminary and I am now a United Methodist pastor. I read a lot and I go to the LifeWay and Family Christian, and recently have been looking at some Lutheran resources for some family ministry stuff-- but still I am insulated in church.

I kind of have no hobbies (and I am working on this - picked up knitting again) outside of being mom, wife, pastor, cook, cleaner, etc... I do read and that is good- books, magazines, blogs, online newspapers... but I am rarely outside the scope of church stuff-- I seek to be out there more- to know and connect-not just to be a better pastor, but to be a better person- better Christian- who can connect with others and love them better...

I found several books some in Christianity and some just in the first displays you hit- that essentially are books that are propagating agnosticism or atheism.
I really don't get evangelical atheists or agnostics.
Its like spreading hopelessness. What is the point of your book? To make people not believe? To tear down their faith?
To build up humanity as the answer? (I seriously think of the Dr. Phil question- how's that working out for us?)

One of the books I looked at dealt with the problem of suffering-- and researched the issues of it and the biblical responses to it and breaks those responses down to show that they don't work and that God is not really involved (now this is what I can tell from reading the preface, skimming chapters, etc...)

This is that essential question of theodicy that we(all of us) are continually plagued with.
This author was and no longer is Christian, was a professor of theology and no longer is.
He, like me, found Kushner's book "Why do Bad Things Happen to Good People" not satisfying in answering the question.
For me, Kushner takes away a solid understanding of God's sovereignty and that just doesn't work. I'm not giving this authors' name or title of his book- because I haven't read it yet- I can't make assertions or judgments. I seriously skimmed and discussed part of it with Kevin.

Another book is from a fellow who shared how science and reason can offer us everything including morality- and how we only need ourselves and our minds and no God. UGH! (this is my first response--seriously utter disgust)--not for him, not for the author- and I mean that- but for this forsakeness of God. Who do you think gave you that mind and that ability to reason? I love my ability to reason and think and question and struggle- and I believe God gave it all to me! I love that John Wesley included reason in one of the things that is important to our faith- to understanding it and living it out. (Often called the Wesley Quadrilateral -Scripture, Tradition, Reason, Experience)

I hate suffering and I believe God does too.
God has never given up on me - even when Christ hung on the cross- and felt forsaken by all people and even cried aloud feeling forsaken by God- he still did not lose faith- he still forgave us- he never forsook us, he never gave up. He knew - he lived- he died- for our hope- for the truth that there is resurrection- there is new life- there is eternal life- there is hope- there is forgiveness- there is reconciliation- there is unending grace, mercy, and peace that passes understanding. I wrote in a sermon once that sin isn't God's problem - its ours... Suffering isn't a problem we can solve.... it is a reality that exists- not because God wants it, not always exclusively because our sin creates it, not because God is poking at and testing us... it just is.
I have no easy answers-- maybe I have no "good" answers- and maybe I have none that are "good enough" for folks. This truly is one of my fears I as a pastor- that I won't have good enough answers to help guide people and grow people in their faith. But its not about me- or my answers- Christ isn't Google... you can't find a link to answer everything- there will be no quick fix-- there will be "well that makes sense- okay - now that I have understood everything- sign me up!" No - there is only faith.

I think about Matthew's Gospel and how Jesus is tempted in the desert by the devil.

5Then the devil took him to the holy city and had him stand on the highest point of the temple. 6"If you are the Son of God," he said, "throw yourself down. For it is written:
" 'He will command his angels concerning you,
and they will lift you up in their hands,
so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.'[b]"

7Jesus answered him, "It is also written: 'Do not put the Lord your God to the test.

I think it is good for us to question- we question God, one another, the church- we challenge our faith- and that is not a bad thing. I once almost got thrown out of a church because I questioned so much! Seriously!
But sometimes I think we have to think about why do we question? Are searching for answers? And really- would any answer be satisfying? Do we want to tear down what another believes? Are we seeking to open ourselves and others up to more? Are we competing with God- do we think we know better?

I do not believe we can move further in our faith without doubt, questions, challenges- but I also believe we can't expect easy answers- or try to put God in a box- or give up when it doesn't work out for us...

I wondered with Kevin about these books- why do they write them? Do they seek to take away hope- do they know better- do they think that humanity is great and can do better? (again that Dr. Phil question) Does the author seek to rip faith away from believers? And Kevin wondered with me- should we not read this and these kind of books? Do they seek to take away faith and if so is this book evil- is it seeking to do evil?

I take seriously the vows of baptism and membership where I have stood and said that "I renounce the spiritual forces of wickedness, reject the evil powers of this world, and repent of my sin and that I accept the freedom and power God gives me to resist evil, injustice, and oppression in whatever forms they present themselves." Is this one of those places? Do I resist this?

And yet- I think and fear and wonder if this is the onslaught of thought that barrages people- If I truly seek to guide, and uplift, and nurture people in their faith shouldn't I know and understand what is that they have to confront- or that is trying to confront them. (of course someone could use this reasoning and say- well I had to watch the porn or do the drugs or whatever so I could understand better...yada yada-- hear me clearly-- this is NOT what I'm saying) I just don't think I should be so insulated that I am comfortable with my "answers" but those answers bounce off those I'm trying to reach.

I am not afraid that these authors or anyone for that matter can take away my faith. I've been to seminary-(there was this joke in seminary that your first year they'd try to steal your Jesus and you'd get Him back your third year!) I never lost my Jesus. Many of these authors have been to seminary too and they are more studied than I am. Do they know better than me? No. I believe. I know. I reason. I feel. I experience. I suffer. I struggle and still I believe. I struggle more and I struggle again and still I believe. I believe more and I believe deeper and I believe wiser and I struggle more and I believe deeper and fuller and wiser. I share this belief with people throughout all the world and throughout all time that God is the God who lives and loves and cares and rules and that His Son Jesus Christ lived, and died, and rose again. He hung on a cross and suffered, he questioned and wondered about people- where were they-why did they do this- and about where God was- and He didn't give up- He didn't abandon us or God He forgave us and He knew that God did not leave him there to suffer and die. I believe in the Holy Spirit who lives and moves, and breathes and guides, and nurtures, and cares. I believe in the resurrection and in the hope of eternal life and in the life everlasting. I believe that no matter what happens God is with me. Some would call me naive or optimistic (and its not like I've not heard that before and believe me I've even been called way worse).

I don't believe because its easy and I don't believe because I now have all the answers and life is easy and I don't believe because I think it makes sense in a logical way and that I no longer have questions and all the answers are here and its all figured out. I believe because I know God is God who loves me and lives in me and is for me and with me. I know Christ seeks me out, saves me, forgives me, and redeems me, and I know the Holy Spirit enfolds me, equips me, guides me, uplifts me- how do I know? How do I know? Really Beth- Tell me how do you know?

There's a great hymn that says, "You ask me how I know he lives? He lives within my heart!" that may sound cheesy to some folks- or again naive and optimistic- but it is truth. When I doubt Christ catches me when I fear He holds me- when I'm pissed off he still holds me. God is more patient than anyone we can ever imagine- we're like two year olds' (or even harder- three year olds' having a tantrum) God can wait us out and is still there! God doesn't leave.

Yes- there is famine and destruction, and horrible horrible things--real things- not just theoretical bad stuff- but really bad stuff- many of my parishioners have seen things I could never imagine, many of the people who walk in to the church each day or who I encounter and millions of people who I don't encounter are living on the hinges of life, they are without food, clothing, shelter, medicine, and sometimes worst of all without hope. Where is God? all the people clamor-- they want a target to blame. Where and how are we? Where and how and when are we accepting the freedom and power Christ gives us? Do we live and believe and do something?

Why do I believe- is it just because I believe I am being saved from hell? Yes and no-- Yes I do believe I am saved from hell- I am saved from from fear, and pain, isolation, and ultimate suffering Yes I believe that. But my belief doesn't begin and certainly doesn't end there or even languish there very long-- I believe I am saved for- saved for a life of service in and through and for Christ and His world.
I am saved for you and you are saved for me- so that we may love.
So that we love God and one another and love the world.
A very insightful preacher once said to me, "What brings you to faith keeps you in faith?" Do you come out of fear? Do you come for easy answers (and when I say easy answers I don't mean just pat answers- in some ways I think any "answer" to the problem of evil and suffering would be insufficient...) if you need this for faith and to stay in faith.... how will you stay in faith? What answer is enough?
Do you come to faith because you are drawn by God's grace that has been always and ever with you (prevenient) that forgives and restores and justifies you and that carries, lifts, and transforms you in a life leading to perfection (perfect in love Matthew 5:48)Do you have a faith that holds you even when answers can't?

Believe and don't stop believing- question and challenge- and read and explore- but don't be shamed, or made to feel stupid, naive, uneducated- we can lose everything in this world- everything- but we cannot lose God---

And you thought I was just writing about Barnes & Noble!

Romans 1: 16 I am not ashamed of the gospel, because it is the power of God for the salvation of everyone who believes

Wife Mom Pastor Life

2010-10-05T20:11:00.000-07:00

Today, I kept Gracie home b/c she was having a bad cough. Each year she tends to get pneumonia--- so I'm trying to keep that from happening. We did a nebulizer treatment and I think we'll keep that up...

Kevin got Sophia off to daycare... he went to work and came home not much later... He looked green... and was so sick! He has a stomach flu, fever, all of it!

I tried to do work from home... but it was somewhat hard-- Gracie would just say, "Snuggle me Mommy." Awwwww...and I was tired.... I did some emailing and preparing for my bible study the best I could... at 4 I took Grace to the church and we set up for the bible study... In my office I have this big gourd that a friend's Mom gave me-- and Gracie pretended to be "Queen of the Gourd" and received a Burger King crown from Pastor Ralph (when Gracie says his name is sounds like Papa Ralph)

On the way to get Sophia-- a fire truck went by roaring...and I said, "Let's say a prayer." I said, "Dear God (and Gracie repeated...) Please keep the firemen and everyone safe. Amen.

Then Gracie said- I want to say another prayer-
and said-- "Dear God, Keep the firemen and all the people safe, let there be love in all the peoples' homes, keep them safe from lots of rain. Amen"

Got Sophia-- and I got a nice big hug!!!made dinner--Princess Soup-- babysitter came...

I printed out the handouts for Disciple Bible Study-
--- I was triple booked tonight
Back to School Night- Sophia's class/Grace's class -- I did 15 min in each class
---Originally Kevin was going to go to one class and I to another...
Parent gathering and I did a pastor talk- and then off to finish Disciple-

When I greeted my class- one of the folks in my class heard a/b my day and the schedule and said, "Maybe we should've started next week?" "This is life..." I said- with joy-- I mean I wasn't mad or defensive or annoyed-- just matter of fact... This is life.

It is-- I am wife/mom/pastor-- I am one person and its all good. Like really-- good. Its crazy, its hectic-- kids get sick, husband gets sick-- there are parent and pastor responsibilities...
house is a mess....family coming to visit- it all happens at once...no matter how well we plan- it happens.... but you know what?

God is so good. I feel held in it all.

And they were fine-- I hate that this was the first real class... but this is why I have a great assistant, had a lesson plan, and a 30 minute video... I hated missing their opening discussion....

Tonight:
Gracie's teacher Mrs. Ryan shared a story about Grace-- She calls the kids "Lovey" sometimes or "Little love" and Gracie said, "I'm not Lovey, I'm Gracie Anderson." lol

she cracks me up!

My bible study was really wonderful- a big class-- but great. I worry about how big the class is- about 20 folks now... Ranging in age from 20-70s that is pretty cool. OF course theodicy came up at the very end and we totally ran over. It all went well...I just hope I wasn't like a total spaz going all over the place. It is a big class...there are lots good thoughts, questions, and I prefer discussion than lecture...but in the beginning its hard not to do that a bit I guess-- I just don't like to be preachy...I don't want to sermonize them to boredom...but mostly I did feel that it went well..

I did feel bad about being late to relieve our awesome babysitter.

The girls had so much fun with our wonderful babysitter---
They played dress up with these wonderful clothes our babysitter brought for them while I was three ring circus Mom/Pastor
and were out when I got home...

Checked on Kevin, took his temp, covered him up, cold washcloth for the head, and Tylenol for the fever.... poor thing

there is so much to do...but I am done.

There are always piles of laundry, piles and piles... I feel like that song, "I can see for miles and miles..." I see laundry for piles and piles... but it will all be good.

In the wonderful words of Julian of Norwich "All will be well and all will be well and all things will be well."

This is what assurance, peace, comfort feels...even when there are like a million things I could be stressed about-- I'm not. I know that it will all be well. I am held. Thanks be to God!

Words from Grace

2010-09-12T08:49:00.001-07:00

I'm constantly astounded by the things my 3 year old says. Sometimes she scares me how deep she can be and other times she just makes me laugh. Sophia my 2 year old is saying lots of thigns right now too-- and I know that I'm really going to be amazed by her thoughts and ideas once she shares them with me.

In this last week these are some of the things Gracie said:

She woke up in the middle of the night last week- and Kevin went to see what she needed.
He opened the door and there was Gracie, "Daddy, I can't sleep. I have a wedgie."
Kevin is an awesome Dad- and he's good for fixing all kind of things- including a wedgie... lol

Wednesday we came by my office and there was a bag of cookies there that a parishoner had made for our family. There were two big ziplock bags full of oatmeal raisen deliciousness. Gracie couldn't wait to have one and I said, "Why don't we share them with all our friends first." So we shared them with everyone in the office- Gracie carrying the bag and offering, "Do you want a cookie?" Then when we had offered one to all the staff, we found the ladies sorting things for the bazaar, and then we went downstairs to the preschools and offered cookies to all the teachers. She had a blast running up and saying, "Would you like a cookie?" Gracie was skipping down the hall saying, "Mommy, I loooove sharing! There is plenty for everyone!" When we had given cookies to everyone at church- she wanted to find more people to give cookies to- so we knocked on some of our neighbors doors and gave cookies to our neigbhors, and to a police officer- most everyone else was away at work so Gracie said, "I think I'll go take a nap, and when I wake up, we'll find more folks to share our cookies with!"

Friday, Kevin wasn't feeling well so I left work early to take the kids. I decided to take them to get their hair cut (Sophia's bangs were way long and I just decided I don't have the patience to pin them back every day). It's back to school time and it would be nice to have a fresh start! On the way to the mall for the haircut we saw a homeless woman on the side of the road. I had nothing on me except these McDonald's coupons I just took out of the mailbox. They included some things free. So I rolled the window down and gave them to her.
Gracie said, "Who was that lady?"
I said, "She's someone who needs some help. You know how we have a nice house to live in and warm beds to sleep in?"
Grace, "Yes."
Me, "Well some people don't have a house to live in or a bed to sleep in."
Gracie thought about it a minute and then she said, "Well Mommy, they can just come to the church. The world isn't done yet."

I was just in awe- nope, the world isn't done yet.

Here are our new haircuts, and the lollipop we got for being still:

Our Lives, God's Hands

2010-09-07T11:36:00.000-07:00

So - I preached on Sunday...but I preached to myself all week leading up to it. I struggled, really struggled... not sure how vunerable I'm ready to be in the blogoshere.... but I'll say now- that I need to remember to stay on the wheel.

Here's my sermon from Sunday:
“Our Lives, God’s Hands”
Jeremiah 18: 1-11
September 5, 2010
Rev. Beth Anderson

This is a powerful and hard word from the prophet Jeremiah. He speaks boldly, harshly and it can be hard to hear his words about God’s justice…

Imagine if we could not only hear but also see….. to go and walk with Jeremiah down to the potters house…
– we can see the potter working tirelessly at the wheel
– the wheel is spinning
– the potter’s hands in the wet and muck of clay
– –we see the clay spoil in his hands,
– But The potter keeps it on the wheel
– His hands wrap around, pressing, pushing, moving, holding, guiding, molding…
– We see the potter rework the clay into another vessel
o working and reworking it, until it seems good to him
– He will make a good vessel out of this
– The potter has it- in his hands- and it will turn out just as he has planned…

Can you see the potter at work?
Can you see yourself?
On the wheel—spinning- drenched, muddy- but held by the master’s hands?

The Lord says to Jeremiah speaking of the nation of Israel, “Can I not do with you, O house of Israel just as this potter has done? Just like the clay in the potter’s hand, so you are in my hand.”

You – your life--- no matter how muddy, how soaked, no matter how fast the wheel is spinning—is held in God’s hands.

Pottery in Jeremiah’s day wasn’t just for beauty- pottery was not art for arts sake, although it may be beautiful it was for a use.
It was not just lovely to see- - it was made for a purpose.
It was to be
used,
filled,
carried,
poured out,
and filled up again

people would be fed from it,
thirst would be quenched with it,
things may be planted and grow in it

We hear in this word from Jeremiah that God is not done with us yet—if he was – he wouldn’t continue to rework the clay- he’d give up on it- toss in the fire- but NO he keeps working it.

This is good news –this is a word of hope…

It is ….as long as we are interested in becoming what God is creating us to be.

But its hard work to become what God wants us to be.

It means we have to stay on the wheel,
It means we have to listen and be guided by his hands
It means that we have to be yielding, pliable
It means we cannot allow ourselves to be hardened to God’s will

God says, “At one moment I may declare concerning a nation or a kingdom, that I will pluck up and break down and destroy it, but if that nation, concerning which I have spoken turns from its evil, I will change my mind about the disaster that I intended to bring on it. And at another moment I may declare concerning a nation or a kingdom that I will build and plant it, but if it does evil in my sight, not listening to my voice, then I will change my mind about the good I had intended to do to it.”

God has plans for them- he intends good.

And yet- these lumps of clay are still responsible for their own destiny.

Their choice toward repentance or further desertion and discard of God’s will can change the plans—the hope God intends.

I think about the story of Jonah- how Jonah is sent to Nineveh to cry out against them because of their wickedness.

He doesn’t want to go—he attempts to flee, but God is working in his life,
shaping circumstances,
attempting to lead him there.
Jonah finally relents and yields to God’s call. He goes and shares God’s judgment with the people of Nineveh.
He is sure they will continue in their ways- but something amazing happens!
The people all believe, repent, everyone -even the king repent, fast, and put on a sackcloth. They all surrender to God’s will.

Chapter 3 verse 10 of Jonah says, “When God saw what they did, how they turned from their wrong ways, God changed his mind about the calamity that he had said he would bring upon them; and he did not do it.”

We know God’s mind- his hope, his desire, for us is good.

In fact God declares “For surely I know the plans I have for you…plans for your welfare and not for harm, to give you a future with hope.”(Jeremiah 29:11).

God’s mind did not so much change, as the people did. They chose what was right. They listened and learned.
They obeyed, they turned, repented, and were to be shaped into the people God was calling them to be.

God’s hands are always guiding us- guiding the vessel he created to be created into the purpose he has.
Ephesians 2:10 says, “ For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago” (NLT)
A masterpiece takes time to be created, to be turned, reworked.

The passage in Jeremiah reveals that divine justice does not exclude the possibility of human repentance. Rather it demands and expects it!

A full humble human response to God’s will can and will open up a wholly changed prospect for the future. (Interpretation, 113)
Our future is not in stone- it is not yet hardened and it is not yet thrown out.
There is hope.

God has spoken to the people through Jeremiah over and over.
He has pleaded with them to repent, to turn from the sin, injustice, and infidelity and over and over they reject him.
Over and over they do what is evil in God’s sight.

Doing what is evil in God’s sight—as verse 10 defines is “not listening to Gods voice.”

Just before God leads Jeremiah to the potter’s house he had instructed Jeremiah to “stand in the People’s Gate” and exhort the people to honor the Sabbath by not bearing a burden on the Sabbath day—And what did the people do? “… they did not listen or incline their ear; they stiffened their necks and would not hear or receive instruction.”
They became hardened.
They were no longer pliable, able to be molded and shaped.

If they had chosen to honor the Sabbath – they would have taken the time to let their burdens down, to stop, to listen,
to know God’s will, to be held by God, and be guided….
The imperfections would have needed to be let go, they would have had to turn and turn – repent means to turn from what is wrong- They would need to turn on God’s wheel, to be moved and molded by His hands--but NO—they were too busy- they brushed by Jeremiah as he stood at the gate- they didn’t have time.
They rushed by God forsaking his call, his concern, his commandments,
his ways and his will-
-- they jumped off the wheel…. they didn’t want to hear it- they wanted a quicker fix.

I think about what would have been if they had stopped—
- if they like the clay had stayed on the wheel and been held and molded, and pushed, and worked over---
it would hurt—
it would be demanding, bits of clay get smoothed over and fall away
-some parts would need to be let go
—the things that they needed to deal with
–all that needed letting go, changing, reforming, transforming the sins, addictions, grief’s, fears, wrong ways—they would have been
lifted from the vessel
--worked out, by the Potter’s hands.

They jumped off the wheel
- they could do it better
- they wanted to spin faster
or harden now
- they could create their own purpose – didn’t need the Potter’s hands.

Sometimes being on the wheel of our lives feels like too much to handle.
Either life isn’t moving at the pace we want or it feels too fast…
we don’t allow God time to work
– we want to be done.

Do you ever notice that we’re striving for what’s next?
We’ve made plans, created goals, benchmarks, milestones to accomplish and we think we’ve arrived…
only we get there and …then what?
We make lists and accomplish them and then what?
We strive to get there….
to some pinnacle of achievement only to find that
we really haven’t submitted
our lives to God’s hands.
We haven’t surrendered it all to God’s will.

Somewhere in the midst of this life of ours- our plans took over.
Somewhere the wheel filled with the demands of the world—spinning
—and we no longer trusted
that God would--- could, work.

Somewhere we took over…

We believed but did we live?

So much of our faith has
“become about a statement of belief,
but scripture doesn’t call us
to make believers, but disciples.”
Our belief has to come to life.

We must live it,
practice,
and follow God’s will.

Over and over people
—not just Jeremiah’s crowd
--all of us-- refuse to yield
—choosing self over God
- our will over God’s.

There are consequences for rejecting God’s will. There is judgment—there is justice.

Judgment is not anger, it is love, it is protection---it is hope—it is seeking to mold us and make us into the work God intends.

Judgment is the carrying out of God’s justice—it is about integrity, truth, and the fair treatment of all.

We refuse, harden against, forsake, rebel against God’s will and there is consequence. Consequence caused by our choice. It is the same for all -God doesn’t pick and choose.

When we here verse 11 and hear God say,
“I am a potter shaping evil against you and devising a plan against you”
it can sound like God is all about judging – coming after us—
But God’s judgment isn’t about
plotting against us.
God is not a master who has us as puppet on strings.
God isn’t against us.

God has his hands on us,
in us,
through us,
holding us
—shaping us—
God is willing to get dirty,
to bend over us working and working and working
God is in this
God has created us
God wants this vessel--- this disciple
to come out right-
God has no timeline- there is no moment
if/ when the vessel starts to spoil that
He’ll give up

Every good and wonderful thing
that is here- all these things that this stole tells the story of- all these moments of clay that have shaped my life
- I didn’t plan any of them
- —they were God’s hands on my life. He had a plan. He still does.
- I have to listen – to hear it
- and let Him mold me and live it!

No matter all our attempts to jump off the wheel…
God out of merciful love,
out of a justice that loves and wants what is real and right
and true and good says,
“Stay – stay on the wheel,
turn and repent- listen
and let me shape you- turn and turn
– let my will work in you--- hear me while I hold you.

We may not like what we hear.
We have to deal with the wrongs in our lives,
with the hardness of our hearts,
but God will pour over us everlasting water,
We will be moveable clay,
He’ll keep his hands on us and we can be malleable—as his water falls on us,
He will perfect us at the right speed,
He will work us knowing what we can take, and we must turn and turn
from our hardness,
turn from our rebellion,
turn from our will and turn into his,
turn into his work
– into the masterpiece he seeks to create- turn more and more into his image
- his purpose- his plan.

Thanks be to God. Amen.

My Prayer Today

2010-09-01T09:29:00.000-07:00

Gracious God,
Surround me in your strength, fill me with resilience. Light the fire of passion with which you called me and use me as your instrument. Give me the ability to let the struggles of the day pass over me or make me stronger. When unkind words seek to tear me down, let them vanish from me and let me not dwell on them. Let me sit with you Lord, Awaken my ears to hear, my heart to be warmed, and my hands to do your work. In the name of Jesus who call and equips and in whom I put my trust, Amen.

Our Deepest Fear

2010-06-30T20:50:00.000-07:00

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.

Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light not our darkness that most frightens us.

We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?

Actually, who are you not to be?

You are a child of God.

Your playing small does not serve the world.

There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.

We are all meant to shine, as children do.

We are born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.

Is is not in some of us; it is in everyone.

And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.

As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."
--Marianne Williamson

A Life of Joy

2010-06-29T10:43:00.001-07:00

I preached my first sermon after Ordination on June 20- Being called and chosen is a "Life of Joy"
Rev. Beth Anderson
John 15: 1-16
A Life of Joy: Called, Chosen, Connected

As I tried to decide what text I would preach on this day- on this first Sunday preaching as an Elder in Full Connection- on this first Sunday after being ordained, I couldn’t help back to this text in John. It is the text that Messiah’s mission and vision is rooted in and it is the text that tells us where our roots are. It tells us how we live a life of joy. Complete joy. It tells us who we are and whose we are. It is a text of remembering and growing, of how to know how to deal with change, and how to know where you are going. It is a text that guides and focuses. That leads and comforts.

Monday was the fourth best day of my life.
I have had a lot of wonderful days and some hard ones too- but these four mark these moments of call and completion- of feeling and knowing God had chosen and set me apart. Have you ever sat down and written out your very best days? Those moments of complete joy? Those days where your cheeks hurt from smiling so much? Those days where you didn’t realize you were exhausted until your head finally hit the pillow…but you still didn’t want to close your eyes because everything was just too good to be true?

July 27, 2002 I married my very best friend and the love of my life- Kevin.
I was called to be his wife. We met in an odd way- in the middle of a street at a music festival. He chose to come and talk with me out of anyone else there. He asked me the time. What did I find out months later? Anyone know? He had his watch in his pocket!

March 7, 2007 Grace was born. She is grace- she pours out generous, unsolicited love. God called me to be a Mom and Kevin to be a Dad. I spent the first few weeks just staring at her with tears of joy.

June 25, 2008 Sophia was born. She is wisdom- she is insightful, observant, and intuitive to everything around her. God called us once again to be her parents and for her to be ours. One of the midwives at my practice said that your first child teaches you the depth of your love and your next child teaches you the breadth of your love. Having my beautiful daughters has taught me that God can stretch me more than I imagined, God has taught me that love never offers scarcity only ever widening abundance.

And then Monday- June 14, 2010 Ordination- The Bishop laid her hands on me saying, “Almighty God, pour upon Elizabeth Spencer Anderson the Holy Spirit, for the office and work of an elder in Christ Holy Church. Amen.” And she said, “Elizabeth Spencer Anderson take authority as an elder to preach the Word of God, and to administer the Holy Sacraments in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.”

A friend of mine asked me if I felt differently- and I do.

I felt changed when I was married- I was now Mrs. Anderson- I wear a ring- a circle that never ends showing my love that is eternal with Kevin’s. The pastor who married us took his stole and wrapped it around us our hands as we prayed symbolizing that we were tying a knot now together and with Christ.

I felt changed as a mother- I was Grace’s Mom, Sophia’s Mom—they had been bound to me and still are. I have new marks as a Mother- they show as lines of smiles, some of worry- I wear jewelry made of noodles and bumps/bruise of being climbed on, and eagerly embraced.

And now I feel changed - I am fully ordained as Reverend, as elder – I now where a stole-symbolizing the yoke of Christ— a yoke is used to pair oxen together as they pull a load, plow a field, and go about their work.

The stole symbolizes the fact that I am “yoked” I have “teamed up with Jesus” in the work sharing and spreading the kingdom. I share in a covenant with in the Order of Elders to pray, conference, and intentionally nourish one another in the means of grace.

I have new names- I have new symbols, I have new responsibilities, new joys.

Covenants change us-
We make a covenant when someone is baptized in the church, we make a covenant when we join the church, and when we marry.
We say and declare, “I choose you” when we covenant.

In baptism God says, “I choose you and we as the church remember our own baptism and say we choose God and we choose to love and encourage one another in the body of Christ.” The pastor lays hands and baptizes you in the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.

In a marriage a husband and wife choose one another for all time.

Covenants mean we are teaming up together.
They mean we are now abiding together.
They mean we are not alone.
They mean we are connected in a new and more powerful way.
They mean we are stronger together than alone.
And that is what this John 15 text tells us- Jesus says, “You did not choose me but I chose you.”

When our daughter Grace first started saying full sentences she would sometimes run over to us and throw her arms around and say, “I love you too!” completely out of the blue. We hadn’t said anything, yet she comes over and says, “I love you too!”
It got me thinking that- anything and everything we do is a response to what God has already done for us.
Anything we do is an I love you too to Christ- who first loved us.
Anything we choose now- is a response to Christ first choosing us.

Jesus chose you- He came and lived and died, and shared all this for you- so that His joy may be in you- so that your joy may be complete- so that you will love others the way he loves you- so that you may bear fruit for the kingdom- fruit that will last…

Tell someone next to you- Jesus chose you! Jesus chose you!
Say to yourself- Jesus chose me.

Our choice now is will we abide, will we love, will we bear fruit?

Will we choose to be changed?

Christ chose us – and we can choose a life of joy when we respond to his love.

The response flows first from his love – from Christ choosing us.

When we remember that Christ says, “I chose you.”
We remember and know that it isn’t about us- we remember that
the power
the love
the grace
- doesn’t come from us.
It flows and responds back- it becomes a reflection of what Christ has done in us.

The word of God came to Jeremiah the prophet and he said, “Ah Lord God! Truly I do not know how to speak, for I am only a boy.” But the Lord said, “Do not say I am only a boy; for you shall go to all to whom I send you, and you shall speak whatever I command you. Do not be afraid…for I am with you to deliver you.” (Jeremiah 1: 6-8).

Have you ever felt like Jeremiah?
Do you say I’m only? Only young, only old, only a mom, only a dad, only single, only divorced, only widowed, only rich, only poor, only a kid, only a teen…
When I began answering my call to ministry, I was in my first years of college and I had been drawn to the chapel, to the hymns, to God’s word, I was feeling called to ministry—but didn’t understand how that could be possible…and my chaplain spoke with me and began asking if I had considered a call to ministry—I thought- yes, but How could God want me? There was just too much wrong with me that I could list… too much that was , “But I’m only this or that.. only me.”
And its just that –that Jesus says, “I choose! I choose you I want you- all of you.” The only thing you are to Christ is his chosen to be redeemed, to be changed, to be built up for the kingdom, to abide in him, and bear fruit.

Its pretty hard to wrap our minds around- especially if we’ve been told we weren’t wanted – weren’t chosen by others… especially if others said we were too much of this or not enough of that…

It’s easy to think we don’t have it in us- that we don’t have the words or the skills, the knowledge, or the strength. It is easy to become weary, to feel not good enough, to be weighted with all that is left undone, all that remains to do—that’s all shame.
Its all the weight of going it alone- its fear- its worry
- it consumes us rather than completing us.

And Christ is here to make your joy complete.
And Christ has come and called you --chosen you and filled you
And given you the Word that has cleansed you so that you may say,
“I am not ashamed of the gospel; it is the power of God
for salvation to everyone who has faith.”

God
Calls out to you- saying, “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you.”

Christ
Chooses you-saying, “You did not choose me, but I chose you.”

Christ connects you- - saying, “Abide in me.”

Christ uses you for the sake of the Gospel-saying-
“Those who abide in me and I in them bear much fruit,
because apart from me you can do nothing.”

You are called, you are chosen, you are connected!

Will you choose to abide?
Will you bear fruit?
Will you choose to be changed?

And experience a life of joy?
It’s a life where you are teamed up with Christ?
A life where you can be complete in the joy of Jesus Christ?
A life where you no longer feel the shame of what others have to say
- because you can stand and say, Christ chooses me! I am not ashamed!

That’s what happens for you when you choose to abide in the Christ who has already chosen you.

Let us Pray:

Jesus, We love you too! Let our lives reflect our love for you. Thank you for loving us, thank you for choosing us. As you have chosen us, let us choose you. Let us answer your call to follow your commandments and love one another. Let us be yoked with you and one another bound together with you in the Body of Christ so that we may be fruit that will last for your kingdom. Let us here at Messiah always remember you, follow you, and share your joy with all the world…living a life of joy. In the name of our Savior, Jesus Christ, all your children said, Amen.

I invite you – if you’ve been struggling- or if you simply need a reminder.
I invite you to come and pray as we sing this final hymn
“Oh, I Know the Lord’s Laid His Hands on Me.”
I invite you to come and to feel that the Lord has laid his hands on you,
Christ has called, chosen, and connected you to him.
I invite you to know and abide in him and live a life of joy.
I invite you to know who you are and where you belong.
I invite you as you reminder you are chosen.
I invite you to chose a life of joy abiding in Christ.

Storytime Joys

2010-06-07T18:31:00.000-07:00

Tonight was so fun getting the kids down. Of course it was all my energy- but good energy. We've all been sick- with the exception of Gracie. Sophia with pneumonia, ear infection, and pink eye. I had a sinus infection that is now an ear infection and Kevin has the sinus infection- but WE ARE On the MEND! Today Sophia was without fever, Grace was in a great mood! And I cooked dinner! I had the energy to cook a dinner! WOW! I have done little other than make a small thing and heat up other stuff or throw in a pizza and steam veggies... Now I didn't make some wonderful Food Network worthy meal- but I made a delicious pasta sauce with lots of veggies and Tortellini (which Kevin and the girls love!) It was yummy. I also love a meal that is all in one bowl!

Also the girls played with Play Doh while I cooked. Gracie had gotten a Word World Play Doh set for her birthday that Kevin and I were a little worried to bring out- with the fear that play doh would end up in the parsonage rug....Guess what!? It didn't. I was so tired and really needed to cook- I pulled it out guessing it would be a fun fun activity- and it was!! I put aluminum foil over their little table and asked them to play with the play doh only there...and they did! At one point Gracie brought it into the kitchen and I reminded her where I wanted her to play and she said, "Okay,sorry Mommy." I said- its okay- you don't need to say your sorry. She is such a sweet sweet kid!

Afterwards- I let the girls play a bit and cleaned up sort of and then we went to take a bath- I lured them upstairs with the hope of bubbles. Last night I got a bit of energy and cleaned the bathtub and our bathroom so now that was clean- really clean- not just Clorox wipe clean- but scrubbed clean. I had left the counters, floor and toilet so while the girls played in the bath - and shared SO well! I cleaned the rest of the bathroom. It was awesome! Gracie kept saying- "Here Sophie, you can have this one." very very sweet. And Sophia kept hugging Gracie and rubbing bubbles on her. They were so so sweet. Then Gracie swam (after we removed all toys) and she "taught" Sophia how too. Adorable!

Off to bedtime- I had the hairdryer which they each loved running around me laughing in the warmth. Sophia especially liked it hitting her bottom :) Then stories- they picked out three- "Are you My Mother?"; a Care Bear book about Sharing; a book called "Violet's House"; and "A Pocket for Corduroy" --ok so four - Sophia also brought up "Bear Snores On" towards the end and we compromised that I would read Sophia "Bear Snores On" and Gracie would wait for me in her bed and I'd read her "A Pocket for Corduroy" after that. Sophia decided she didn't want a book- read here- Sophia threw herself on the ground, pounded the floor and screamed for Daddy...then when I put her in the crib said Mommy hold me - then when I held her screamed for Daddy... so she went to bed- after three binkys (God willing we will break this soon). Kiss goodnight to Sophia and an "I love you" over screaming and off to Grace's room.

This time I turned off the light and we read by her night light (who she calls "Guy") and we read "A Pocket for Corduroy" - I read it twice and then when she said read again- I suggested she read it. "No- you Mommy." Okay- so I start reading. "No- I read it!" Okay, that sounds great. She opens the book and stares at the first page and says, "I can't understand!", in a very frustrated tone. I said, "That's okay- I'll help you." So we read it again while I read a few words at a time and she repeated. So So cute. And there are some tough words in that- like "hesitantly", "Laundromat", and a few others...After half the book she didn't want to repeat after me any more, because she kept yawning! (note to self- this is a good way to get her to sleep!!) But when it was time for me to go- We said our prayers, sang our song, and off I went! It was huge! Usually she wrestles on top of me- sits on top - and says, "I got you! Now you can't go!" Nope- I just walked out easy as can be. She asked for water a minute after- of course. But nothing after that. Since we got back from CA last week- we have not had easy nights going down.

Storytime is my favorite part of the day-- I love mornings too- we all snuggle in bed and watch Sesame Street, Higleytown Heroes, or something...but at night- we are all clean and smelling good in clean pjs, they are silly, we're awake but getting tired, they sit on my lap and I read- or I sit and they run around while I read until they eventually do sit. Grace is sitting down to listen more and more. And its so fun to interact with the story!

I love when I read "the baby bird jumped" and I ask the girls, "How do you jump?" And they giggle and jump! I love asking her questions about the story and hearing her take on what we've read. I love hearing them say, "SNORT!" and laughing hysterically. I love reading the Sharing book (I can't remember the title - I think its something like "The Day Nobody Shared"- and asking Gracie about sharing and she goes off on a tangent about how she and Sophia shared something or other.

Bedtime is sometimes really hard- Sophia of course was screaming and crying but was out after I closed the door- She was asleep before I finished the first reading of "Corduroy"- but tonight- bedtime was so lovely. Storytime was a gift. A gift to read with Grace and hear her saying the words on the page and excited about wanting to read!

I love how I just went and checked on Sophia and her behind is way up in the air, her head in the corner, her mattress is elevated since she's been sick. Her poor bum has been hurt by this illness so she is airing out tonight atop a few towels. She sleeps soundly- a few coughs, but less than last night, after four days of medicine, and a nice baby vapor bath, and a bit of neosporin under her raw nose. She sleeps without even the snore she's had earlier this week.

My sweet sweet girls, nestled in their beds, after a joyous fun with play doh, a dinner where everyone had at least 3 bites and a bit more (this is huge some nights), and a fun bubbly bath, stories and stories, songs, prayers, kisses, and lots of love.
Thank you Jesus for my girls.

The importance of Sisters

2010-05-10T19:11:00.000-07:00

A wonderful friend shared this with me and I found it incredibly powerful, so I share it with you now:

We All Need Sisters
Moms, daughters, daughters-in-law, sisters-in-law, grandmothers, aunts, nieces, cousins, and extended family, all bless our lives!
A young wife sat on a sofa on a hot humid day, drinking iced tea and visiting with her mother. They talked about life, marriage, and the responsibilities of adulthood.

The mother clinked the ice cubes in her glass thoughtfully, turned a clear, sober glance upon her daughter and said:

"Don't forget your sisters,' she advised, swirling the tea leaves to the bottom of her glass. 'They'll be more important as you get older. No matter how much you love your husband, no matter how much you love the children you may have, you are still going to need Sisters. Remember to go places with them now and then; do things with them.'

'Remember that 'sisters' means ALL the women in your life... your girlfriends, your daughters, and all your other women relatives too. 'You'll need other women. Women always do.'

What a funny piece of advice!' the young woman thought. Haven't I just gotten married? Haven't I just joined the couple-world? I'm now a married woman, for goodness sake! A grownup! Surely my husband and the family we may start will be all I need to make my life worthwhile!'

But she listened to her mother. She kept contact with her sisters and made more women friends each year. As the years tumbled by, one after another, she gradually came to understand that her Mom really knew what she was talking about. As time and nature work their changes and their mysteries upon a woman, sisters are the mainstays of her life.

THIS SAYS IT ALL:
Time passes.
Life happens.
Distance separates.
Children grow up.
Jobs come and go.
Love waxes and wanes.
Men don't call when they say they will.
Hearts break.
Parents die.
Colleagues forget favors.
Careers end.

BUT... Sisters are there, no matter how much time and how many miles are between you. A girl friend is never farther away than needing her can reach.

When you have to walk that lonesome valley and you have to walk it by yourself, the women in your life will be on the valley's rim, cheering you on, praying for you, pulling for you, intervening on your behalf, and waiting with open arms at the valley's end.

Sometimes, they will even break the rules and walk beside you...Or come in and carry you out.

The world wouldn't be the same without women. When we began this adventure called womanhood, we had no idea of the incredible joys or sorrows that lay ahead. Nor did we know how much we would need each other.

Every day, we need each other still

Best Mother's Day Ever!

2010-05-08T18:34:00.000-07:00

I had an awesome Mother's Day!
Sophia and I had a fun time (my early riser) at the Men's Breakfast! I then had a pastoral meeting at Starbucks afterwards, but Kevin brought the girls to me in our new Radio Flyer wagon!! (this thing is so awesome- seats, seat belts, cup holders inside and out- and it was "tricked out" with princess chairs, bubble swords, and kites) Earlier this week I told Kevin that I wanted to have a fun family day out with a picnic. We had SO much fun at Burke Lake Park! I'll put up some pics soon!

We came home, napped, and then went to dinner at Austin Grill! We had a giftcard! (I love using those for the right times :)

We dropped off Kevin so he could see West Springfield High perform "Fiddler on the Roof" at least 5 of our youth are in it! And I took the girls home for baths and bed!

We did well- Sophia did not poop in the tub today! The other day- Thursday this week after covering themselves in yogurt at lunch we were a bit sticky so we took baths but in the middle of the bath- Sophia pooped- Everybody out- Clean the tub! But while I cleaned the tub and they ran around naked and she let a bit more go...so after cleaning tub- I cleaned the carpet. All the while I was saying to Grace and Sophia, "Don't touch it!" and Grace kept saying, "We don't touch it and we don't eat it! We don't touch poopy and we don't eat poopy! Its yucky!" I said yes that's right! strange to say but quite correct... But we had a great bath then and a great bath tonight.

But after our bath tonight while I was getting Gracie in pjs Sophia pooped! aghh - I did get her to the potty- so that was cool- and was able to clean up poop and encourage on the potty at the same time. And teach Gracie about encouragement. I'm next to Sophia saying "Great job!" and I asked Gracie to "encourage" her too and say "Good Job Sophie" and Gracie did it and I said- you are encouraging her can you say "encourage" and she said, "Yes! I like to encourage!" sooo cute.... all the while Lucy found her way to the piece of poop that I couldn't get to just two feet away and ATE it!!! Crazy dog!! Not that this hasn't happened before- but usually it involved her finding a stray diaper... and never in front of us- I thought- well there you go Gracie already knows about how we shouldn't eat poop!! lol We all said, "Bad dog! and Gracie put Lucy in time out!" hilarious! After cleaning up the carpet, I got Sophia into diaper and pjs and Gracie brought Lucy back to me- leading her by the collar. Gracie: "Mommy, Lucy is sorry. She's ready to come back." I said, "Okay- Lucy sit down. Do you know what you did? (she looked very remorseful) We do not eat poop! That is a no no- now shake, okay- we forgive you- but do not lick us! ugh"

After getting the girls down- I actually brushed Lucy's teeth! It was just too gross for me to be around her. I know they have special doggy toothpaste- but I don't have that- I didn't use enough to hurt her- but enough to clean her... it was just too gross.

After everyone was in pjs we read books- one of our favorites now is If Jesus Came to Visit Me, we also read a book about Dinosaurs that was Kevin's as a kid-it is awesome- helps you sound out their names and tells about what they ate etc., and a book about Beavers, and then the girls preceded to tuck me in- by covering me with every blanket, led prayers, sang to me, hugged and kissed me goodnight, all the while jumping on me, rolling over me and each other, and giving me every stuffed animal in the room. Grace said several times, "Sophia is SOOO cute!" Sophia was crawling up on our big red chair to get more animals that were up on top and Gracie kept saying, "Sophia, be careful," in this very caring hushed voice.

The girls finally went to sleep after snuggling together in Sophia's bed for about 10 minutes. Grace kept saying "Two more minutes" and then when I said it was finally time she said, "Mommy, just one little minute." Then it was time for everyone to be in their own bed and crying ensued.
I snuggled with each one a bit. Sophia played a game of wanting to snuggle in the rocking chair, then the big red chair, then on the floor, and then said, "House- play with house (doll house) No time for bed- crying-- I love you! Sang our song and left with crying.
Then on to Grace- we snuggled and she kept whispering to me and laughing- this girl was made for sleep overs! Then we sang the good night song- I sang to her, she sang to me, she sang our song for Sophia and for Daddy...then I said time for me to go to bed.
She laid on top of my head- it was like a classic wrestling move! While "pinning" me she began to tickle me and say "You're stuck! You have to stay heeerrrreee!"(imagine said sing songy) I could not stop laughing!!! But I finally peeled her off of me- hugged and kissed- prayed one more time- and left. As I left she said, "Mommy WAIT! I have to tell you something (this is her new thing) Yes? "Jesus loves you! And Jesus loves me, and Jesus loves Sophia, and Jesus loves Daddy, and Jesus loves Grandma, and Jesus loves Pop Pop, and Jesus loves Uncle Rick, and Jesus loves Lucy, and Jesus loves All the people." Its really impossible to stop smiling around here...

Epilogue:
Sophia went out about 8:30 and about quarter till 9 I heard Gracie crying so I checked again- she had pooped in her pull up! of course- POOP! but How cute was she! She said, "Sophia had a bad poop and now I have a baaad poop! Mommy, sometimes that just happens! Poop happens!" I lost it! I was rolling on the floor laughing so hard!

Clearly- the best day! Best Mother's Day so far! Every day around her can feel like mother's day- with Kevin for an amazing husband and girls like mine!
Thanks to God for my awesome family!

Growing in Grace and Wisdom

2010-05-06T19:45:00.000-07:00

Part of may day today was rough. Really really rough. But that was the later part of the day. But other than this rough spot I had an awesome day with my girls.
I started the day attending an amazing National Day of Prayer Breakfast! Will write later on that...
Then I had an amazing day with Grace and Sophia.
Then the rough part.
But then I took a prayer shawl to my friend and neighbor.
Then we went out as a family- We walked around shops, ate at CiCi's Pizza (kids were free for Mother's Day coupon!), and laughed a lot. It was great for us to get out and play. We needed it.

The joy of my day- comes from God and my family. I felt God working in me throughout the day.
My girls- Grace and Sophia teach me, cheer me, and give me the gifts of witnessing God's presence.

The girls said and did so - so many cute things today.

I grabbed a scrap piece of paper and jotted them down- here they are:

I was vacuuming- stopped for a minute- and she pointed and Sophia said, "Messy Messy Messy Dog Hair's messy" and thought- how true!!! but Lucy is worth it.

Gracie soon woke up and liked helping me vacuum. She especially liked to turn it off and on. She turned it off and said, "Mommy, I'm going to talk for "one small little minute" and she told me that I had two eyes and pretty hair. Then she turned the vacuum back on for a few seconds....Then said, "Mommy, now I'm to talk for a BIG minute." And we had a longer conversation where we then decided to stop vacuuming! :)

Shortly after that Gracie found a piece of paper she had colored on earlier today, picked it up, and ran over saying, "Look! It's AMAZING!" and I said, "Wow, It's AMAZING?" and she said, "Yeah, I do that sometimes."

The other day Sophia and I were snuggling in the morning and Daddy had gone to the guest room. Gracie woke up and and came to snuggle too and Sophia was so excited reached out to hug her and said, "I love you Sissy!!!"

SO cute!

They truly keep me going- they make me smile when other things don't.

Thanks to God for children- they truly do show us the kingdom of God!

The downside of Passion

2010-04-15T09:54:00.000-07:00

I am passionate.
I'm passionate about Jesus and sharing his love and helping others to see, know, experience, and share His love.
So- I'm passionate about the kinds of things that help me to do that!

We have a new website we have launched and I'm passionate about that because it helps us to share the power of Christ and how God's transformed our lives, given us grace, and blessed us with more than we can imagine. I want people to see the community of contagious joy that is so prevalent at Messiah and this new site will help us do that more effectively, and so I'm passionate about it. It isn't just a website- its a venue to those seeking real community, real, change, real life that is more worth living than they've ever imagined! Life is so much more...palpable, real, sacred... The great hymn "He Lives" says "And life is worth living just because He lives!" Its hard to understand that for some people, but they can see it in our lives, experience in our love, and see, know, experience God's love too!

I'm passionate about the new organ we are getting! We have a loaner organ now that does 30% of what the new organ will do. I am not a musician, or a singer (really) I love to sing (but not alone in front of people!-however I will if called to). I love to sing and praise God! I can make a joyful noise! I even sang in the Gospel Ensemble at my home church in Detroit- Central UMC. I actually had my own "Sister Act" moment when my choir director got a sound out of me that sounded amazing!
For me the new organ is not just an organ- it's part of our mission to share God's love and joy with the world. I am in awe of our Music Ministry - we have over 200 people actively involved in our Music Ministry and our community concerts reach over 1000 people a year! Just last night in our P.o.L.O's (Parents of Little One's) Small Group one woman shared how the part of her faith that brings her the most joy is sharing her faith through music- when she plays in the orchestra, hand bells, etc. We've raised $125,000 so far for the organ fun- and we are a third of the way to fully funding this important part of our ministry!

I'm passionate about the upcoming Women's Retreat, about holding people when they are going through cancer, guiding a couple as they begin he journey to marriage, celebrating a new child in the world, holding and crying with someone when they have lost their son and helping them to celebrate his life...

I'm most passionate about my beautiful girls and the joy they bring me! Today Gracie offered a "Princess Prayer" for lunch: "Dear God, thank you for princesses, for Easter, and candy, and eggs, and for me, and Sophia, and Mommy, and Daddy, and Lucy (our dog), and for loving me, and food. AMEN!" We ate princess soup... I love that I get a whole day with them on Thursdays just me and them.

So what's the downside to passion?
Exhaustion, having to get all the other stuff done (laundry, bills, grocery shopping, all the paper that has to be filed!!)
But that's really nothing compared to the biggest downside of being passionate--
A lot of times people seem to be passionate, excited, intrigued, ignited to want to know more when I share what I'm passionate by.... and that is awesome! But sometimes they aren't. Sometimes I am met with indifference. Sometimes I see apathy. And that is really tough. I don't run into it a lot (and I'm very blessed by that). But when I see it does get me down. It doesn't take away my passion... no-- but it does frustrate me, it does test my patience.

Let me be clear- apathy and indifference isn't the same thing as people who disagree with me- no I love them (and I love the indifferent people too...it just requires extra grace). And maybe sometimes its not a fully blown indifference.... Part of me struggles knowing that I have high expectations and that I can be a perfectionist (clearly not about everything if you've seen my house!) But about the important things... I want things done right (that doesn't mean things have to be done my way) but I want things to glorify God!

I want things to invite people in- I want my life and how I live, and I want the church to be a place of invitation, welcome, a space for peace to come, for anxiety to be lifted, and for Christ's light to reveal beauty, and the Holy Spirit to guide, equip, and transform people to live in and into the kingdom of God. Now I know that I can't always do that- not alone-- I need God to nudge me when I need to rest, retreat, and when I need to be pushed and I need the Body of Christ through my faith community to do that too. I have wonderful people who kind of serve as "protectors" and they see me when I'm getting exhausted and remind me to rest... But they can't protect me from encountering those downsides to passion.

The website is an example-- we're not able to do everything I'd like it to do- or we don't have all the pictures I'd like to have up...or whatever-- I have to be patient. That's hard because I'm passionate about.

When you're really really passionate about something-- part of that is because you have this deep deep belief that there is something at stake!

This is important--for a reason-- and it just burns in you- you have a fire in you! For me that fire is the Holy Spirit just flaming - just wanting to love people and love em' really love em' - to love them like Jesus loves them. And I just want people to see it, know it, hear it, and experience it.

What's at stake? People feeling the isolation, alienation, separation, lonliness, fear, darkness, chaos, distress, shame, hurt, ...and so much more of not experience recognizing, seeing, knowing, experiencing God's presence in their lives.

The biggest struggle with it all is when others don't see the value or importance of something that I see value and importance in. It will always happen- and part of me loves this challenge and part of me struggles deeply with it. And it happens all them time- with websites, organs, being in a small group, having faith at all...but the worst thing is when people don't see the value and importance of one another or themselves.

That's the hardest- because God sees it- and God is really passionate about loving us and seeing us the way God created us- in His image.

Theological Education

2010-04-12T18:40:00.000-07:00

Obviously, I have not written in a while-- mainly a lot has happened since October-- The biggest being I wrote my Ordination Papers, went before the Board of Ordination and have been recommended for Ordination- June 14!! And then there was Lent and Holy Week!!
SO I'm back-- and hopefully will be more active.

Lately- I've felt the need to reflect on theological education.

Theological Education is a gift.
I am thankful for my theological education-- I glean from it in my everyday life.
Through the power of the Holy Spirit, God equips in ministry and works through this education-- so that I may keep working to equip others in the work of ministry.

I feel incredibly blessed to have been able to experience this, throughout my experience in seminary I kept thinking, "I wish everyone got to do this!"
Of course- not everyone does- nor would everyone want to read Cyprian, Luther, or Kierkegaard. At least- they might not think they want to-- but perhaps when shared they would be surprised to learn, hear, experience, the power of these words, concepts, and experiences of God.

I love my Disciple Bible Study class and we are having a great time together! They are reading sermons of John Wesley, asking tough questions, but more importantly-- they are sharing-- and doing so in a way that reveals they want to know more, seek to grow further, and depend on one another in deeper ways. I am thankful for the ways they teach me and the ways we learn together.

I feel frustrated when people use their theological education in ways that shame others, condescend to them, rather than use it to share, to equip, to ignite passion for Christ. I am annoyed with people use their education to boost their own sense of power rather than to empower others.

Last summer, Kevin and I attended a worship service on vacation where the Youth Pastor (who was in seminary at the time) used a slew of theological terms including Theotokos - a term for Mary, the mother of Jesus. Just threw it out there, like theological name dropping. Kevin and I looked at one another and rolled our eyes, the people in front of us whispered, and family sitting next to us checked out. For me this feels like a lack of humility on one's behalf and lack of respect for one's parishioners.

Lately, I feel like when I witness this kind of behavior it makes me angry-- because it feels so belittling. Our congregants are smart, faithful, incredible people. There is a failure in theological education when we become too cocooned in "theological elitism" that we can't or don't or refuse to relate to "normal" folks. DO we forget that we're normal? That we aren't special just because we've attended seminary, been licensed, commissioned, or ordained? Set apart and called doesn't mean better.

It is wonderful that we have been given the gift of study, that some of us have gifts of biblical and language studies. I love that I'm dorky enough to enjoy reading Wesley's sermons- that I love checking out reading 22 books on Job (and suffering the library fines that comes with)-- but just because everyone doesn't enjoy that doesn't mean I'm smarter, or more ... closer to God.

Gnosis- is the Greek word for knowledge--- people were called Gnostics who believed they had special knowledge. So often, it seems that sometimes we (all people) act, talk as if they are Gnostics. But the Gospel is not hidden-- we are not preaching the Gospel if in doing so those who hear it feel stupid, ashamed, limited, unworthy of being able to know the Gospel. We are all limited- we are all in need of learning more. My chaplain, Rev. Stuart Jackson at Birmingham-Southern used to say, "In Christianity, we're all in first grade." But sometimes I think we don't act that way...I love the story from Acts chapter 8 where Phillip goes and meets the Ethiopian Eunuch who is reading the bible and Phillip talks with him and helps him to understand what he is reading. They come by some water and the eunuch says, "Look, here is water. Why shouldn't I be baptized?"And he gave orders to stop the chariot. Then both Philip and the eunuch went down into the water and Philip baptized him. When they came up out of the water, the Spirit of the Lord suddenly took Philip away, and the eunuch did not see him again, but went on his way rejoicing." Why shouldn't I be baptized? The salvation of Christ is not open just for some, but all- the ability to know God is not limited to only certain people- there is no sign that says, "You must have this masters degree, or know the original Greek/Hebrew..." These are good things, and they are able to help equip ourselves and others to know, experience, and share the Gospel. But we do a disservice when we act as if it is a requirement to know God, to have faith, or to be considered smart.

It is my job to interpret this kind of stuff and to make it accessible to others. Its my job to demystify, to help people know they can understand God's Word, they can experience a relationship with Christ, they can read the Bible and understand, they can think deeply.

Its my job to help people understand they are part of a "priesthood of all believers"-- to experience that they needn't be an "expert" to think theologically.

Its my job to teach my congregation to think and reflect theologically on their lives, their faith, and to learn to be gleaners of God-experiences-- to be theologians in their own right and to be empowered to know, share, and teach among people in their communities sound theology.

If they don't understand in some way--I've not succeeded. Not everyone is going to have the same reaction and have the same passion- some will be fascinated by the Wesley's sermons, or Biblical Criticism, or want to learn more about the archeology surrounding Jerusalem, or they may doubt and ask more questions-no mater what-- my hope is that they will be ignited in passion, that they will grow deeper, and that they will pass this on to others in inviting, approachable, ways that meet others where they are and love them.

Balance

2009-10-10T19:35:00.000-07:00

Last week I did a retreat on Balance for UMW and I will be leading the same retreat next weekend for another UMW. The idea of the retreat grew out of a retreat I lead on "Becoming a Woman of Wisdom" where we did one workshop on balance and everyone said, "We need a whole retreat on this!" So I'm working towards a 3 day retreat!

Balance is hard. Balance is hard for anyone- and it has been a "growing edge" for me for a while now.

People seem to have a lot of assumptions about what balance means. At least I think they do... Balance is NOT status quo- Balance is not stagnet--
Balance is being held-
balance is having peace in the midst of turmoil-
Balance is living in Creation when there is chaos-
Balance is abiding--
Balance is assurance.

Recently when someone learned that I had done a retreat on balance they kind of chuckled and said, "That's ironic." It's not that I'm offended by this statement, rather its just that I think it represents the misperceptions we have about balance. I am Beth a child of God- I'm a mom, I'm a wife, I'm a pastor- I'm a sister and a friend. Being balanced means some days I lean more on one of those than the other. But what do I live in- stay in- what never changes- what is always constant- God- and me being a child of God. I will always be a Mom, wife, sister, friend too-- but I was made in the Image of God. I was baptized into the Body of Christ. Even when I stray, even when I fail- God does not. And when I am abiding in Christ, it will all come together.

I may spend a week doing all the great pastor stuff- maybe its a week of long meetings leading up to an event- maybe its a week with a funeral or wedding- or who knows? Some weeks I take vacation and I turn off my phone and if something happens at church I do not know about it...when my children are sick- the world stops for me until they are well. I have screened calls when I am spending quality time with my husband. I love my friends and I will stop whatever is going on to be with them, hold them and love them. I have a husband who is an amazing man--he is a complete and equal partner--when I have a heavy load, he helps me to carry it and vice versa.

We have a community of faith- who are part of the Body of Christ- a community that truly lives out how to abide in Christ - who helps us hold our load too. When we have been hungry they have provided meals, they provide childcare so that we may serve without worrying- in fact we serve knowing that our children's lives are filled with more people who love them! Kind people have helped me with mountains of laundry, housecleaning, and most importantly held me in prayer.

When I think of balance- I know Jesus. And I know that Jesus says, "Come to me all who are weary and heavy laden, and I will give you rest." Jesus says- lay it down at my feet- give it to me- I know that Jesus says that the load he gives is light. I think of the wisdom of Ecclesiastes I remember that to enjoy life- to really enjoy life and live in the Joy that makes us complete (John 15:11) it means to know there is a time for each and every thing under heaven. There is a season for everything- Sometimes we have multiple seasons within a year, a month, a week, even a day...

Some days I am wiping snotty noses, writing a sermon, cooking, cleaning, cuddling, and loving all in one day. Some days I am visiting the sick, refereeing conflict resolution, and giving time outs to a two year old- all in one day. But each day- I am rooted to Christ and I am rooted in to the Body of Christ and I am living into the completeness Christ offers. Balance isn't being just one thing all the time, unless that one thing is a child of God- encompassing all the ways God calls you. And Thanks be to God for that!

Life in a Fishbowl

2009-07-14T19:29:00.000-07:00

It has been a very crazy summer! I have enjoyed the learning experience and the journey God has given me as Acting Senior Pastor- I'm learning a lot- I'm growing a lot- and I'm praying a lot. I have long days. Self care has always been a "growing edge" for me... but it is much harder these days. I've had about 3 funerals, hospital visitations, a lay person need to let go of committee chair responsibilities, and a staff persosn resign (for a great opportunity) but nevertheless... a lot... My dinner time with my family has become sacred - it has always been important- but these days- it is sacred. It is often the one hour break I get from 8am to 10pm (Yes I'm aware that that is bad and I need to get better)....

Anyway- today is the first time since I was appointed here in 2006 that living in a parsonage next door to the church has felt like a fish bowl-- or worse.
Someone came by at 6:30pm without calling, I opened the door, said hello and they came in. I didn' t invite them in- they just came in and started talking. I called my husband down to talk because he knew what this guest was talking about and I didn't. I wish now that I had just said, "This isn't a good time- this is dinner." Kevin is too nice sometimes. But I don't know-- I just didn't think... I took the kids and started bath. I had to be at a committee meeting at 7:30. I soon called Kevin from upstairs and he didn't come up to the third time! ugh! I shared my frustration. I don't think I've been so mad in awhile. I felt so violated by this intrusion and mad at myself that I said nothing and mad that Kevin said nothing. I think we were just caught off guard. This was my time to recharge. This was sacred!

In no uncertain terms I will discuss tomorrow with calmness, but sternness that this is not acceptable. There should be some part of my day that I can have just for me- just for my family. There should be some part of my life that the church cannot have. I offer a lot, I give a lot-- and I am happy to do so. It frustrates me that i have to advocate for everything- you have to ask for everything- lay out everything. Maybe that is not fully true and it just feels that way. Sometimes it just feels like there isn't anything that is basic--that is understood--that you don't have to fight for...

I'm learning a lot, I'm praying a lot, I'm learning to value my sabbath time and now I will guard it more closely. Good things to learn...it just sucks when you learn them...

Thankful and Tired

2009-06-24T21:05:00.000-07:00

I am so tired and so thankful. Every day is amazing and full. Every day I encounter people who show me the joy and light of God--folks who fill me with inspiration and encourage me and everyday there are people who say belittling things because of my age, gender, my mommyness... Through it all God has really enveloped me, held me, guided me. Sometimes you're so tired - even when it is a good tired-- that you just fall down, you just need a good cry, you just need to be held to remember that you're doing okay.

What is it about sitting in a bathroom that is so comforting? I mean something about sitting on and among the cool tile is comforting. Maybe I'm just odd-- but I loved being able to sit in the bathroom, have a good cry, and vent to my husband tonight. Nothing bad happened today- in fact it was awesome- amazing God moments-- but one person said some things that chinked my armor...Why do I let that one thing get me down? Ugh! And you know, that person probably had no idea and no intention...I know that. Its silly.

Maybe the cool tile, the hard and soft of the smooth service-- the quiet of the bathroom- it forces me to be be still. The bathroom is like the Mom's haven.
I just laid on the floor for a while and cried for joy, ,for thankfulness, for tiredness, for frustration and reminded my husband how very much I need him...and he listened...and it was wonderful.

I was thankful today as Kevin and I sat in our church's sanctuary working together on the dialogue sermon we will preach on Sunday.
I was frustrated with him and feeling pressed for time. He was having a rough day and couldn't focus b/c he'd forgotten to take his ADD meds-- and I was frustrated b/c he wasn't focused-- (vicious cycle). But we got it all out- we felt God working- and we got some good work done. It brought back so many good memories of sitting in the chapel at Birmingham-Southern all night discussing everything life: God, family, literature, politics during our early days. We were engaged and married in that chapel. And now here we are again in another round sanctuary sitting on the floor under the cross discussing, debating, interrupting, challenging and getting to the root of what our life means.

Back in the day we made mix tapes. Remember those? There was something so great a/b a mix tape! Even better than a mix CD- you can't skip ahead there is a reason everything is flowing together in a right and somehow perfectly ordained order. I made a mix tape for Kevin with the Sheryl Crow song, "Are you Strong Enough to be My Man" I had had many tell me how passionate, strong, and opinionated I was and that I was "too much" for them. I knew I would never sacrifice my passion and strength.

I am thankful because Kevin is strong enough for me. I get frustrated and impatient, every day I learn what it means to be a clergy couple, parents to two very young children, and the wife of an amazing man who happens to have ADD, but he is strong enough to be my man and God is stronger than the both of us.

We sit in the strength of the cool tile, he listens and hears, we pray, we laugh, we hold one another knowing that we are strong because Christ strengthens us through all things.

Honeysuckles and Mint

2009-05-31T20:15:00.000-07:00

What a beautiful day! It was amazing, really. We had 29 people and families join at our 9:30 service and 30 Confirmands join at 11:00. We did a sabbatical Leave taking liturgy for our Sr. Pastor Ralph, who begins sabbatical tomorrow at all services. He's been in full time ministry for 35 years and has a well deserved break. I am very blessed to work with someone who is such a wonderful mentor. A few months back at a Lay Leaders meeting he referred to me as "Acting Sr Pastor" and then said, "We'll find you a fancier title." That sounded pretty fancy to me! The title has stuck and that is what our webpage now says.
Today I felt the power of the Holy Spirit as I watched the altar rail become filled with all the families at 9:30 and as I laid hands on all the 30 Confirmands at
11. And as I stood next to Ralph and prayed blessings upon him and heard the kind affirming words he offered for my leadership.

I could not stop smiling today. My cheeks hurt from the joy of the day and the Spirit's moving...

Once home we all napped! We got both girls down and we slept too. I felt like I should do more... that I should work on the sermon series that Kevin and I are going to share on the Apostles' Creed for June and then I'm going to preach a series in July called Camp Messiah, I should go over the prayer and visitation lists, I should organize my calendar, work on upcoming weddings, or clean the house! I cleaned the house till 1 in the morning Thursday night when Kevin was away for our dear friend Lance's wedding and you can't even tell now! But I napped- and I am so glad I did. We woke up and got ready to go again.

Kevin set up for youth and I took the girls to St. Matthew's for the District's orientation for Conference. I've never gone to the orientation because for the past few years I've been dealing with babies and without childcare. That hasn't changed, but I thought I'd give it a try. We made it through half the agenda - me standing in the way back and hearing all about what to bring, what to expect, upcoming constitutional amendments, and the cost of parking and then the kids began to melt. But it did work for awhile-- My older daughter played very nicely enjoying telling (and then asking nicely) me to sit here and there. She likes to say, "I sit down now.... [and] Mommy sit down here now." It's been a long phase, and I'm starting to give in if she asks nicely...We play musical chairs without the music.

But towards the end we went to the playground. She walked down the aisle in the sanctuary and saw an ant on the window and said, "No ant!" Why is it that you always think your child is so much louder than they actually are? I am one of those parents-- there are some who seem oblivious to the sounds of their children. The slightest peep and I am worried that I am disturbing others. It is fun for a PK to discover a new church. Literally- every church we pass when driving we hear from the back seat, "Church! Church! Church!" "I want to go to church!" St. Matthew's has fun playground equipment and we had fun discovering, but mostly we enjoyed the breeze, inspected bugs, jumped in puddles, and were embraced by breezes of honeysuckle and mint. I love watching my daughter bend down and smell. She really sniffs! She sniffs with gusto! In fact everything she does is with immense passion and joy.

When we got home the youth were playing volleyball in the yard. We got out our water table and joined in the fun! My girls splashed in the water, giggled, and we felt the wet grass between our toes mixed with the spongy carpet of moss. We ate pizza and giggled at dinner. We said our prayers and went to to sleep. Really, an amazing Day! I delight in God's creation! It nourishes me in ways I will never fathom...

I still feel myself hours later- cheeks still sore from smiling and the faintest scent still with me of the honeysuckle and mint from the playground. How precious when the wind blows to smell the sweet smells of summer.
The wind of the Holy Spirit is blowing on this Pentecost Day!
I am reminded to go outside, be open, move outside of myself, and breathe deep. God is here, all is well.

Almighty God, Keep me open to the Spirit moving, let me melted by tongues of fire, let your Holy Spirit ignite me, call me, and use me each and every day that I may serve you fully and share your joy! Amen.

Holy Week Has Begun

2009-04-05T19:09:00.000-07:00

I love Holy Week! It's strange-- and I guess sad, but it’s as if I finally awaken during Holy Week! I love the opportunity to walk with Jesus, to journey with him-- I love it and I dread it-- I shout for joy, Hosanna! and I cry out in mournful tears. I know what comes; I know the sadness I will feel. I know Jesus, and that makes it all the better. And at the end of the week- every time—I know Christ even more….

It's Holy Week and the journey has begun. I had an amazing day! My husband Kevin is away with a youth mission trip and I arose this morning to quickly get ready at 6:30 (not bad after going to bed at 1:30 am) I just can’t sleep when he’s away. I fed the dog, let her out and I prepared and packed breakfast for my girls. I packed the diaper bag. I got their dresses and shoes! I loaded the stroller. And then- I got the girls.

We wheeled over to the church- Yes! Praise God I live next door in a wonderful parsonage!

We have an amazing nursery staff- they greeted me at 7:15 as I arrived.

Every Sunday they greet me, they feed my girls, and they change them in their Sunday best. My girls are there from 7:15am to 12:30pm.

I dropped them off and made it in time for the prayer meeting with our "curmudgeons." We have a group of men who are known as Christ Curmudgeons and we meet for prayer about 7:20 on Sundays.

I met with our Sr. Pastor, gathered my notes, put on my robe, and managed to cover the under-eye circles.

Worship was amazing: 8:15, 9:30, 11!
The best part of Palm Sunday is always having all the children from Sunday School parade through at 9:30 and 11 waving their palm branches.

It was awesome! I was so excited to be there and to do the Kingdom Kids message! Some preachers don't like doing the kid's message-- I love it! When I was a kid, I often felt dismissed when I asked theological questions....(which I did)- I love nurturing a hunger for God in them!

Worship ends and I print the sermon I finished at 1:30am (hoping I can memorize it b/c I am trying something new for the contemporary service). I decided to write snapshots of eyewitness accounts. I did all the lectionary scriptures and interspersed monologues. Way new for me!

SO- I picked up the kids- one was already asleep and one was melting down. Too tired for lunch… down to sleep they went. I made a salad and sat down with my sermon. I packed their bag for the nursery again b/c I needed to be back at church by 2 to help set up for our spring concert. One of my wonderful friends Andrea came so that kid # 1 could finish her nap (she's a 12-3 sleeper). I take the baby back to the nursery, and we set up for punch, cookies-- a delicious reception!

Our Spring Concert began at 3pm and was amazing!
It was "The Armed Man: A Mass for Peace" by Karl Jenkins.
The choir and orchestra were unbelievable and one of our very talented members created a video to go with the music! Oh MY!
The mass is a movement of music that asserts that war is sometimes necessary, but we should have more peace and less war. The video images displayed military might, peace marches, war, and rebuilding peace. I had to leave during the "Charge" portion as the images of bombs dropping and war overcame me. I went to the chapel and I sobbed, I cried out to God and prayed for forgiveness. Forgiveness for all the violence, all the pain, the suffering, the death. I couldn't watch the bombs drop-- I just couldn't. I have all the respect in the world for those who work for our peace and protection and at the same time I am so tired of war and destruction. I made it back in the sanctuary after I pulled myself together. Unfortunately I missed the very end to go set up for the reception. Do my male clergy counterparts serve punch? It is who I am- not because I am a woman, more because I’m a southerner, but completely b/c I’m a Christian who loves to share hospitality. I love hospitality and I enjoy the surprise of -- You're a pastor!
I felt so strange at the reception- I wanted to process all I had seen and heard and yet instead I found myself greeting people. I exercised my back burner...and met some amazing people!

Okay- Next- picked kids up at the nursery (Andrea had brought Kid #1 to the nursery after her nap- but Oh Thank God for naps!) Stroll home- change- pack kids bags (milk, juice, baby food, formula, bottle, diapers, wipes, cream, pjs!) Off we go our friends' Brian and Rachel's house who have generously offered to watch my children in addition to their 3 girls. I change their diapers- gotta be dry- give hugs and kisses and head to preach the contemporary worship service- Heartline. I set the altar and prepare for communion.

I was super nervous about doing drama monologues- way out of my comfort zone- but so fun and so moving for me and hopefully it was those present-- we only had 16...Our contemporary service has been going for awhile-- I keeping hoping more will come! Usually another associate pastor preachers here, but he is with another mission group for the week in New Orleans.
We ended worship powerfully and I was thankful for the way God is ever present and for the Holy Spirit guiding me.

8:30pm -Off back to pick up the girls and take the home.

So thankful for good friends. Baby is asleep and my lively toddler was enraptured by the beautiful angel wings she was wearing!
I traded the wings for a piece of paper (Good trade!) and got everyone in car seats.

9:15pm
Home again- off to bed- milk, (no story tonight- it is late!) prayers, kisses, and hugs.

Everyone is down.
Praise the Lord for guidance, power, and sustenance!
I thank the Lord for friends, and community, for fellowship and being moved when I didn’t expect it—for working and restoring- for forgiveness and grace!

I cried today as I grieved the violence of our humanity and unplanned tears rolled as I shared monologues of an onlooker, Pilate, a soldier, Simon, and the Centurion….
I stood at the cross.
I was there.
I am in Holy Week.
And I walk with Jesus.
Thanks be to God for the journey!

You should have been paying attention...

2009-03-07T19:17:00.000-08:00

So yesterday, I was visiting a parishioner in the hospital. I pushed the up button, walked in the elevator and pressed 4. A man came in after me and I asked what floor he needed. He said Ground Floor, so I pushed “Ground Floor.” Bing! We’re at the 4th floor and he says, “What floor is this?” I said, “Fourth.” He said, “You should have been paying attention! I needed to go down!” I didn’t say a thing; I was a bit shocked and just walked out. It sunk in as I walked down the hall.

My first reaction- “I should have been paying more attention!” Umm, shouldn’t you have noticed that the elevator light above the elevator was lighted to go up? Or, possibly you noticed that the 4 button was already pushed when you came on the elevator?

Then I started to think—still somewhat annoyed….This is what we do, isn’t it? This is what people do? Something doesn’t go the way we want and we blame and guilt someone else. Right now it’s happening nationwide with the current economic crisis. The government blames the banks, the banks blame CEOS or loan holders, most people blame a lack of regulation coupled with anger at those who took loans they couldn’t afford. They thought they could afford it—at the rate they got- but the rate went up and so they couldn’t….Maybe they blame themselves for not thinking through the consequences of an adjustable rate mortgage, maybe they blame the bank for giving them the loan in the first place- who knows? Wherever we are- hopefully when it comes to this we’ll stop worrying about blame, and just work towards a recovery.

But not just in the credit crisis- we blame a lot. We don’t tell the truth enough and we don’t take responsibility.

Sometimes it seems easier. If we blame something or someone else we don’t have to hurt anyone’s feelings, we don’t have to come down one way or another with a decision, but ultimately we don’t tell the truth. We don’t take responsibility for our own actions or lack of action.

And now it is Lent. We journey to Good Friday where Christ took complete blame and complete responsibility at the same time for everything--- He didn’t need to do it, He was often rejected for doing so- still today He is rejected for this ultimate sacrifice. It came of pure love. No co-opting, no begging, no pleading, no manipulation. He freely gave, and freely took the pain, guilt, blame, sin for the whole world.

I just laugh thinking about the elevator situation. It is silly, it is benign, but it is powerful. My prayer is that it will remind me to be observant, aware, and responsible for my own actions and that I will not attempt to take on what is the responsibility of others.

I am Thankful

2009-02-09T21:59:00.000-08:00

Its been a hard week. A little more than a week now my oldest daughter has struggled with pneumonia. It has been horrible. I have been sick too with a mean sinus infection often leaving me to feel as though my head is in a vice. But I am thankful. God is good. I have felt strengthened in my marriage. I have an amazing husband who works really hard to be the best he can be. He is an unbelievably awesome Dad. In the middle of the night he has gotten up with the baby so I can focus on the doing breathing treatments every four hours with the pneumonia-stricken child. Breathing treatments that she hates! She writhes and screams and points to her crib and says, "Mommy Sleep!"
But I am thankful.
They are making her better.
I went to the doctor with her on Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday, and today. We thought she was doing better on Thursday and then Saturday she was the worst she'd been and then we got the steroid and anti-biotic.
I am thankful for good medicine and good doctors.
I was frustrated with my own feeling of inadequacy, with the lack of education, and my inability to ask all the "right" questions. But I am glad that I have doctors who do not attempt to throw hard medicine at a little one quickly. I understand the reasoning and I appreciate it-- even when it is hard.
I am thankful for my sister who came to help so I could be at church on Sunday and not be so much out of the loop. God used me a lot in the few hours I was there and I am thankful to be in service.
I am thankful for prayers! Oh I am thankful for all the prayers from my church, friends, and family.
I am thankful for Larry who brought us delicious food.
I am thankful for Rita who offered (and I accepted-huge!) to do my laundry when it seems the washing machine has broken.
I am thankful for Lorie who came and helped pick up the playroom my nieces destroyed and vacuumed too!
I am thankful for the peace I feel.
I am thankful because feeling peace I was able to then fold nearly 3 hours worth of clean laundry which then made me feel even more peaceful.
I am thankful for feeling better. I am thankful for my netty pot (what a great invention!)
I am thankful for a church and Sr. Pastor who understand the needs of sick babies.
I am thankful for God who loves us, who is sustaining me each and every day even when I am sleep deprived, my nose is raw, my tummy growling, and my sinuses stuffed- God is here - the Holy Spirit whispers soothing peace to me.
I am thankful. As I write this my dog sleeps at my feet and my husband snores, my children sleep safe in their cribs on this day at 1 in the morning.
I pray for children throughout the world who have no beds to sleep.
Who have no parents to be sleep deprived.
I pray for those who have no family.
I pray for those who feel all alone.
I pray for those who fear connection.
May God work in us, ignite us, and connect us to see, hear-- to awaken to the reality of love that is here- that comes in these powerful glimpses, these amazing people, these angels among us. Amen!

Gleanings from the Table

2009-01-23T22:05:00.000-08:00

These are some of the things that crossed my mind at dinner tonight.
No one told you before being a parent that:
1) It would be easier to feed the 7 month Sophia in a straight jacket. We don't have a straight jacket-- instead my husband Kevin used one arm to hold an arm down and I did the same while filling her with baby food peas. It's fun to watch her take the spoon and for peas to fling everywhere...but when you have meetings to run to after and a sermon to write-- it is less fun.

2)Dinner time music used to be some hip new band or cool background music Kevin found, then with Baby #1- now our Toddler Grace it became NPR (our only time to really get some good news). Now we listen to the Sesame Street Platinum favorites! My favorites are "Doing the Pigeon" by Bert and "Monster in the Mirror." The latter is quite theological....

3)Themed Bibs: Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter will not just be used on those special occasions. You have a clean bib? You use it. Tonight we dined with Grace wearing a Halloween bib and Sophia happened to get an Easter bib. Hmmm... Death and Resurrection?

4)Prayer without Ceasing: Grace loves to bless the meal and say AMEN with a head nod always. We pray several times throughout dinner. We all hold hands. Sophia is sitting on the table in the Bumbo seat, "BABY! BABY!" We must MUST have her hand. But that's not all-- "DOG!!DOG!" We call the dog. We need the dog' paw too. Then we pray. Everyone holding hands. Everyone connected. Every five minutes.

5)And speaking of the dog-- Wonderful Built in Hoover! We never realize how much until we actually go out and do our best to pick up always wondering, "Did we tip the waitress enough for all that?"

The Simple Life

2009-01-21T22:06:00.000-08:00

What is the simple life? No, I’m not talking about another reality show or a quick read magazine that assumes to tell us how to keep life “real simple.” When a lot of people hear simplicity, they think in extremes, often hearing instead “forced poverty.” Theologian Richard Foster, wrote “Asceticism and simplicity are mutually incompatible…Asceticism renounces possessions. Simplicity sets possessions in proper perspective.” The goal of simplicity is to be able to say with Paul, “I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want”(Philippians 4:12). To experience the peace of simplicity and the joy of contentment God calls us to release addictions and tear down burdens so we may live in the freedom Christ offers.

Prayer for Simplicity and Contentment

2009-01-21T17:26:00.000-08:00

Almighty and all powerful God,
We fill our lives with work, projects, and pleasures and we have become weighted
down. Lord, we confess that we too often align contentment with mediocrity.
We have allowed our lives to be anchored to a debt of materialism rather than
Christ. Let us unclutter our lives, unbind our hearts, and seek you first.
Liberate us, let nothing separate us; let nothing come between our soul and our Savior Jesus Christ, In whose name we gather and in whose name we pray. Amen.

John Wesley?

2009-01-14T19:20:00.000-08:00

Kevin Watson at deeplycommitted.com has started an experiment to see how much social capital Methodist bloggers have. This experiment was prompted by the feeling among some Methodist bloggers that United Methodism does not always do as good of a job as it could at getting the Wesleyan message out there, particularly on-line. So, he wants to see how many views a YouTube video can get if Methodist bloggers work together to promote it. The experiment is to see how many hits the video will receive in two weeks.

If you want to participate you can: First, watch the video below. Second, copy and paste this entire post into a new post on your blog and post it. Third, remind people about this experiment in one week.

Based on the results of the experiment, Kevin will get in touch with the folks at Discipleship Resources and let them know the ways in which Methodist bloggers are often an underused resource.

Here is a link to the video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ISKTrScpzQ

Life in Advent

2008-12-17T19:22:00.000-08:00

So it is advent. It has been since November 30. We began with a wonderful Christmas at Home event at church on November 29 that included Advent Workshops, a Crock Pot-Luck Dinner, A Hanging of the Greens Service, and watching Christmas movies.
Maybe its been that advent came quickly after Thanksgiving, maybe its that my daughters have been constantly sick- at least for the past two months. Maybe I just took on too much this advent...or all of the above, but I am tired. So tired.
Advent is about waiting.
Awaiting the day that Christ came into the world, awaiting for Christ's return.
Peace- the prince of Peace came into this world and I have felt as if I am waiting for peace to come. I will breathe a sigh of relief Christmas Eve-- all of my bulletins will be done, the sermons written, the bible studies will come to a close. People will still be in the hospital and in prison, in need of visitation, people will still come in hungry for food, shelter, jobs. But the hectic pace will slow...
But what I've really learned is that I need to slow the pace down within me. (Like I didn't already know that, right?)
Today I meditated on Isaiah 35: 3-8
I was especially moved by verses 4-5:“ Be strong, do not fear! Behold, your God will come with vengeance, With the recompense of God; He will come and save you. Then the eyes of the blind shall be opened, And the ears of the deaf shall be unstopped."
I felt a sense of relief, Christmas is coming.
And I know-- Christ has come to open my eyes and unstop my ears.
I need to be unstopped from all the chaos that has filled-- all the stuff I've allowed to fill my overflowing plate...
Sunday night I went to worship at our contemporary service and they sang "Away in a Manger." Here is a song I've heard all my life- but on this night I heard it and realized that in the first verse of the song- it is us rocking Baby Jesus and by the second verse we are being rocked by God.
I needed that too.
I needed to remember that God is rocking me.
And I did.
God is holding me- I don't need to hold all this stuff. I don't need to own it. I don't need to take it on. I can let myself become unstopped and truly hear God.

We have a Christmas Comfort Service - this is our third year doing it.
Many churches have a Blue Service- and this is our version... except it isn't just for folks who are grieving, its for anyone and everyone who has become swept away or stressed in the busyness of the season and needs to be still, become unstopped, rest and feel God's comfort, peace, and healing. I am looking forward to it- while I'm leading it and preaching it- I too am in need of God's wholeness. I am ready to feel the peace of Christ who comes to us as an infant (in need as any baby, unable to care for himself) and He comes ready to give us all we need.

Lenten Disciplines

2008-02-23T11:11:00.001-08:00

My Lenten Discipines were/are to spend time in reading scripture (not for the purposes of teaching or preaching), prayer, and posting on my blog once a week. I've been doing pretty good with spending time in prayer and fairly well in bible reading, but as far a posting- not so good. But I'm working on it! So below is my first post- in way long!

When I woke up this morning- at 6:30am- not of my own voluntary nature. I decided I would finally write. In between my own cereal and feeding my dear daughter spoonfuls of oatmeal and watching her smoosh bannana in her hair- I finally wrote!

Times are Changing/ Times are Changing Back

2008-02-23T10:41:00.000-08:00

It is an exciting time right now and I’m actually glued to it (as much as I can be). I taped the debates and watched them later when I had time, I love listening to the commentators and pundits, most of all I’m excited about the passion I am seeing people have throughout our country. People actually seem like they are getting more inspired, more invested, and seeking to work for something better-- moving forward.

I’ve always loved politics. Well, more like a hobby. I grew up in a political family—mostly prompted by my mother. In my family we watched the evening news every night religiously. We dined with Peter Jennings and during commercials discussed what was happening in the world. It was your duty, your right, and a great opportunity to be a good citizen and take part in the democratic process. I didn’t know I was strange until in middle school I shared with friends that my favorite show was "This Week with David Brinkley"!

Other kids didn’t watch it? How strange! They were missing out on my crush George Stephanopoulos and my hero Cokie Roberts. How I loved watching Cokie Roberts! She was this smart, beautiful, wise woman sitting among men with poise, power, and persistence. They cared what she thought, they listened to her; they were not intimated by her (although they probably were…) but she was there! I knew that I too could speak up-- my voice was important. It is no surprise that among my favorite movies I would list “Mr. Smith Goes to Washington.” The understanding that I was called to stand up for justice and work for peace- that I was connected to the world through the Body of Christ was so clear even as a child. I had a responsibility to do justice, love mercy, and walk humbly.

As much as I enjoy seeing politics unfold, as much as the political world excites and frustrates me, God did not call me to speak from the Hill, but God did and does continue to call me to help the church to stand as a city on a hill. See Matthew 5: 14-15. I would like to see the same fire and enthusiasm that people have for fighting/ending war, immigration, taxes be in people about spreading the light of Jesus Christ. In my family we talked easily about your duty as a citizen, as we watched the news, but it was never framed as "this is your call as a Christian". Think of all the money that is thrown at commercials, publicists, pundits, and graphics! How the church could use this for further ministry.

I don’t think the answer is to make the church more like the CNN newsroom. No Lou Dobbs or Wolf Blitzer in the pulpit, we don’t need to have catchy music and fancy graphics for everything. Often it seems churches think the answer to getting people excited is to say- Hey the Mall brings people in- let’s be like the mall, or whatever else may be popular. I don’t think that is the answer. I attended an ALL Day workshop on “Restoring Methodism” where authors James and Molly Scott who wrote Restoring Methodism: 10 Decisions for United Methodist Churches in America offered that the answer is in going back. They offer a lot of good in their book (which I'm still reading). In many ways we do need to reclaim our Wesleyan roots, but at the same time we cannot discount the good, creative, and new things we are doing. We can’t act as if all the good that happened in our church was generations ago- what does that say to me and to my generation and the youth of today and the future?

We aren’t called to mimic the hype of what we’re seeing in the political world- as intoxicating as it is. And we don’t have to choose as they are. One party speaks mostly of change and the other of returning to the past. We are theologians! We are the church. We do not look at the world in a linear this or that fashion—rather we are capable of loving the world and holding a theology of tension. We are “BOTH AND” and we can reclaim our Wesleyan heritage, restore the good that we’ve lost while still move progressively forward.

2007-10-11T12:58:00.000-07:00

Names

2007-10-11T03:03:00.000-07:00

So, I'm new at this... As I created my blog this morning - and I'm not a morning person- just couldn't sleep and decided-- NOW I'm going to do this! Anyway, as I created my blog it came to the place to name it and I was utterly paralyzed. Naming it seemed to give it finality. Naming it seemed to say- this is who I am and what I'm about. Names are powerful indeed.

Throughout the Gospel of Mark Jesus seems to be trying to keep the disciples from sharing what His name is- Savior, Son of God. Known as the Messianic Secret, Jesus often tells people after healing them not to share this news with anyone (which they usually do not do). He also orders the disciples not to tell anyone about him after asking them, "Who do people say I am? " People think he's John the Baptist or Elijah... and he says to them, "But who do you so I am?" and Peter says, "You are the Messiah." Verse 8:30 then tells us, "And he sternly ordered them not to tell anyone about him." He then goes into foretelling his death and resurrection. There's a mess of theological reasoning for why Mark's Gospel has this Messianic Secret... that I won't go into here (I couldn't even say it all).

But suffice to say- Names are powerful.

My name is Beth. I've always been called Beth.

There is power in my name. Beth is short for Elizabeth and embodies the meaning of Elizabeth -which one of those kiosks in the mall with magnets telling you what names mean - noted that it meant "close to God." An etymology search tells me it means "my God is an oath" or perhaps "my God is abundance."

My middle name is Ruth comes from my Grandma. A strong, sturdy, stubborn, loving, wise, smiling woman whom I miss but carry with me in my heart and name. Ruth is also from the book of Ruth. Ruth was loyal to her mother-in-law Naomi and said to her, "Where you go, I will go;where you lodge, I will lodge; your people shall be my people, and your God my God." (Ruth 1:16). Ruth went where she was called to go.

My Dad used to call me Liza Ruth- which I love! And he would sing me a song, "Ohhhh Aliza, Little Liza Ruth." Later in life I came to the realization that there is a song that goes, "Ohhh Aliza, little Liza JANE!" It wasn't my song after all. Yet, it is still my song- me and my Dad's. And still incredibly special to me.

I used to be a camp counselor at an awesome Christian Camp and we would do name games and you needed to pair your name with an adjective... I was given the name "Bubbly Beth" and kept it for name games throughout our summers. I hated that bubbly implied "bubble headed" air headed (b/c I also happen to be blond...) But I was and am for the most part a bubbly person- I'm optimistic (and have, at times been criticized for being so) But I am not bubbly without depth- I'm not optimistic without solid reasons for being so. I believe the Gospel, I know of a greater, deeper, filling, life-giving, joy sustaining hope. And so for that I am Bubbly Beth.

Five years ago I added a new name to myself, Anderson. When I married my husband Kevin. All my life I was sure I would keep my maiden name of S____. I am the youngest of 7. All girls. And my name S is important to me. I love being a S. I love being one of the S girls.
I always wanted to be my like my oldest sister too. She was a creative adventurer- she didn't get married till her early thirties, kept her name, was bold and audacious...and so much more. She had a firm identity and had established herself as a photographer and kept her name.
That had been my plan-- do lots of adventurous stuff and get married after I had established myself and done all I wanted to do. Yet, in 2000 I met my husband in the middle of a street at a music festival in and I fell in love- true love (and I never thought that existed either...) When he proposed seven months later and as we prepared for our wedding, I came to the decision that I wanted to be share his name and be an A. It has as much to do with his family as it did him. I love my A family. From the moment they met me that first Christmas of 2000 they welcomed me in and I fell in love with all of them. I was glad to become an A. And I realized that becoming an A didn't give away my sassy, Southern, soulfoul, and very special S-ness.

This past March I added a new name. Perhaps the most amazing name I've ever been blessed to receive- Mom. Names give identity and this is a new part of who I am. My daughter is 7 months. She is amazing and I feel like becoming a mother has been an entrance onto sacred ground.

I am Called, Licensed, and Commissioned, and God-willing will be Ordained Reverend Anderson. My Call is a long story (and I 've already written more on my first post than I ever imagined) but the short story is that I always knew God and had God in my life. I became deeply aware of God's presence as a teen during some rough times in my life and truly realize the depth of God's Amazing Grace (not to be chessy, but its true). I experienced that God truly never forsakes us (even when we can feel forsaken). I felt held, sustained, loved by God at my lowest point.
I realized that I was indeed made in the image of God and loved.
I was redeemed.
I was reconciled.
The Gospel held me.
God pulled me from what the Psalmist often call "the pit" and claimed for His own.

The call simply began with me deeply wanting all people to know that no matter who they were, where they were, God loves them. From there my call to ministry just kept growing. My college, the US-2 Program, United Methodist Women, and so much more formed me, shaped me, and helped me to hear God in my life so that I knew that I was called to be a pastor.

When K and I were youth pastors together during seminary the Sr. Pastor there said to me, "If there is anything you can see yourself doing other than being a pastor--- do that." While his statement sort of shocked me when I first heard it - there is so much wisdom there--and I am a pastor. This is what I have been called to be--it is part of who I am. And after having answered God's call I can see that call clearly throughout my life- starting as a little girl--- but I didn't fully accept it until I was a US-2 Missionary serving in downtown Detroit.

So- I named my blog-- after hesitating... after getting over my paralyzing feeling about a name. I named it Rev Momma-- its not all of who I am, but at this point in my life it encompasses a lot of me- Mom, Wife, Pastor-- called to each, loving it all!