Turning off....

Up at 4ish after a child wet the bed.
Snoozed with said child till 6.
Church by 7:15 -- all of us.

Amazing Day! Food Pounding-- We have tons and tons of food brought by everyone for families in our area in need of Thanksgiving and Christmas. Christmas Shoeboxes were collected, College Care packages were sent out. Nothing But Nets collected money.
We sorted all the food after church- This year the girls were old enough to help, but I truly felt worried we wouldn't make it through when I got them from the nursery at 12:10... they were melting down!
There is a sorting party in the sanctuary, I told the girls! We're invited to help! :)
They had a blast! It was so awesome to see Sophia- 3- excitedly taking stuffing, potatoes, canned goods, soup,and other groceries. I helped her up and down the stairs, found food for her and together we sorted. Gracie (4) went right to work and seemed to know just what to do. A 6 year old handed Sophia some food to deliver to its correct place and Sophia said, "Mommy, that was so nice!"

We waited to get the name of our family we would deliver to. We got a family with a 6 and 4 year old girl! Gracie was very excited about this! We packed a full bag for each person in the family, one set for Thanksgiving and one for Christmas. Lots of food was there- veggies, fruit, pie crust, filling, yams, marshmellows, gravy, ....soups, pasta, sauce, rice, potatoes, pancakes, syrup, cereal, oatmeal--- everything for Thanksgiving and everything for every day

We picked up our turkey, milk, and bag of fresh produce. And off we went to meet our family! Gracie played with the girls instantly and the Dad from the family helped me unload the car while Kevin entertained Sophia who was half asleep. Grace and I, the Mom and Dad and two girls and I prayed together. It was so wonderful. I wished I spoke Spanish- the Holy Spirit interceded and prayed with, for, and through us.

Home- Sophia and Kevin napped, Gracie watched a show...and I worked on prepping for Disciple Bible Study.

Fixed Dinner- Fed Kids. Walked them with the help of our "adopted grandma"/ nursery worker- to the nursery.

Amazing Disciple 2 Class- Talking about what it means to wait for the Lord, trust, and have patience like Joseph! Before we focused on the study- we ordered ourselves for ministry to the Hypothermia Rotating Shelter-- We're giving each guest Christmas gifts (20 guests) a $45 payless gift card (for good shoes), the Prayer Shawl knitters/crocheters of the church are making hats for the guests, one wonderful person in the class offered to make gift card holders, we are going to give inspirational little books along with our gifts. We'll be keeping their heads warm, feet warm, and hearts warm too.

Kevin texted to me to have someone walk home with me b/c there was a weird guy outside in the parking lot... Thankful for the fellows who made sure I got through the dark parking lot safely!

Home and cannot shake conversations from Disciple 2, the day, thoughts about church, vision for church universal, UMC, and all the places and ways God is leading the church and me.

It is hard to shut all of that down....

I'm also thinking about the visit I need to make for someone having triple by pass surgery... thinking about the Thanksgiving Eve Service I need to work on, thinking about the Hanging of the Greens Service for Saturday evening. Calling folks who are going to read and participate... Hoping that folks signed up for the Crock Pot Pot-Luck Saturday before the worship service (We have Christmas at Home: advent workshops, crock pot potluck, hanging of the greens service, and watching the Charlie Brown Christmas movie).
I'm thinking about updating the new 20Something class email list... and our new study. Their questions, vibrance, the way they inspire me...

There is so much- so much in my head and my heart.... and my feet are aching and my brain is like a ricocheting ideas and thoughts....my heart is overwhelmed with joy and gratitude...

It is so hard to slow all that down and know I can stop....
There is so much to do and plan and prepare and process...

And yet I need rest and I need to stop and I need for a moment to not be planning and preparing and processing-- sometimes I just need to be. Sometimes I do not need to be multitasking.... and going, going, going....

Lord, help me, even the midst of such overwhelming joy, even when everything is good and worthy, and exciting... to calm down and to stop.... to rest in you. To honor you and the life, body, mind and soul you have given me-- but giving me- part of your creation-- time to be renewed. Amen.

Learning Wholeness

I have not written in quite a while. I returned so full from our Holy Land trip- and I still am- I am filled with peace, with joy, with smiles and memories- and looking at pictures, reading my journal, I am back there. I even have an App on my phone that tells me the weather in Jerusalem! Part of me is still there... I've planted a part of my heart in the Holy Land and with the people there.

I have been ill since I've been back fighting off bronchitis and sinus infections. I pushed through and got exhausted and rested and pushed again and fever, headache, sinus pain slowed me down. I'm not good at resting. I feel like I should be able to take the medicine my Dr gives me and poof! be better. It seems that I have to learn this over and over again- that- this isn't quite how healing happens. I cannot keep doing and keeping a normal pace.

My husband is good at this or at least he is good at holding me accountable to this. I feel guilty when I rest- when I miss things- when I can't keep up my normal pace. I am a high energy person and I really can't stand when I can't keep up my regular pace. There are many people I haven't had a chance to catch up with since I returned, there are things I haven't had a chance to get done...I'll finally have energy and clean the whole house, do five loads of laundry and then I'm back to being exhausted. Kevin just looks at me and says- "You have to rest." Yesterday he said, "Hey- you promised to do this when you were ordained." I said, "How so?" "Well, he said, "you committed to self care too." It is really amazing and wonderful and even little frustrating... to have someone who holds you accountable. I need it and I am thankful- the frustrating part really is not being able to be as productive as I'd like. There's a lot to be done.... and I enjoy doing it too...

But I'm learning. Lent is a powerful time to be held accountable. I find that one of the things I have to learn is to slow down- to focus on Christ- and to be still. I do not do this naturally... or easily. But I have a best friend in my spouse who reminds me of this and teaches me. I can rely on him when I need to rest and there is no guilt and this is amazing. I especially felt guilty resting after being gone for 10 days on our trip- and now I'm back-- but not fully back like usual!

But this has also taught me- I'm more than what I do. There is more to me- to those I love than what I can do for them. Sure, they love my energy, and my doing-ness- but they love me first.

God loves us first- God is not satisfied with sacrifices and what we do-- Our actions are important and necessary- but there is more that God wants.
Psalm 51 says, "For you have no delight in sacrifice; if I were to give a burnt offering, you would not be pleased. The sacrifice acceptable to God is a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise."


I think sometimes I feel so filled with the joy of Christ that I think I can just go forever and not tire... and yet I do - I get really tired, I get exhausted, and I get sick-- these past two weeks- evidence.


I pray that in this Lenten season, I may learn to have my heart, my soul, my body, my whole self broken for Christ and healed by Christ, and made whole by Christ. That I may listen and be still for what it is God is calling. Let me then bring forth my energies, my sacrifices, all my service-- for then I will be filled and able to give more freely.