Getting Shoes On

This morning I yelled at my 5 year old for not listening and Not  getting her socks and shoes on.

 It was not my best moment.


I had asked her about five times.
 She had them in her hand and I had likely gotten distracted.
I was in a hurry.
 I wanted to get things done.

Why do I do this?  Why do I let chronos time dictate?
 Why can't I be more gentle?
Why can't I be like the moms who always speak gently, with full patience?
  Please I am hoping that even perfect moms lose it every now and then....

 I apologized.  I asked her to forgive me - that I was sorry I yelled and I needed to work on my patience and I asked her to please work on her listening.

 I'm not sure if its helpful, but I said, "Gracie, when your teachers ask you to do something, do you do it?"  Yes
So, let's do that with Mommy and Daddy too.

This morning I got the karios time right- the perfect and wonderful snuggling the whispers of I love you!

But then the rush and rush and rush, and then the thinking
- if I had gotten up earlier, if I had packed lunches last night, If I had done... all these other wonderful organized things.

It has felt like a more stressful week than usual.
I've dealt with some things and some folks that has required a little extra grace.
The week feels pretty stacked...

But I know that God is breathing in me, that God is creating in and out of the chaos, I know that all will be well.
I know that it may not be perfect.
But in the midst of it all- may God help me remember and know that
what is more important than being on time,  
more important than the house looking nice, 
more important than anything anything in the world
- is that I am gentle with my children's souls.

 I don't want them to remember me and be afraid.
I don't want them to stop listening because they tune out of someone sounding constantly demanding- pick up your toys, do this, don't do that, stop that....

I really love bathtime and bedtime-- for some reason I let go of rushing then- not always but way better.
I just BE with them.
I did have hopes of getting things done when they got to bed... but somehow my agenda didn't get in the way. 

During bathtime we sang everything- like a musical.
I made games of-- who can wash their tummies, their arms, their feet, legs, etc.
And they got it done- and we had fun.

I pray that I can be more focused on the joy of being with them,
the joy of being in the moment, 
I pray that I may delight in them.
I pray that I will not seek to make them regimented, soldier like.
I pray that they will be joyful, silly, kind, peace pulsating, children of God's kingdom.
I pray that I may be a beacon of light - that is calm, warm, peaceful, loving, affirming, encouraging.
May I be filled with the fruits of the spirit,
Love, joy, peace, patience kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control!
 May I embody these fruits, so that my children may know my love and know your love God. 
God, make me the kind of Mom you call me to be,
Amen.

 More on this

Twas the Night Before Christmas

Twas the Night Before Christmas at the Preacher's House...
There was a very cool article about how pastor's do Christmas that was floating around Facebook that I thought was pretty good.

For a lot of folks Christmas can be stressful, especially for Clergy, Clergy Moms and Dads, and I believe especially for Clergy Couples. Churches can do a lot to ease the stress off the pastor so that the pastor may be the most effective s/he can be-- especially on the night that is most the most highly attended church service of the year!

I am very very thankful for the amazing church I serve!

Messiah United Methodist Church is an amazing community of faith sharing the joy of Jesus Christ!

I've had both of my babies here. In fact we found out the day after we moved in the parsonage that we were pregnant.

I thought they would just be so disappointed! Here they brought on this young vibrant pastor and I was exhausted.... But no, they never thought or acted this way. Once my church knew that Kevin and I were expecting our first child- they were as ecstatic as we were! Then when sixteen months after our first we had our second, they joyfully welcomed her too!

Messiah has always been wonderful at offering childcare at church events, worship, meetings, etc. They were like this way before I was here.

But here's the huge thing- if I'm the only one who needs childcare at a meeting...it is still made available for me. That is huge! (Some of you will really know this!)

We have wonderful families, but neither Kevin's family nor mine live close by.
At church events, worship, etc, we do not have family who can help with our children.
One year, our children were in the nursery until 12:30am on Christmas Eve!
(We have the most amazing childcare/nursery workers ever!!! They love our children and we love them!)

We are a clergy couple- so we usually both need to be at church at the same time.
Currently, we serve at the same church (which has advantages and disadvantages to child care needs--for ex we once were both leading retreats (me for the Women's Ministry, him for the Youth on the same weekend- Aghh!)

For Christmas Eve this means four services 5, 7, 9, and 11. I lead the 5pm service for children and families. This service used to only have the children's Christmas pageant and children's music.... which is great--but I added a sermon when I came on board. Mostly because I figured that for some folks this may the only church service they attend all year, but also because every opportunity I get, I'm going to preach the Gospel. Dr. Teresa Fry-Brown used to walk into the classroom, shout out a text, and give us 3-5 minutes to preach a 3-5 minute sermon.
Even if I've got only a small window of time...its still an opportunity...

Kevin preaches at the 7pm Youth Service and then we're both at 9 and 11.

For a couple years now, one of our friends who also happens to be a staff member (although this is not part of her job!) has offered to be at our house with our children (and her kids come over too) we turn on the fire and they hang out enjoy watching movies, and our kids get to bed.

They did this again for us this year and it is a huge help- an enormous relief!

So after I finish preaching the 5pm service, I get the kiddos, take them home, get them in their Christmas pjs, and we put out Santa's cookies (milk will come out later).

I am so thankful for our friends helping us with this!

A few other kids have joined in this tradition- folks involved in the music ministry (who are also at church all night) have dropped off their kids.
SO in addition to my two-- our friends watched 2 other families' children!
With a total of 5 kids.
Before we left for church earlier in the afternoon on Christmas Eve-we pulled our pack n play out for one baby and cleaned the guest room up for another child to sleep.
Of course now- it still looks like a tornado hit our house --- post-Christmas....

Also for the past few years, one of the amazing women from our church, a Mom, and a friend, and a leader out of our PoLO's Parents of Little Ones ministry has organized "Christmas Eve Lunch" to be brought to our house on the 24th.

This is amazing and overwhelming, and I fight back tears as swarms of loving folks ring our doorbell bringing food. We were brought, turkey, ham, potatoes, green bean casserole, pumpkin bread, pumpkin cake, apple pie, salad, fruit salad, a Breakfast casserole! SO So much food!!! We ate a bit for Christmas lunch... but we are so go-go-go... that we don't tend to fill up too much on Christmas Eve... We really eat this on Christmas Day!
We have nothing to worry about on Christmas Day because of this joyful and kind service! And we are SO THANKFUL!

On Christmas Eve I tried to clean most of the day- we're having visitors coming in town this week... and since folks would be over in the evening of Christmas Eve I wanted things clean and organized... and I just wanted it to look nice for me- especially before the whirlwind came Christmas Day.
I cleaned until around noon ish-- then we ate a bit of lunch and then I put the girls in the bath by 2 ish. Gracie thought it was hilarious that she was taking a bath in the middle of the day!

I got the girls in their dresses, hair done, tights, shoes, and Kevin and I got ready and then we read "Twas the Night Before Christmas."

I wanted to be at church by 3:30 but didn't make it till 4 (still needed to print out my sermon and go over it a bit)-- even when its 5 minutes-- you still want it good! :)

Kevin was going to drop off girls at the Children's Choir room by 4:30 and get them where they needed to be. I had enough time to print sermon, pull my hair up, get my mic, robe, and stole on, put the nursery workers cards and gift cards together (and asked someone to take them down to the nursery for me- yay for delegating!) and got in the sanctuary to greet folks coming.

5pm came and the service went great! I'm pretty sure we had about 1000 folks at the Christmas Eve Service (but that's a "preacher's count" lol) Folks went out to the narthex...

The greatest part of service this year? After preaching my sermon- I sat with my family and together we watched the pageant together. We even got a picture!

Afterwards one of the youth helped Kevin get girls in settled in stroller to go home while I said goodbye to folks. Then I walked the girls home and got them settled with our friends.

I made it back in time to see the 7pm service. I wasn't participating in this service, so I had the great joy to sit in the pew and hear my husband preach!

You might be wondering - do preacher's eat dinner on Christmas Eve? I'm not sure how other's do it-- but I only eat and the other pastors and musicians and those involved in services at Messiah eat because of the love and generosity of the SPRC (for non Methodists- that's Staff Parish Relations Committee --they're like HR) The Staff Parish Committee sets a spread for all of us in the parlor. We have caffeinated drinks (a must), sandwiches, hors d'oeuvres, sweets, etc.. Everything is delicious and we graze all night.

One of the best Christmas Eve's -- it was right before the 11 o'clock service and I said something that sounded really Southern and I laughed at myself and said, "Wow, I'm tired my Southern accent is really coming out!" And Ralph (our Sr. Pastor said), "I hate to tell you this, but you always sound Southern!" We all were rolling! He has an incredible sense of humor!

The greatest part of Christmas Eve is singing "Silent Night" seeing the light of the Christ candle spread throughout the congregation and as the light is spread, Mary, Joseph, and baby Jesus come up the aisle and stand with the pastors. I love sharing a hymnal with my amazing husband, holding my light high, and seeing the light throughout the congregation knowing that Christ has come!

At the end of singing Silent Night, Pastor Ralph gives this benediction:

"O holy Child of Bethlehem, descend to us we pray;
cast out our sin, and enter in, be born in us today!"

We sing "Joy to the World" and process out of the church with the acolyte leading, then Mary and Joseph, then Kevin and me arm in arm, and then Pastor Ralph and Pastor Jose side by side (they tend not to walk arm in arm!).

I love Christmas Eve! I love being a pastor and a mom and a wife-- and I love that God and my church have called and equipped me in all of the above!

Listening

It has been forever since I've posted! Lately- every quiet moment is taken up with cleaning, organizing, bill paying, sermon prep, --- and every other moment is visiting folks, email replies, congregational care calls, playing with the girls, story reading to the girls, cooking, laundry, meetings, etc.. life....
I came across this quote posted on Rachel Held Evans' blog-- and it made me smile!
Most Relatable:
Emerging Mummy with “In Which I Can Feel Like Sisyphus”
“When I'm picking up for the eleventy-billionth time, when every one needs to eat and it seems like wejust ate, when we are wondering what to do with our one wild and precious life that sure isn't feeling very wild or precious right about now, when the laundry is piled unfolded and someone spills their full glass of milk on the floor I just washed and the bickering and noise enters its second hour and the house is too hot and there isn't much time for the things that I want to do on the day off, I feel like Sisyphus, futile, pushing a rock up a hill that will never summit

Everytime I turn around - I've cleaned the kitchen to find that shredded cheese is now spread all over the living room... (how did this happen?) Juice has been spilled on the dog.... play-doh is stuck to my toe....
We're still working on potty training our youngest - and that has lots of fun challenges.. While cooking dinner I hear the girls going upstairs and playing dress up- they come downstairs and do a "fashionista fashion show for us"

We're getting back to a rhythm with the girls going to preschool- back to preparing lunches, back to the dash for finding our school bag in the morning because it was not hung up in the "spot"
-- The other day in the car Gracie told Kevin- "Daddy we need to hurry." Kevin pulled over and told her that we did not need to be in a hurry- and all would be well. He wanted her to know that we didn't have be rush, rush, rushing... as we so often feel... We don't want to live in a attitude of go go go stress- but in receive receive grace and give give abundantly....


All this balanced with being a full time pastor at an incredible church. My children are around a lot- and thankfully everyone at church seems to love my children. It helps that they are just awesome awesome kids-- but it can be a little crazy when at the Wednesday night dinner they refuse to eat and only want to run around the Fellowship Hall. But I listen... and I hear joy and laughter. Last Wednesday the girls had some stickers and ran throughout the fellowship dinner giving everyone stickers and hugs. What did I hear- expressions of joy.... contagious....

I took Gracie with me on a visit recently- we took a woman a prayer shawl and Gracie prayed, "Dear God please heal, Ms., Ms. Ms... and I filled her name- Yes, heal Ms. XYZ. Make her feel better. Give her peace. Thank you for Jesus. Amen."
I listened and I hear- the Holy Spirit move as the woman we visited, her husband, sister and I held hands and continued to pray- but no one needed to say anything after that.


I was headed to take communion to a retreat I was leading and Gracie heard me talking to Kevin about getting communion supplies-- Gracie said, "I want us to have communion." We stopped and had worship and communion in our living room. It was awesome. Then they dropped me off to do my retreat.

I have this wonder, chaotic, filled, and blessed life!

I haven't been writing lately- but I've been listening to God, experiencing the power of joy, and doing pretty good. Yet I have been going and going-- and doing and doing and living and living-- I'm thankful for a moment to make myself stop - and share and reflect on all that I am experiencing and hearing. I need this too. I need moments of reflection so that I can listen to what my life and to what God is saying. Thanks for listening.

Momma Love Power

Thursday I ended up calling my doctor- thanks to the encouragement from a friend. I was coughing to much that I couldn't keep anything down and was most likely close to breaking a rib! So I called my Dr who sent me to a Pulmonery Specialist (Lung Specialist). My friend stayed with me through the day! Loaded me and my kids in the car and took me to the Dr. She entertained my kids and fed them at McDonald's while I saw the doctor. The Dr was awesome! She perscribed more steroids, another antibiotic, and gave me a samples and a script for more breathing treatments. She also gave me a spacer- it helps your inhaler do its job better. And she wants me to get an x-ray of my sinuses (which I have not yet had a chance to do). While I was getting the breathing treatment- I just laid down- it was the first time the pain lifted. My friend took me home, helped get my kids down, and offered to get my scripts for me! She is amazing. She brought me such peace on that day! I am so thankful for my friend being with me.

Friday the whole family rested- one child with a fever and Kevin not feeling great and I was doing the breathing treatments every 4 hours. But Kevin had to leave at 4 for the Confirmation Retreat- I had to get it together.

Some of my amazing co-workers brought us lunch and that became our dinner- sandwiches and soup from Panera! I got the kids down- and I rested too and kept doing my breathing treatments.

Saturday we had a lovely and easy day. I played with the girls, we rested and cuddled, and I kept on doing the breathing treatments. I managed to make food for us, to call and catch up with some folks, and even by the evening to do dishes and pick up the living room before going to bed.

All day Saturday I was sort of in awe of how I felt. I still had tightness and a coldness in my chest- I didn't quite still feel like a sumo wrestler was sitting on me - but I still felt pain and it lifted during the breathing treatments on the nebulizer. But the energy to do- to be awake and alert with the girls- I was shocked that I was mobile, breathing, alive, functioning! All I could think was God is so good! I am able to be their mom and see them play with play-doh and dress up, and take care of my four year old's fever!

It is healing work of God and it is healing work of medicine- but I think there is more to it too. I couldn't let this pain and illness keep me from loving them, taking care of them, playing with them, reading books to them (between my hacking cough). I had the energy- the will- the desire- to do this.

I think that there is power in Momma Love-- when your mom takes care of you there is healing power in that-- but there is more to Momma Love-- your love for your children as a mother is powerful- and it can heal them but also heal you! It was healing me- it was Holy Spirit filled Momma Love power.

I think Momma Love is quite biblical and has the power to heal and restore much. Julian of Norwhich talked of Jesus as Mother Jesus who gave us new birth on the cross-- Jesus says he longs to gather us a mother hen gathers her chicks. Jesus's mother love for us is healing for the world- healing, reconciling, restoring us to be in real and right relationship with God and with all the world.

My love for my girls holds power.

I've just finished reading Shayne Moore's book "Global Soccer Mom." You can learn more about Shayne here http://www.globalsoccermom.com/

She talks about her love as a mom hurting for the world and I feel that too. My love for my children is powerful and I connect that love with and all the other children of this world. I may not be their Mom, they may not have a mom and I may not be able to adopt them- but my love can do something- it can be healing- and it work in the healing love for living God's kingdom now. Christ is seeking to gather us - his little chicks- to be well.

What if all the moms in the world - we're busy- wiping bottoms and noses, making sure our kids eat enough vegetables, and brush their teeth- what if we also did something about the rest of the children of the world too. That's what Shayne talks about in her book.

I finished this book over this time I've been sick. Resting was like forcing myself to stop- so I stopped and I read. (I'm sure that someone will say I didn't really stop- but reading felt renewing and restoring too).

Our love has healing power. In these days I am feeling that very personally as I heal from this illness, but I realize too that my love for my girls does a lot more in me too. Let your love - especially your momma love have power- Shayne talks about how it has power to change the world.

Closing Questions

Back in November, I attended the New Church Leadership Institute offered by our Annual Conference. It was amazing, inspiring, reality filled, discernment pushing, powerful learning.... It was taught and led by Jim Griffith. He is amazing- and if you ever have the opportunity to attend anything he is doing--GO! Even if you are not interested in church planting- you'll learn a ton! Since 1996 he’s assessed over 1900 church planting candidates, trained over 9,000 planters, and coached over 1500 projects. He works with over thirty organizations.

I was supposed to attend this back in 2008-but I decided that it was more important for me to get away to write my ordination papers- and that worked out pretty well.

So I went this year- and I knew even a bit more about church development and planting because in 2010 I was asked to be on our Conference's Church Development Team. That's been a lot of fun and I've learned a lot.

So there are like 20 pages of exit interview response questions after attending the event. The questions are really good- and they truly help you reflect! The conference was held mid November- so we went into Thanksgiving, Advent, etc. and the exit interview questions were due last week-- I'm finally getting them in!Agh! (I did take a real- real vacation last week and pretty much did not work)But YAY! I have finally gotten it done. In some ways it felt like writing ordination papers again- but I was definitely more ...free flowing in this. No one is really grading me- this is for me... Yikes- won't it be horrible if it turns out differently? :)

No really- its a good thing- the whole thing was about discerning- are you a church planter are you called to do this... I found some answers that I was not sure I would have and some that were hard to accept. But isn't discernment like that-- when you really do it? You learn you can't agree with yourself like you wanted...sometimes the answer is a "yes, but".... (not like you thought it would be).

So the closing questions are:
1) Had I known you better, what question would I have asked that I didn't ask?
2) If money were no object, describe your dream job?

These are great questions! And so this is what I wrote:

If I am completely honest- I sometimes fantasize about what it would be like to be a stay at home mom… I know I would not last long- or I would just be taking on project after project in ministry anyway… sometimes it comes out of a mom-guilt thing- but mostly it just that I take so much delight in my children. I really love being with them! They are amazing people! They are kind and sweet and funny and smart and loving-- and they love learning and they remind me to be in awe of life and God and the world around me!

When I was a US-2 Missionary I loved everything about my work and was there 80-90 hours a week- I got married and pulled back to about 60-70 and my husband became essentially my biggest volunteer (as his youth director job only was 20 hours a week at the time). When I was a youth pastor I tried to convince my husband that we should move out closer to the church we served so that we could do more for the youth—but he reminded me that our reasons for coming to Atlanta were for school and that I would have plenty of time for full time ministry.

I love ministry still and I am still someone who works easily 60 hours a week. I struggle to not work on vacation! But these days- I have a much easier time saying no to work and yes to my girls—sometimes I wonder if that means I am not as passionate as I should be about ministry. But I have discerned that I am no less passionate for ministry, but my passion capacity is also filled by the greatest and most amazing part of my life—my children. My parents were busy a lot and not always available—I will not do that to my girls.

I want to be with them more than anything. I love and want to be doing ministry. It is never easy and I rarely – (read here) never achieve balance- and I do not believe an equilibrium would be a good thing anyway- that is what balance is - equilibrium taken literally-because that would mean that nothing is driving me.

The house is never clean, the office is never organized- there are papers and piles, and a million things that are never completely done. I am pulled in a million directions and every day is a decision of what matters most and how much can I handle and who and where can I get the help I need to make it happen- who can I delegate to- who can I empower- and how can we work together to make it all happen in the joy of Christ?

That is a very long answer. Essentially- I’m doing it. As long as I am delighting in my family, creating ministry, producing fruit-creating and transforming disciples who transform the world- what else is there?

Yes- there is money… and I need money- I would really like to not have student loan debt, a car loan, or any debt, I would love to someday be able to own my own home. I would like to do bills without feeling anxiety…but I feel confidant that step by step it all will work out and we will be provided for no matter what.

God is always providing for us. I like simplicity and most days- when it comes to finances- I miss the simplicity of our life in Detroit when I made $200/ a month and Kevin made just a bit more- our room and board were provided (although we paid half back to the church since we got married in my missionary term –but that is another story) but we had less stuff and less to worry about.

I do worry about my capacity to keep it up—I used to think I had never-ending energy—I’m beginning to learn I don’t. This time is about tough choices and how to find ways to live out all these calls God has given me and realize God will tell and lead me in it all.

I guess that is the question I would have asked—how do you keep it up? How do you not get burnt out from taking on too much? How do you say no when you love it all? I work on these things all the time—I’d like to see how others do it well. I learn from that.

So that's my answer to the Closing Questions.

I do not have if figured out- but I know that God is here, that God has called me, that every day God equips me, and that God is in control.

When there is chaos- God will create- when there is too much going on- God will take away- when I'm ready to listen and hand it over I will see that God will guide me and I need not worry. I am in the right place.
I can't not be who I am called to be- that means a wife and a mom and a pastor- even when it is messy and crazy- its beautiful and I delight in it. I delight in the joy of being married to my very best friend and the love of my life- I delight in my children, I delight in the joys and challenges of ministry!
And it is all from the Lord! I delight in the Lord!

"Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart." (Psalm 37:4)

Names

So, I'm new at this... As I created my blog this morning - and I'm not a morning person- just couldn't sleep and decided-- NOW I'm going to do this! Anyway, as I created my blog it came to the place to name it and I was utterly paralyzed. Naming it seemed to give it finality. Naming it seemed to say- this is who I am and what I'm about. Names are powerful indeed.

Throughout the Gospel of Mark Jesus seems to be trying to keep the disciples from sharing what His name is- Savior, Son of God. Known as the Messianic Secret, Jesus often tells people after healing them not to share this news with anyone (which they usually do not do). He also orders the disciples not to tell anyone about him after asking them, "Who do people say I am? " People think he's John the Baptist or Elijah... and he says to them, "But who do you so I am?" and Peter says, "You are the Messiah." Verse 8:30 then tells us, "And he sternly ordered them not to tell anyone about him." He then goes into foretelling his death and resurrection. There's a mess of theological reasoning for why Mark's Gospel has this Messianic Secret... that I won't go into here (I couldn't even say it all).

But suffice to say- Names are powerful.

My name is Beth. I've always been called Beth.

There is power in my name. Beth is short for Elizabeth and embodies the meaning of Elizabeth -which one of those kiosks in the mall with magnets telling you what names mean - noted that it meant "close to God." An etymology search tells me it means "my God is an oath" or perhaps "my God is abundance."

My middle name is Ruth comes from my Grandma. A strong, sturdy, stubborn, loving, wise, smiling woman whom I miss but carry with me in my heart and name. Ruth is also from the book of Ruth. Ruth was loyal to her mother-in-law Naomi and said to her, "Where you go, I will go;where you lodge, I will lodge; your people shall be my people, and your God my God." (Ruth 1:16). Ruth went where she was called to go.

My Dad used to call me Liza Ruth- which I love! And he would sing me a song, "Ohhhh Aliza, Little Liza Ruth." Later in life I came to the realization that there is a song that goes, "Ohhh Aliza, little Liza JANE!" It wasn't my song after all. Yet, it is still my song- me and my Dad's. And still incredibly special to me.

I used to be a camp counselor at an awesome Christian Camp and we would do name games and you needed to pair your name with an adjective... I was given the name "Bubbly Beth" and kept it for name games throughout our summers. I hated that bubbly implied "bubble headed" air headed (b/c I also happen to be blond...) But I was and am for the most part a bubbly person- I'm optimistic (and have, at times been criticized for being so) But I am not bubbly without depth- I'm not optimistic without solid reasons for being so. I believe the Gospel, I know of a greater, deeper, filling, life-giving, joy sustaining hope. And so for that I am Bubbly Beth.

Five years ago I added a new name to myself, Anderson. When I married my husband Kevin. All my life I was sure I would keep my maiden name of S____. I am the youngest of 7. All girls. And my name S is important to me. I love being a S. I love being one of the S girls.
I always wanted to be my like my oldest sister too. She was a creative adventurer- she didn't get married till her early thirties, kept her name, was bold and audacious...and so much more. She had a firm identity and had established herself as a photographer and kept her name.
That had been my plan-- do lots of adventurous stuff and get married after I had established myself and done all I wanted to do. Yet, in 2000 I met my husband in the middle of a street at a music festival in and I fell in love- true love (and I never thought that existed either...) When he proposed seven months later and as we prepared for our wedding, I came to the decision that I wanted to be share his name and be an A. It has as much to do with his family as it did him. I love my A family. From the moment they met me that first Christmas of 2000 they welcomed me in and I fell in love with all of them. I was glad to become an A. And I realized that becoming an A didn't give away my sassy, Southern, soulfoul, and very special S-ness.

This past March I added a new name. Perhaps the most amazing name I've ever been blessed to receive- Mom. Names give identity and this is a new part of who I am. My daughter is 7 months. She is amazing and I feel like becoming a mother has been an entrance onto sacred ground.

I am Called, Licensed, and Commissioned, and God-willing will be Ordained Reverend Anderson. My Call is a long story (and I 've already written more on my first post than I ever imagined) but the short story is that I always knew God and had God in my life. I became deeply aware of God's presence as a teen during some rough times in my life and truly realize the depth of God's Amazing Grace (not to be chessy, but its true). I experienced that God truly never forsakes us (even when we can feel forsaken). I felt held, sustained, loved by God at my lowest point.
I realized that I was indeed made in the image of God and loved.
I was redeemed.
I was reconciled.
The Gospel held me.
God pulled me from what the Psalmist often call "the pit" and claimed for His own.

The call simply began with me deeply wanting all people to know that no matter who they were, where they were, God loves them. From there my call to ministry just kept growing. My college, the US-2 Program, United Methodist Women, and so much more formed me, shaped me, and helped me to hear God in my life so that I knew that I was called to be a pastor.

When K and I were youth pastors together during seminary the Sr. Pastor there said to me, "If there is anything you can see yourself doing other than being a pastor--- do that." While his statement sort of shocked me when I first heard it - there is so much wisdom there--and I am a pastor. This is what I have been called to be--it is part of who I am. And after having answered God's call I can see that call clearly throughout my life- starting as a little girl--- but I didn't fully accept it until I was a US-2 Missionary serving in downtown Detroit.

So- I named my blog-- after hesitating... after getting over my paralyzing feeling about a name. I named it Rev Momma-- its not all of who I am, but at this point in my life it encompasses a lot of me- Mom, Wife, Pastor-- called to each, loving it all!