Last week was a huge week- I guest preached for a friend on the 15th- I worked on the Women's Retreat, I had two funerals, I prepared for the Open House where we invited all the church to come!
I had a horrible asthma attach last Wednesday night and ever since- struggled with breathing and with having a voice. Went to Dr today- bronchitis ugh! Chest X-ray tomorrow...
Throughout the week everything went together so well.
Today I noticed that there was a typo in our favor we gave out to everyone who came to the Open House (it is small-- but I noticed and thought- why didn't I find this sooner?) Somehow when one thing got moved on our note-- the signature where we said "With Deepest Love and Overflowing Joy" got knocked off-- so it read, "With Deepest Love and Overflow" Ugh-- It's silly, isn't it? but hopefully they understood the point. :) If you're reading this and you came to the open house - you can fix your version :).
I went to Church Council tonight and as I shared what is coming up for me in May - it just feels like the next two months are really coming down fast. I cannot believe we are moving and I am excited and joyful and sad all at the same time. The Open House was pretty essential for me to say thank you to our church for the joy of serving as their pastor. It was a wonderful day! And thankfully my voice held up - through Sunday Worship and 2 baptisms, and stopped working as I taught Sunday School.
As I prepare to move-- I think of Thomas Merton's prayer. While I do "know" where I am going- I don't "know" how it will be-- I know God will be with me. I know I am called there. I know God is sending me there. Just as God called and sent me here to Messiah 6 years ago.
I really dislike feeling less energy than normal- I really feel frustrated whenever I am ill. I really hate asthma. I have so much to do- and not sure how it will all get done. So this prayer is good- this prayer is what I need.
"My Lord, My God, I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road
ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end. Nor do I
really know myself, and the fact that I think I am following your will
does not mean that I am actually doing so. But I believe that the desire
to please you does in fact please you. And I hope I have that desire in
all that I am doing. I hope that I will never do anything apart from
that desire. And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right
road, though I may know nothing about it. Therefore I will trust you
always though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death. I will
not fear, for you are ever with me, and you will never leave me to face
my perils alone."
- Thomas Merton, "Thoughts in Solitude"
© Abbey of Gethsemani